Worried I’ve failed my exams

user123 · May 8

Hi I’m 20 and in my second year of accounting at uni. I sat two exams in the past week and a bit and I think I have failed. I wasn’t coping well with anxiety leading up to the exams but sat them anyway as I didn’t want to leave them till August. But now I think I have failed and will have re sits for the two exams in August. This feels like the end of the world for me. I am usually high achieving and I don’t think I’ve even passed. For one of the exams I only answered 220/300 marks and I know I messed up a lot. The other one was just too difficult but I attempted it. I feel like a massive failure and that I’ve let myself down and everyone else. My boyfriend has finished his medical degree and is graduating in summer. I’m super proud of him but he is so successful and I am just a massive failure. I don’t know how I’ve gotten to this point in my life. I never thought I’d be that person as I always was better than that. I’ve emailed my study advisor expressing my concerns that I think I failed both exams and she said she can’t do anything about it. But what if my lecturers could even look at my paper and give me some form of reassurance. I know they have to be moderated but I need some form of reassurance for my own mental health and sanity. I need this break over summer to focus on my mental health and this is ruining any hope of that. I go on holiday for 2 weeks with my boyfriend in less than 2 weeks but how am I even able to look forward to that when my future is ruined? Does anyone have any advice that would be helpful. I feel like my life is ruined and I can’t be happy with this huge weight over me that I’ve failed. I’d rather just find out and have the closure from it. We don’t get results until June the 12th which is over a month away. I don’t think I’ll be able to cope with re sitting either. Can anyone offer me any help please

AnonymousToe · May 9

Nothing is ruined. It’s ok if you have failed. You could resit, repeat the year, or potentially suspend your studies for a bit. None of those things are going to ruin your future. Most people don’t have a perfect story. It’s ok. Well done for sitting the exams

shannon_164 · May 14

hey @user123 🙂

thank you for being so open about how you’re feeling. i know this must feel completely overwhelming right now, and i’m really sorry you’re going through this.

firstly, i want you to hear this: facing anxiety and sitting those exams anyway is a huge achievement. even if you feel like you didn’t do well, the fact that you showed up, tried, and pushed through speaks volumes about your strength. that matters.

it’s also really common for people to walk out of exams convinced they failed, only to find out they passed, or did far better than expected. exams can mess with your perception, especially when anxiety is involved. you answered most of one and attempted the other - you didn’t give up, and that’s something to be proud of.

comparing yourself to your boyfriend might feel unavoidable right now, but you are not a failure just because your journeys are different. medicine and accounting are both tough fields, and your success isn’t diminished by someone else’s path. you are allowed to struggle! you are allowed to need support! that doesn’t make you less smart or capable, it makes you human.

the waiting is brutal, i know, but please try to remember that your life is not defined by one or two exams. you are still going to graduate. you are still building a future. even if you do have to re-sit (and that’s still just a maybe), that doesn’t undo everything you’ve achieved so far. it is a hurdle, not a dead end.

you deserve your holiday. you deserve that time to breathe, to be loved, to be human. try not to let anxiety steal that from you. you are so much more than your grades, and your future is not ruined, it’s still being written.

we are all so proud of you

Sian321 · May 15

Hey @user123 , how are you doing today? Thank you for making this post. Waiting for exam results can truly be such a dread-filled time. It sounds really excrutiating too - that feeling that the results are now out of your control and the power is in someone else's hands but at the same time. It sounds like you're feeling a huge amount of anxiety right now, and we're so glad you can talk about that here so we can be alongside you in this.

You mentioned feeling like you have let yourself and everyone else down, and it feels like you're under such immense pressure right now and feeling like a faliure in comparison to your boyfriend and the high-standards that you hold yourself too. I really hear the weight of dissapointment you're feeling, and the hopelessness too of it feeling like the end of the world. That sounds overwhelming, @user123, and you're being so brave to share this. You deserve so much kindness and compassion around this. May I ask, when you speak of letting others down, is there anyone in particular that you're thinking about?

I never thought I’d be that person as I always was better than that.

I hear you, and that sounds incredibly hard - the feeling of not being able to recognise yourself, maybe, or feeling like you've become a person you never thought you would because you are always very high-achieving. That sounds like it might feel really destablising and I'm hearing some shame here too maybe, would that be fair to say? Like you have failed to be 'better'. Again, you're doing so well to talk about this. We're right here with you to listen without judgement.

It sounds to me like sitting the exams in and of itself was already a huge achievement in the sense that you had felt very anxious and nervous beforehand and yet, you still got yourself into that room. You still sat the papers. And that takes a huge amount of work and determination to do! It is clear that you have poured so much into this, @user123 - you care hugely. And you have done the very best that you can with what you had at the time. You deserve rest and time to recouperate after such a stressful exam period.

Can I ask, what would you say feels like the scariest part about the idea of potential faliure? What fears underlie this? What might failing mean? Regardless of what happens on results day, you are so deserving of kindness, compassion, and support, and you're allowed to struggle or to not know the answers. That sounds deeply human.

In terms of advice about getting through the next few weeks, I would say I wonder how you can focus on the little things that are within your control right now - such as boosting your self-care, nourishing your body, allowing yourself to rest, finding calm, positive distractions? And what might it might feel like to open up to some of the people in your life about the fear you're feeling, so you don't have to carry so much alone?

I know when I have felt very, very anxious about faliure, self-compassion meditations have helped me a lot to release some of that pressure. Through apps such as Headspace, or Calm on YouTube. If helpful, I will share a few grounding exercises below:

Deep breathing -