TW// gonna loose eventually

Comments

• AnonymousToe Posts: 2,654 Boards Guru

  May 14

  Rose113 wrote: »

  Not sure why I’m posting this considering a few of my threads haven’t been answered but oh well I don’t expect support 🙃

  I just wanted to say it’s not you and try not to take it personally, the mix is going to ruin.
  
  

  Rose113 wrote: »

  it’s just hard especially with growing up thinking I was just a mess and broken.

  ^ I can relate to that and it’s so rubbish. I’m sorry.
  
  Hopefully the diagnoses will mean that you can get even better support tailored to you, that’ll hopefully make you feel a lot better. You deserve to feel better.
  
  Sorry I can’t give a very good response, I’m just socially drained from uni.

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• shannon_164 Community Connector Posts: 1,830 Extreme Poster

  May 14

  hey @Rose113 🙂
  
  firstly, i just want to say that i fully agree with @AnonymousToe in terms of threads not getting responses - with all the changes at the mix, several members have left, several mods are gone too & in general, the boards are noticeably more quiet - not at all trying to make this about me, but when i post on the boards, i rarely ever get a response and if i do, its from staff - i promise its nothing personal - you are cared about so much!!
  
  i’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. i know words can’t fix it, but i really do hear what you are saying - you’re so much more than the ‘therapist friend’, you’re someone who matters so much to the people around them, including me.
  
  you are not broken. being diagnosed with adhd and autism doesn’t make you a mess, it means your brain works in a different way, and it deserves care, not shame. i can only imagine how overwhelming it must feel to unlearn everything you were taught to believe about yourself while still trying to keep your head above water.
  
  please don’t forget: getting support is incredibly brave, even if it’s draining. you are doing the hard work of surviving, and that takes more strength than most people realise.
  
  you don’t have to carry all of this alone. we are here, and we care. even if you feel invisible or unheard, please know we are listening. we see your struggle, we feel the weight of what you’re carrying, and we are not going anywhere.
  
  you deserve rest. you deserve peace. you deserve a future that feels liveable. if things ever feel like they’re becoming too much, it’s really important that you reach out to because your life matters more than any of this pain.
  
  in case you need, here are some helplines:

  childline (24/7) - call 08001111
  
  shout (24/7) - text ‘shout’ to 85258
  
  samaritans (24/7) - call 116123
  
  papyrus (24/7) - call 08000684141
  
  knus (24/7) - whatsapp 07700165687
  
  mind (9am-6pm) - call 03001233393
  
  rethink mental illness (9:30am-4pm) - call 03005000927
  
  kooth (12pm-10pm) - webchat on website
  
  saneline (4pm-10pm) - call 03003047000
  
  calm (5pm-12am) - call 0800585858
  
  suicide prevention uk (6pm-12am) - call 08005870800
  
  kelly’s heroes (6pm-11pm) - webchat on website
  
  sos (8pm-12am) - call 08001151505

  
  i am so proud of you for holding on, even when it’s excruciating

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• Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 1,305 Wise Owl

  May 15 edited May 15

  Hey @Rose113 , thank you so much for this post and for opening up so honestly. We're listening, and I wonder how you're feeling today too? What has the end of this week been like?
  
  I could really hear a sense of exhaustion from your message - of just how straining it is to feel this hypervigilence all of the time. For your nervous system to never ever feel truly safe. To be screaming on the inside yet others percieved you as the one who has it all together, the one who is there to be a 'therapist' for them. That sounds deeply lonely at times, and so much to carry and manage.
  

  I’m getting support by professionals but it’s so draining especially with now being diagnosed with ADHD and Autism and being told I have impaired interception I know they are there so I can get supported but it’s just hard especially with growing up thinking I was just a mess and broken. I’m trying but I just don’t know how long I can do this

  
  I wanted to ask how you are feeling about your ADHD, Autism, and impaired interception diagnoses? Recieving a diagnosis can bring up a lot of different feelings for different people, and I hear that for you its been hard re-configuring the way you think and feel about yourself too, maybe, esspecially when you had held the belief that you were 'a mess and broken.' That sounds like a lot to reconfigure and adjust to, which can also be overwhelming. How supported have you felt by your assessors?
  
  I noticed you mentioned at the end of your post too that you feel there's a sense of inevitability about loosing your battle, but you judt don't know when. I hear you, and I hear how hopeless things can feel somtimes. How much of a fight it is day-to-day to cope. Can I ask how physically safe you are feeling right now?
  
  Thank you so much too @shannon_164 for sharing those helplines.
  
  We're here for you, Rose, and you're doing so well to talk about this aloud.

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• Rose113 Community Connector Posts: 3,421 Boards Guru

  May 15

  @Sian321 think I’ve hit some sort of burn out or smth, it happens every afternoon and now I’m sat waiting for class just wanting to curl up in a ball
  
  I’m safe

  Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.

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• Redemption Posts: 4,031 Community Veteran

  May 15

  Hey, I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. It sounds like you’re carrying so much, and I just want you to know you’re not alone. I see how hard you’re trying, even when things feel impossible. That takes strength. Getting support can feel exhausting, but you deserve help, and you’re not broken you’re someone who's been through a lot and is still holding on. That matters. You matter. Please keep going, even if it’s just one small step at a time. You’re not a burden, and the world is better with you in it.

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