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I’m very likely wrong about having BPD and I’m sorry.
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Comments
you don’t need to apologise for any of this. you’re trying to figure things out, and that’s completely valid. it sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot for a long time, mostly on your own, and that’s incredibly tough. whether or not a specific label fits, your feelings and struggles are real, and they matter.
i know you said you don’t see yourself as having trauma, but being bullied, feeling isolated, and having your struggles dismissed by family, those are painful experiences that leave a mark. you don’t have to compare what you’ve been through to others to validate your own pain. it’s enough that it hurt you.
i really hope therapy helps you find the answers and support you deserve. you’re not a horrible person, even if your mind tells you that sometimes. i know it’s hard to believe anything different, but i promise you, you’re not unlovable or worthless. you’re just someone trying to navigate really difficult emotions, and that doesn’t make you bad, it makes you human.
you’re not alone in this, and i’m really glad you’re still looking for answers instead of giving up on yourself. you deserve understanding and support, and i hope you keep reaching out.
you’ve got this, i believe in you