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CEDT assessment đŹ
Lottie5433
Posts: 784 Part of The Mix Family
I have my assessment online with the complex emotional difficulties team (CEDT) today at 10am and I'm bricking it.
I've not slept a huge deal as I was in a mini crisis last night but also I was just panicking about it so much as I don't know what to expect and no one has been able to tell me what to expect.
I worrying about where I do this as my sister and parents are home so I feel I can't do it there, mainly because a share a room with my sister. I spoke to my GM about doing it at work at the leisure complex whilst it's shut then going straight into deep cleaning up there but I don't know if she's going to let me.
So now im worrying about this and in the edge of crying and just emailing/phoning them to tell them I can't do it anymore and cancelling it.
Currently just in the gym trying to distract myself but its not helping đ
I fucking hate this feeling
I've not slept a huge deal as I was in a mini crisis last night but also I was just panicking about it so much as I don't know what to expect and no one has been able to tell me what to expect.
I worrying about where I do this as my sister and parents are home so I feel I can't do it there, mainly because a share a room with my sister. I spoke to my GM about doing it at work at the leisure complex whilst it's shut then going straight into deep cleaning up there but I don't know if she's going to let me.
So now im worrying about this and in the edge of crying and just emailing/phoning them to tell them I can't do it anymore and cancelling it.
Currently just in the gym trying to distract myself but its not helping đ
I fucking hate this feeling
4
Comments
i really am so so proud of you for even getting to this point, it takes so much strength just to show up for something like this, even when youâre bricking it. it totally makes sense that youâre feeling overwhelmed, especially with how little sleep youâve had and all the uncertainty around the assessment. not knowing what to expect can make anxiety spiral, and youâve been carrying a lot already!
please donât be too hard on yourself for feeling this way. you are not at all weak for being scared, youâre actually really brave for considering going through with it even with all this going on.
is there any way you can message your gm again just to check in about using the leisure complex? and if it isnât possible, do you have any alternative places to use?
please donât cancel because of panic though - the assessment is there to help you, and even if it feels intense, it could be a step toward things getting a little easier down the line. you deserve support and you deserve to be heard!
youâve got this, even if it doesnât feel that way right now
I just keep going into a spiral and into a state of panic about it. Like every time my phone get a notification I'm scared to look at it, or when the phone rings just incase it's them moving the assessment forwards or better cancelling it.
My GM phoned me today to ask where a key was for the leisure complex but I don't think I could go there now because we are having something fix - steam room tiles? I'm not sure. So it will be awkward if builders are walking in and out.
The only other place is my brothers room as he's at school or going to work and potentially doing it upstairs in the cafe (we don't use that and only staff are allowed)
Thank you again
Your showing immense strength and I hope this goes well for you. I can hear how scared yiu are feeling anoit this and how drained it's made you feel.
Remember in a way with it being virtual uoy in control, you can use fidgets to help you manage emotions and cam step away easier than face to face. Also you cannot see them.as such so that can sometimes make it easier.
Thank you for the message I appreciate it â¤ď¸
I did have my fidgets with me which helped a little bit.
TW mention of self harm and suicide
During the assessment we spoke about various things, like the guy had read my notes and my file on everything thats happened. To begin he just wanted to know about my situation of like who I live with and how I get on with them.
I said about how I get on with my brother coz he doesnt understand anything, i don't get on with my sisters because they use my mental health against me, and my parents are too helicoptery. We went on to discuss the helicoptering of my parents.
He asked if leading up to the appointment if I experienced anxiety and out of 100 what would I rate it. Moving on he asked about my suicidal thoughts and when my last attempt was
After all this i started to withdraw and was more restless and fidgety- more distracted I would say.
We also looked at and discussed relationships and he mentioned how trust seems to be a big part on me forming and maintaining relationships. I mentioned how it takes alot to open up to others and trust people with things that are happening with me. Due to this trust issue I never learnt to properly regulate my emotions because they were never validated. He asked how I dealt with emotions and I said i supress and bottle them up which is exhausting. I was asked if I remember how I dealt with or what emotions I had in childhood (I can't remember just what other said - me being bubbly, happy and smiley).
Then comes the treatment options - both im not too keen on but i spoke about that anyways.
So i can either have DBT where it's on a 24 week rolling schedule of emotional regulation, mindfulness, some other stuff but I can't remember just that there's alot of 2 week mindfulness blocks. With this its would have an hours sessionn with a therapist individually and a 2 hour online group session weekly as well.
If i miss 4 group session or 4 individual session theb treatment stops.
Then the other is CAT - not much was spoken about that but it would look at my relationships
So after I had my assessment the therpaist took my case to their MDT meeting to see what they could offer me.
At about 3:20pm I received a call from them therapist with the decided outcome of the assessment.
So i have been but on their DBT waitlist which is 6months to a year long. Because their is an extensive waitlist he mentioned how I will receive wellbeing calls about every 6 weeks or so just to see how things are.
It was mentioned how yes the waitlist is close to a year long there could be a chance to be seen earlier around 6 months. But not to get hopes up just to think about the waitlist being a year long
Do yeah that's that.
Despite this I still contacted SHOUT at about 4pm who were no help so yeah waiting a year will be fun
firstly, i am so so proud of you for attending the assessment! how are you feeling now since its been a few days since?
it sounds like such an intense and emotionally draining assessment, and i really want to acknowledge how much strength it took for you to go through that and be as open as you were - that is not easy, especially when it means digging into things youâve kept bottled up for so long.
iâm sorry the outcome is a year long wait, that feels like forever, especially when youâre struggling and need support now - i know it is dependent on where you live etc but i was told in after an assessment in september 2024 i would have to wait approximately 3.5 years before i would see a psychologist, that felt like a lifetime away for sure, but in november 2024 i ended up getting a letter telling me to book my first session - i know it doesnât work out that way all the time, but there is a little tiny chance it might be sooner! it is so frustrating when youâve done everything right, showed up, opened up, gave them all the hard truths, and the system still makes you wait. i hope the wellbeing calls do bring some form of check-in comfort, even if itâs not what you truly need. how are you feeling about the idea of dbt? if youâre comfy sharing of course.
itâs totally understandable that you reached out to shout after all that, even if they werenât helpful, you were trying to take care of yourself in that moment, and that matters. i am proud of you for reaching out at all - i hope youâre proud of yourself too!
youâve got this, i believe in you
Im feeling slightly better, still just riding the roller coaster of life đ˘. Everyone that ive spoken to or mentioned too are pleased that im getting that part of me figured out, they are aware bit shocked of the waiting time, but those at work are being supportive and checking in with me right now.
Yeah it is a shame on the waiting time but I thinks it's down to that CEDT work with various mental health issues - like they dont just focus on one area; not like the eating disorder team I saw.
I was told to keep in mind that - yes the waitlist is a year long it has been known for people to be seen after 6 months, so I guess that's something.
Fingers crossed the wellbeing calls go okay, I just dont want to be repeating the same things each time or lying to them because im scared to really tell them out of fear of invalidation (my therapist basically did this during our calls/sessions at the time)
Im unsure how i feel about DBT. Like theyve said that's the better option if I didnt find CBT too helpful. The only thing I'm not liking is the whole idea of group therapy sessions for 2hrs a week. I have mentioned how I dont like group and will hide in the background so idk what's going to happen at that point.
Tbh I'm just scared it's going to be the same experience as CBT and im just going to not think it's helping (but make out like it is helping), then I'm also anxious about if it's going to be face-to-face individual therapy - i feel if it's face-to-face its going to give more anxiety because they pick up more on my body language but also im not sure where it would be too as their address is basically in the middle of nowhere. They also haven't said anything about if they think "i'm at risk" ect so I kinda what to clarify that this time round in therapy. There is also the fact ive been told it is almost a year long treatment plan- which kinda terrifies me and the whole process of if I miss any sessions (because I use to just phone my ED therapist saying I wasnt well just so I didnt have to go to the session).
The only possitve I have that kinda relieves the anxiety is that i have been given a breif outline of what it's going to look like: in the sense of how long, the topics, plan etc.
I guess i was "looking after" myself by contacting Shout but I just feel like i shouldn't have becuase i felt like I wasted their time. Then the fact they found out I had my assessment and they couldn't careless they wanted to get rid of me. Like I didn't even confirm I felt safe/okay before they ended the chat nor did we really do a plan of safety (because i had the necessary resources and contacted them too much essentially). But yeah not going to say anything else about Shout - everyone had different experiences.
Thank you for your response and your belief in me â¤ď¸ i truely appreciate it
You mentioned how the assessor look time to explore your feelings leading up to the assessment, spoke with you about your family dynamics, and explored your relationships and the theme of trust too. I hear also that they asked about your experience with suicidal feelings and self-harm, and during this part of the appointment you could feel yourself starting to withdraw and become fidgetty. That is so valid, Lottie, and it sounds hard.
I see that the assessor then let you know that the team had felt a 24 week course of DBT may be helpful, including 1:1 and group therapy, as well as wellbeing checks each 6 weeks. It sounds really reassuring to have recieved some information about exactly what this course will cover and to get an outline, because I can imagine it feeling really daunting not to know. Waiting between 6 months to a year also sounds really tough, and I wanted to ask whether you know when you'll recieve the first wellbeing call, or whether that's maybe taken place?
I hear how you have some mixed feelings about DBT (esspecially after CBT which felt unhelpful for you), and particularly the group-work aspects. Again, that is so valid, Lottie, and I can imagine its really tough when you're in this place of limbo right now waiting. You've been doing so well to be talking about this and to open up to your assessor as you did. I can imagine that might not have felt easy at all. What kinds of questions would you say you have about how DBT at this stage?
If helpful, I'll share below a few resources around DBT here:
https://www.humber.nhs.uk/media/5zmdkv0q/mind-dbt-leaflet.pdf
https://www.mind.org.uk/media/6816/dbt-2020-pdf-version.pdf
How have things been feeling more lately day-to-day? We're here and we're listening if you'd like to share.
I haven't been doing great at all over the last few weeks but hayho I'm â¨ď¸Thriving â¨ď¸đŤ
Yeah leading up to it it was alot of anxiety just coz it was different to all the rest of the assessments I've had. Just going and finding a private space I could have the assessment in was enough to worry about.
yeah he did breifly look at the feelings leading up to the assessment. We focused on my general feelings and what I feel, as well as my relationships particularly the trust part. I did start to withdraw at that point when he wanted to talk about the recentness of each of these things, good thing was we didn't talk too much about it.
Yeah so it would be 48 weeks in total on a 24 week rolling schedule with the wellbeing checks happening every 6 weeks till I get the support of therapy etc.
The first wellbeing call hasn't happened yet if it's from when my assessment was it would be expected the 1st week of June but idk.
I dint have any questions about DBT yet.
well day to day is very hit and miss. But majority of the time has been a struggle as of lately but that doesnt matter