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CEDT assessment 😬
Lottie5433
Posts: 742 Part of The Mix Family
I have my assessment online with the complex emotional difficulties team (CEDT) today at 10am and I'm bricking it.
I've not slept a huge deal as I was in a mini crisis last night but also I was just panicking about it so much as I don't know what to expect and no one has been able to tell me what to expect.
I worrying about where I do this as my sister and parents are home so I feel I can't do it there, mainly because a share a room with my sister. I spoke to my GM about doing it at work at the leisure complex whilst it's shut then going straight into deep cleaning up there but I don't know if she's going to let me.
So now im worrying about this and in the edge of crying and just emailing/phoning them to tell them I can't do it anymore and cancelling it.
Currently just in the gym trying to distract myself but its not helping 🙃
I fucking hate this feeling
I've not slept a huge deal as I was in a mini crisis last night but also I was just panicking about it so much as I don't know what to expect and no one has been able to tell me what to expect.
I worrying about where I do this as my sister and parents are home so I feel I can't do it there, mainly because a share a room with my sister. I spoke to my GM about doing it at work at the leisure complex whilst it's shut then going straight into deep cleaning up there but I don't know if she's going to let me.
So now im worrying about this and in the edge of crying and just emailing/phoning them to tell them I can't do it anymore and cancelling it.
Currently just in the gym trying to distract myself but its not helping 🙃
I fucking hate this feeling
4
Comments
i really am so so proud of you for even getting to this point, it takes so much strength just to show up for something like this, even when you’re bricking it. it totally makes sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed, especially with how little sleep you’ve had and all the uncertainty around the assessment. not knowing what to expect can make anxiety spiral, and you’ve been carrying a lot already!
please don’t be too hard on yourself for feeling this way. you are not at all weak for being scared, you’re actually really brave for considering going through with it even with all this going on.
is there any way you can message your gm again just to check in about using the leisure complex? and if it isn’t possible, do you have any alternative places to use?
please don’t cancel because of panic though - the assessment is there to help you, and even if it feels intense, it could be a step toward things getting a little easier down the line. you deserve support and you deserve to be heard!
you’ve got this, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now
I just keep going into a spiral and into a state of panic about it. Like every time my phone get a notification I'm scared to look at it, or when the phone rings just incase it's them moving the assessment forwards or better cancelling it.
My GM phoned me today to ask where a key was for the leisure complex but I don't think I could go there now because we are having something fix - steam room tiles? I'm not sure. So it will be awkward if builders are walking in and out.
The only other place is my brothers room as he's at school or going to work and potentially doing it upstairs in the cafe (we don't use that and only staff are allowed)
Thank you again
Your showing immense strength and I hope this goes well for you. I can hear how scared yiu are feeling anoit this and how drained it's made you feel.
Remember in a way with it being virtual uoy in control, you can use fidgets to help you manage emotions and cam step away easier than face to face. Also you cannot see them.as such so that can sometimes make it easier.
Thank you for the message I appreciate it ❤️
I did have my fidgets with me which helped a little bit.