haven’t shared how i am for a while

Loz · May 14

i don’t really know how to start this

i guess i feel like i’ve not really had the chance to sit down to think. i’ve been trying to stay distracted but it more feels like i’ve been dissociated for months. i never feel real i always feel like im watching my life.

today has been weird it’s like i can feel all the emotional pain i haven’t been feeling. it feels like a parasite is trying to claw itself out my chest.

it’s weird for me to not be engaging in old behaviours (i used to go missing and be quite high risk). sometimes i want to go back because it felt normal but i fear no one would care anymore.

i feel really alone there’s so much going on and i know there’s people but i feel like they never want to see what it’s like on my level.

ugh idek where to go with this

independent_ · May 14

I can understand how you feel on a level - it’s like all those feelings have been hiding away for months and then they suddenly come out and you feel them all at once. We’re all here to listen if you wanted to talk more about them (obviously no pressure to do that, but you know where we are).

Loz · May 14

in short i feel like everything is changing and im still stuck in the past and i’ve been ignoring it. i feel like everyone close to me is leaving and i resort to anger but when someone leaves i grieve them. and they don’t care.

i’m very much a contradictive person i say i hate people leaving but push people away

i just want a peaceful life where my mind isn’t in a constant warzone

haven’t shared how i am for a while

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