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My own body and mind is betraying me
Summerjune15
Posts: 139 The Mix Convert
My own body and mind is betraying me I went 3 days seizure free today would of been the 4th but I had a seizure on the way home in the car and smacked the right side of my face on the car window when I came around I just started crying not just because of my pain but why how did my life change in the matter of seconds how did I go from a completely normal 17 year old to have seizures paralysis and other symptoms how in the matter of a blink of an eye and a click of my fingers did I have a diagnosis of functional neurological disorder I was finishing my last year in college I was applying for jobs for childcare I was having driving lessons going out with friends I had a normal 17 year old life but all my dreams have been ripped away from me I wanted to work with children like my nephew who have additional learning needs Autism ADHD etc I wanted to drive I want go out with my friends I want to go out laugh dance sing scream shout just LIVE welcome to the devil itself FND Functional neurological disorder.
(On a different rant after the seizure I was just happy I was going home to my dog and comfy pyjamas and blankets I went upstairs got dressed grabbed my blanket but nah she’s having none of it she sat on my lap for 10 seconds until my mum walked in and she ran straight to her FAVOURITISM It’s fine I’ve got my teddy yes I’m 17 and have teddies probably about 40 so sue me🤣)
(On a different rant after the seizure I was just happy I was going home to my dog and comfy pyjamas and blankets I went upstairs got dressed grabbed my blanket but nah she’s having none of it she sat on my lap for 10 seconds until my mum walked in and she ran straight to her FAVOURITISM It’s fine I’ve got my teddy yes I’m 17 and have teddies probably about 40 so sue me🤣)
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Comments
Thank you for sharing this with us. It sounds like things are feeling really tough in terms of the way your FND is impacting your life. I'm hearing that it feels strange and frustrating coming to terms with how your life might have changed since you started experiencing seizures and other symptoms. This is such a valid feeling, that you feel that your expectations for what you would be doing has perhaps changed a lot since your FND diagnosis. You've done so well in opening up to us about how this feels for you, and your emotions around this are all super valid.
I'm wondering if you feel you have someone that you are able to share these feelings with? Or maybe are you able to find ways to care for yourself when you feel this frustration and overwhelm?
It sounds like your teddies and dog are a great comfort for you, which is great to hear! You are also definitely not alone in your love for teddies!!
Take care.