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Keeping going
Redemption
Posts: 3,749 Community Veteran
I know I’ve been repeating myself, but it’s been really hard not to dwell on everything. Over the past year, I’ve been stuck in the same place, trying to move forward but struggling to make progress. Before joining this community, I felt incredibly alone, and even though I’ve still had difficult moments since, having support just a few clicks away on my phone has made a massive difference. It has been a lifeline, whether it’s talking about my struggles or just sharing interests like cars, watches, and YouTube. The thought of leaving here one day is scary because I don’t know if I’ll find the same level of support elsewhere. I’ll always remember this place, and hopefully, I’ll be remembered too, but I know I won’t have the same kind of backup when I leave.
Right now, I’m keeping at it. I’m still applying for jobs, waiting to hear back on a couple of things, and continuing with volunteering. It’s okay, but not being able to go on tills anymore was a setback, and with other things not going to plan, it made me question if I can do anything right. It’s also frustrating not getting paid. I should be in paid work by now, and going to volunteering every Monday isn’t exactly exciting, especially since Mondays are already the worst day of the week for most people. Life moves fast, and it feels like society expects everyone to have things figured out by a certain time, which adds a lot of pressure. Social media doesn’t help either. There’s so much negativity, and sometimes I think about deleting it. But I use it to talk to people, so I keep it. The thing is, I don’t make any money from it, so it feels kind of pointless, just numbers on a screen. If I ever deleted it, I’d probably only keep WhatsApp.
All I want is to move forward, but it has been really hard. I know it will be worth it in the end, but there have been so many low points. I’ve had times when I’ve felt completely alone and hopeless. I’ve had tears, moments of feeling like everything is against me, and just negativity in my life as a whole, especially in the past few years. And on top of that, some people keep pushing me about getting a job, like I’m not already trying my hardest. Most people understand, but some don’t, and it’s frustrating because talking about my situation is already a sensitive topic for me. I’ve been struggling for so, so long, and sometimes I just wonder if it will ever get better. I just really hope that by the time I leave this community, I’ll be in the place I want to be, with a job, some savings, maybe even a newer car and a relationship. I’m trying to stay hopeful, but sometimes, with the way things have been going, I do doubt myself. It’s so easy to dwell on the negatives, but I have to keep pushing forward. I'm so sorry for being repeating myself if its getting fustrating, it's just the same feelings I have felt long term, you all do help though.
Right now, I’m keeping at it. I’m still applying for jobs, waiting to hear back on a couple of things, and continuing with volunteering. It’s okay, but not being able to go on tills anymore was a setback, and with other things not going to plan, it made me question if I can do anything right. It’s also frustrating not getting paid. I should be in paid work by now, and going to volunteering every Monday isn’t exactly exciting, especially since Mondays are already the worst day of the week for most people. Life moves fast, and it feels like society expects everyone to have things figured out by a certain time, which adds a lot of pressure. Social media doesn’t help either. There’s so much negativity, and sometimes I think about deleting it. But I use it to talk to people, so I keep it. The thing is, I don’t make any money from it, so it feels kind of pointless, just numbers on a screen. If I ever deleted it, I’d probably only keep WhatsApp.
All I want is to move forward, but it has been really hard. I know it will be worth it in the end, but there have been so many low points. I’ve had times when I’ve felt completely alone and hopeless. I’ve had tears, moments of feeling like everything is against me, and just negativity in my life as a whole, especially in the past few years. And on top of that, some people keep pushing me about getting a job, like I’m not already trying my hardest. Most people understand, but some don’t, and it’s frustrating because talking about my situation is already a sensitive topic for me. I’ve been struggling for so, so long, and sometimes I just wonder if it will ever get better. I just really hope that by the time I leave this community, I’ll be in the place I want to be, with a job, some savings, maybe even a newer car and a relationship. I’m trying to stay hopeful, but sometimes, with the way things have been going, I do doubt myself. It’s so easy to dwell on the negatives, but I have to keep pushing forward. I'm so sorry for being repeating myself if its getting fustrating, it's just the same feelings I have felt long term, you all do help though.
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Comments
How are you doing? Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
I just wanted to share that there is no need to apologies for repeating yourself. Your feelings are valid and we are here to listen to you and support you.
I'm understanding that you are feeling a lot of pressure from yourself, from others and from society as a whole, about where you are and should be, particularly in terms of employment. It can feel really overwhelming and stressful to have all these expectations on yourself, so how you are feeling is valid. It sounds as though you are still moving forward, and you are still motivating yourself - which you should be SO proud of. Those little steps are going to add up. You're right to say that is easy to dwell on the negatives but you're pushing through - which is really amazing. We are proud of you.
I understand it feels daunting for you to leave this community. This makes sense, and you won't be forgotten! I'm wondering if we can explore a little more on how you feel around this at the moment, and maybe what your concerns are around finding support outside of this space when you leave?
We are all here to support you @Redemption !
Take care,
Lily & The Mix Team
Hey @Lily I have not met you before thanks so much. Im looking forward to seeing you round. Your reply really means a lot to me. It’s been a tough time, but your kind words and support help me feel less alone. I’m trying to keep going, and hearing that it’s okay to take small steps means a lot. Cheers Lily.