tw// suicidal thoughts.

Comments

• toffuna101 Posts: 2,225 Boards Champion

  April 4

  i care @struggling0_0 please dont give up. youre strong and im sure that everyone else cares about you on the mix too. you can pm me if you ever need anything.

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• struggling0_0 Posts: 196 Trailblazer

  April 4

  thank you @toffuna101 but it’s simply not true that people here care about me.

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• Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 999 Part of The Mix Family

  April 4

  Hi @struggling0_0 , thank you so much for making this post, and I can hear just how overwhelming everything is feeling right now, and how isolating too.
  
  I hear that physically you are safe and have no plans to harm yourself, and thank you for confirming this. And at the same time, I recognise that doesn't take away from us how awful things feel emotionally right now, esspecially having no one to talk to and feeling so uncared for. That sounds extreamly painful, and a huge amount for you to then carry on your own.
  
  You mentioned losing interest in everything, and I wondered if you'd feel comfortable sharing more about this? I also wondered what you mean when you say that a part of you just doesn't want to be here anymore? What would you say it is that you most wish to get away from?
  
  We're here, we're listening. We do not wish to turn away from you. Thank you so much for your honesty.

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• struggling0_0 Posts: 196 Trailblazer

  April 4

  thank you @Sian321 i lost interest in everything a longgg time ago. i just simply don’t want to be alive anymore. tried to see if doctors would review the medication as i feel sm worse but ofc i just got told after having to wait for hours n hours to call back next week. i run out of the medication on like sunday anyways but i dont care anymore, i dont want it. i shouldn’t have to beg doctors to review medication that should be reviewed every 3 months. i promise im safe.

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• Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 999 Part of The Mix Family

  April 4 edited April 4

  Hi @struggling0_0 , thank you for your post, and it really does sound like being alive is feeling extreamly hard right now, esspecially with having to advocate for your needs over and over like this.
  
  It feels so powerful that did call up the doctors and that you're noticing that you're feeling worse and you're trying your very best to get some help for yourself. I am mindful that stopping medication suddenly can also come with risks sometimes, and I wondered if your GP has an out-of-hours or emergency number that you could try?
  
  Thank you again for confirming you're safe. We hear you and believe you and your comments are confidential. Again, however, I appreciate that being physically safe doesn't take away from just how heavy this is right now. It sounds like you've been feeling hopeless. And that can be really frightening.
  
  You deserve to be listened to by your doctors, and to be able to have a sense of control over the healthcare and medications you're receiveing. Did they tell you a specific date or time to call back?

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• struggling0_0 Posts: 196 Trailblazer

  April 4

  @Sian321 i know that stopping medication suddenly can come with risks. i’ve tried so hard to put up with it but it’s really not helping and doctors are useless and never ever review it. i’ve been on it for 11 months now and it’s been reviewed once. i was asking for 2-3 months for it to be reviewed too before they bothered. as for out of hours, they won’t do nothing. you sit and wait 7+ hours for a call back from a nurse who tells you just book a gp appointment.
  
  i just have to call them back next week and fight the battle for a gp appointment. it takes 200+ attempts to even get through and by the time your call is answered all the appointments are gone, or else they answer after 10:30am when it moves to emergency only. i’m in classes and working everyday between now & 17th april so i have no time to even call them next week as im in a class / work when they’re open and i can’t sit on the phone in a queue for 2+ hours.

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