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Worrying about worse case scenario

RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,591 The Mix Elder
edited May 23 in Health & Wellbeing
I spoke about this on support chat but wanted to talk further about it. I often assume the worst in situations and jump to bad conclusions quickly. I just feel like I always assume the worst because things haven’t gone as I hoped. I’ve tried different things but often ended up with the opposite of the outcome I wanted. If my friends don’t reply to my messages, I get scared I’ve lost them, and I worry about losing friends because it has happened before where I’ve been blocked or lost connections. I also worry about upsetting people and get scared that others are judging me negatively. I feel like everyone thinks the worst of me. When talking or texting, I constantly worry about saying something wrong, offensive, or judgmental, anything that might hurt or upset others unintentionally. This happens sometimes, like when I say inappropriate jokes or something negative without meaning to upset anyone. My career has been a long road, filled with worries growing up and constant setbacks. It often feels like one challenge after another, but I’m slowly making progress. Overall, I know I just need to improve my general self-confidence in person. I do get really scared of this stuff.

Comments

  • SerxphicSerxphic Posts: 47 Boards Initiate
    edited May 23
    Honestly, even acknowledging this is such an amazing start, I used to overthink and assume the worst in situations and the hardest part of trying to fix that was actually acknowledging how much of a problem it had become. The fact you understand how its effecting you is great, and actually can really begin to help if you can start to realise when you are overthinking. For me, being able to realise that I was overthinking and assuming the worst helped me be able to think about the situation in new ways. Something I did when it was the absolute worst, and situations occurred that I could absolutely not stop thinking about was write out the situation, what happened and how I felt other people felt about it. Then I would write the arguments for and against as to why people might think that way about something I did/said. For example if I made a mistake, I felt like people were judging me or thought I was stupid, but then I would write out the reasons that made me feel like they thought that, maybe things they said, their behaviour etc, and then I would write out the reasons that it probably wasn't the case; for example, they were looking at their phone/didn't really notice, they didn't say anything or seem to care etc. That may be kind of extreme for every single situation but it really helped me for specific things that constantly bothered me, and helped me get over those situations. And it helped me realise that what I was thinking wasn't really backed up by the facts of the situation, and helped me realise how much I overthought situations (I hope that makes sense... LOL writing it out isn't the easiest)

    I really hope that things get better for you, I know how difficult it is to constantly feel/think the worst about situations.
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,591 The Mix Elder
    Serxphic wrote: »
    Honestly, even acknowledging this is such an amazing start, I used to overthink and assume the worst in situations and the hardest part of trying to fix that was actually acknowledging how much of a problem it had become. The fact you understand how its effecting you is great, and actually can really begin to help if you can start to realise when you are overthinking. For me, being able to realise that I was overthinking and assuming the worst helped me be able to think about the situation in new ways. Something I did when it was the absolute worst, and situations occurred that I could absolutely not stop thinking about was write out the situation, what happened and how I felt other people felt about it. Then I would write the arguments for and against as to why people might think that way about something I did/said. For example if I made a mistake, I felt like people were judging me or thought I was stupid, but then I would write out the reasons that made me feel like they thought that, maybe things they said, their behaviour etc, and then I would write out the reasons that it probably wasn't the case; for example, they were looking at their phone/didn't really notice, they didn't say anything or seem to care etc. That may be kind of extreme for every single situation but it really helped me for specific things that constantly bothered me, and helped me get over those situations. And it helped me realise that what I was thinking wasn't really backed up by the facts of the situation, and helped me realise how much I overthought situations (I hope that makes sense... LOL writing it out isn't the easiest)

    I really hope that things get better for you, I know how difficult it is to constantly feel/think the worst about situations.

    Thank you so much for this it means a lot. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in feeling this way, and hearing how you managed to work through it gives me some hope. I really like the idea of writing things out like that it sounds like a practical way to break the cycle of overthinking. I’ll definitely give it a try.
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