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Don't want to go to my role on Monday
Redemption
Posts: 3,440 Boards Guru
I don't want to go to my volunteering role on Monday. I've been feeling demotivated with it lately, especially because I’ve been trying to push myself to go, but it’s been tough. I feel like I’m expected to do more, but I’m struggling to even manage a couple of hours. They’ve told me I’m not suitable for the tills after only two attempts, and I just feel let down by that. I know I could have improved if I had more chances, but they didn’t give me that opportunity. It’s frustrating because I was really hoping to gain that experience. I’m still willing to do other tasks, but it’s just not what I wanted. It’s not that my motivation is low, but I’m starting to feel a bit stuck and uncertain about whether I want to keep going with it. I feel like I should go, but I just don’t know if I can keep pushing myself for something that doesn’t feel right.
I know I should be in paid employment, and that’s where I want to be soon. But sometimes, I just feel like things aren’t moving fast enough. Like college wasn’t ideal, then I did other things that didn’t quite work out, and now this volunteering role isn’t ideal either. On top of that, I’ve faced job rejections. I’ve had a few interviews, which is good, but I’m still not where I want to be. I’ve been trying to get into work for a while now, and I do think it’s realistic to get paid employment soon. But when I look at how long it’s taking, it can make me doubt myself. It’s hard not to compare myself to others, and sometimes I feel behind. Not literally everyone is getting paid, but it feels like everyone else is moving forward while I’m stuck.
I think with paid work, I know it will be more structured, with more days and more responsibility, and that’s exactly what I want. The added bonus is that I’ll be paid, which I’m really looking forward to. But right now, it’s hard because I don’t have that, and it’s exactly what I was worried about when volunteering was suggested to me. I pushed myself to volunteer to get closer to paid work, but it’s just not quite what I imagined. Still, I do feel more hopeful now. There was a time when I wasn’t ready for work, mainly because of my confidence, but I really think that’s behind me now. I feel ready for the next step. A lot of my self-confidence has come from this community all the kind comments, no judgment, just amazing support, and that’s been huge for me. There are also potential opportunities, which help keep me hopeful. Getting that paid job that works for me is what I’m aiming for, and that will keep me motivated and in a good place mentally. Right now, I’m just overwhelmed, despite the support, but I do want to move forward. I’m just not 100 percent just yet. I'm sorry to keep posting this repetitive shit. I do truly appreciate everything though for sure.
I know I should be in paid employment, and that’s where I want to be soon. But sometimes, I just feel like things aren’t moving fast enough. Like college wasn’t ideal, then I did other things that didn’t quite work out, and now this volunteering role isn’t ideal either. On top of that, I’ve faced job rejections. I’ve had a few interviews, which is good, but I’m still not where I want to be. I’ve been trying to get into work for a while now, and I do think it’s realistic to get paid employment soon. But when I look at how long it’s taking, it can make me doubt myself. It’s hard not to compare myself to others, and sometimes I feel behind. Not literally everyone is getting paid, but it feels like everyone else is moving forward while I’m stuck.
I think with paid work, I know it will be more structured, with more days and more responsibility, and that’s exactly what I want. The added bonus is that I’ll be paid, which I’m really looking forward to. But right now, it’s hard because I don’t have that, and it’s exactly what I was worried about when volunteering was suggested to me. I pushed myself to volunteer to get closer to paid work, but it’s just not quite what I imagined. Still, I do feel more hopeful now. There was a time when I wasn’t ready for work, mainly because of my confidence, but I really think that’s behind me now. I feel ready for the next step. A lot of my self-confidence has come from this community all the kind comments, no judgment, just amazing support, and that’s been huge for me. There are also potential opportunities, which help keep me hopeful. Getting that paid job that works for me is what I’m aiming for, and that will keep me motivated and in a good place mentally. Right now, I’m just overwhelmed, despite the support, but I do want to move forward. I’m just not 100 percent just yet. I'm sorry to keep posting this repetitive shit. I do truly appreciate everything though for sure.
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Comments
Other than this issue are you enjoying the volunteering role, place? Thr soul thing you need for volunteer is enjoyment and if uoy not enjoying your not going to feel motivated to go. For me volunteering really helped though saying that really struggled today but I ended up messaging them saying can a supervisor call me. Anyway... do you think you can speak to thrm? Volunteering places should be accomdating abd understand it's takes time to learn things.
you don’t need to apologise at all - if you gotta talk about it then you gotta talk about it and that is ok!!!! you’re figuring things out, and that’s a process, not a straight line. i can really hear how much effort you’re putting in, even when it doesn’t feel like things are moving as fast as you’d like. that takes a lot of resilience, and i hope you give yourself credit for that.
i totally get why you’re feeling stuck with the volunteering role. it’s frustrating when you don’t get the chance to improve at something, especially when you were hoping to gain experience from it. it makes sense that you’re questioning whether it’s worth pushing yourself when it’s not giving you what you need. you’re allowed to reassess and decide if it’s actually helping you move forward or just draining you.
it’s also completely valid to feel like things aren’t happening quickly enough, but i really believe you’re on the right track. the fact that you’re getting interviews shows that employers see potential in you. i know rejections suck, but they don’t mean you won’t get there, it just means you haven’t found the right fit yet. it’s hard not to compare, but your journey is yours, and you’re making progress, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
i really believe you’ll get that paid job that works for you, and when you do, all the effort you’ve put in will make sense. until then, just be kind to yourself. it’s ok to not have everything figured out right this second, and whatever you decide about the volunteering role, it doesn’t define your future, you do.
you’ve got this, i believe in you
That's a bit scary being 5 years out of stable employment, I hope you get something more stable soon. Tbh other than the issue I find the volunteering a bit boring. I'm doing it more for experience, didn't think I would enjoy it, though maybe I could meet some friends but not really. I can speak to them too maybe to ask to give more tasks or maybe I could try to sort something else out at a different place tbh, I'm a bit let down from the till thing tbh and found it boring anyway.
Hey @shannon_164 Thank you so much for your kind words and being amazing as always. They really mean a lot to me right now. It's been tough feeling like things aren't moving as quickly as I'd like, but hearing your perspective helps me see that I’m making progress, even if it's not always obvious. I’ll definitely try to give myself more credit for the effort I’m putting in. It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone in this and that things will eventually fall into place. I appreciate your belief in me it gives me a little extra boost to keep going. Thank you again for always being so supportive.