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Feeling alone
TheNightmare
Posts: 3,361 Boards Guru
I was going to talk about this on the chat thread but its rescheduled, I wanted to vent a bit today. I often feel a bit lonely, even though I have people in my life. My struggles, especially being at home during the day while searching for work, make me feel isolated and bored. I engage in online support communities in the evenings, which provide a place to talk about both my interests and challenges, but I still feel disconnected. I wake up early, around 6:30 or 7:00 AM, not because I have somewhere to go, but because I feel overwhelmed. It’s been difficult living like this long term, and even short term, the job search has been tough. I know many people go through similar struggles, whether looking for work part time, full time, or as students, but the issue is that my job search has lasted a long time, with setbacks along the way.
This has affected my self-confidence, making it a constant battle to feel positive. Even when I do make progress, uncertainty and repeated disappointments make it hard to stay motivated. I feel like I’m missing out on my prime years, which is why I want to get my life sorted and have some stability. Life can be challenging for everyone, with varying circumstances, but sometimes I feel like my journey is slower than most. I tend to dwell on the past, adding to my stress, but I’m trying to move forward and focus on improving.
This has affected my self-confidence, making it a constant battle to feel positive. Even when I do make progress, uncertainty and repeated disappointments make it hard to stay motivated. I feel like I’m missing out on my prime years, which is why I want to get my life sorted and have some stability. Life can be challenging for everyone, with varying circumstances, but sometimes I feel like my journey is slower than most. I tend to dwell on the past, adding to my stress, but I’m trying to move forward and focus on improving.
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Comments
I can imagine it must be hard to stay motivated and positive when the setbacks keep stacking up, even though you’re clearly putting in the effort. It’s tough when progress feels slow or uncertain, especially when you feel like time is slipping away, and you want to feel more settled and stable. You’re not alone in facing this kind of challenge, and it’s okay to feel frustrated by it. It’s a difficult journey, and the struggle to maintain self-confidence while waiting for things to click is real and exhausting.
It’s also totally natural to look back on the past and wonder about the "what-ifs" or feel like you’ve fallen behind, but please remember that your journey is your own. It’s easy to get caught in comparing your path to others, but there’s no one-size-fits-all timeline. The fact that you’re actively seeking ways to improve and move forward already shows that you’re resilient, even when it doesn’t feel like it. The search for stability can feel so elusive, but every step you take, even if small, is part of that process of getting where you want to be.
I think it's great that you're seeking out online support communities to help you connect with others who understand your experience. But I get why, despite that, it still doesn’t feel like enough. When you’re going through something this challenging, it can still feel isolating even with people around, because no one can fully understand exactly what you’re feeling.
It might help to remind yourself that you’re doing your best in a really tough situation, and being kind to yourself through this process is just as important as the external steps you're taking. You deserve that kindness, especially when you’re feeling down or uncertain.
Hey @Orchid059 sorry for the late response. Thanks for this, it really means a lot. You’ve summed up exactly how I feel. It’s frustrating putting in the effort and still feeling stuck, like I’m falling behind while everyone else moves forward. I know I shouldn’t compare, but it’s hard when I just want stability and nothing seems to work out. Setbacks make it harder to stay positive and that’s probably why I dwell on the past so much. I appreciate the support and the reminder to be kinder to myself. I’ll try even though it’s not always easy. Thanks again, I really do appreciate it.
i hear you. that sounds like such a tough cycle to be stuck in, and i completely understand why you’re feeling this way. even when you have people around, loneliness can still creep in, especially when you’re spending so much time at home and dealing with the stress of job searching. it is exhausting, and when it drags on longer than expected, it’s easy to start feeling stuck or like you’re falling behind.
i just want to remind you that your worth isn’t measured by how quickly you find a job or how “sorted” your life feels right now. i know it’s hard not to compare your journey to others, but everyone moves at their own pace, and setbacks don’t mean failure. they just mean you’re still in the process of getting to where you’re meant to be.
if it helps to know, although i have been working since i was 17 in the industry i wanted to get into, i still don’t have any qualifications higher than my gcse’s, that makes me feel behind, all the people i went to school with are in their final year of uni now qualifying as nurses and everything, while i am still at college trying to get my a-levels! but then i remember, thats ok, my journey is my journey and it doesn’t have to look the same as anybody else’s - i’m at college now and think that it’s maybe even a good thing in some ways as i have allowed myself to realise what was once my dream, it’s now not so im now actually studying the course that i want to do in an area i wouldn’t have ever considered before - so maybe everything happens for a reason?
it is really great that you’re trying to move forward and focus on improving, even when it’s hard. that says a lot about your strength! and even though it might not feel like it right now, you are making progress, just by continuing to show up and push through.
you’re never as alone in this as it might seem, we are all here for you! you’ve got this, i believe in you
@shannon_164 Like every singe one of your replies this means so much, really. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the time and thought you put into your words. It’s like you just know exactly what to say to make things feel a little lighter. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, I think about it myself or at least most things do, even when it’s hard to see in the moment. Your own journey proves that sometimes what feels like a setback is actually just a redirection to something even better. Hearing how you’ve embraced your path and made peace with where you are now is genuinely inspiring. It’s a reminder that things don’t have to go according to plan to still work out in the best way. I’m really going to hold onto that. And honestly, having someone like you believe in me, on top of that the whole of this community, it means more than you know. I wish you the best of luck too and I'm sure you'll do well.