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(TW self harm) How can I prevent myself from relapsing?
bignosegirly0
Posts: 173 Helping Hand
People usually say that the best option is to identify your triggers and avoid them. But I literally can’t. Because my trigger is coworkers. My trigger is people in general who act like total pricks just because I’m not an attractive woman.
Usually when working on Saturdays and Sundays, I get two customers who happens to be friends with a coworker who used to harass me both at work and college. And now he’s got both of them to come for my ass since they can get away with it as customers. This is something I can’t avoid.
There’s been times where I would relapse because of them. And I’m worried it will happen again. And I can’t reach out to a manager, because they’ll have to call my family, whom aren’t great in regards to supporting me for my issues with self harm. Instead, they just yell at me, call me selfish, spoilt, etc. so I’m practically alone in this situation.
How can I prevent myself from relapsing when people are horrible to me?
Usually when working on Saturdays and Sundays, I get two customers who happens to be friends with a coworker who used to harass me both at work and college. And now he’s got both of them to come for my ass since they can get away with it as customers. This is something I can’t avoid.
There’s been times where I would relapse because of them. And I’m worried it will happen again. And I can’t reach out to a manager, because they’ll have to call my family, whom aren’t great in regards to supporting me for my issues with self harm. Instead, they just yell at me, call me selfish, spoilt, etc. so I’m practically alone in this situation.
How can I prevent myself from relapsing when people are horrible to me?
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Comments
i’m really sorry you’re feeling this way, and i hate that you’re stuck in such a difficult situation with no real escape. it’s incredibly unfair that you have to deal with harassment not just from coworkers but from customers too, and i can completely understand why that would make you feel so trapped. when your trigger is people, especially in a work environment, it’s not something you can just “avoid” like others might suggest. that advice doesn’t really apply when your daily reality is the problem.
the fact that these guys are deliberately targeting you just because they can get away with it is disgusting, and i really wish management would take it seriously instead of leaving you to deal with it alone, and i get why you don’t feel like you can go to them, especially if it would just involve your family, who don’t offer you the support you need. that’s not fair, and it must make everything feel even more isolating.
i won’t pretend there’s an easy solution because this situation is beyond unfair, but if avoiding the trigger isn’t possible, the focus has to be on finding ways to cope in the moment so it doesn’t push you toward relapsing. since talking to your manager isn’t an option, maybe you could find small ways to create distance from these guys when they come in, whether that’s stepping away to another part of the store, asking a coworker (even if you don’t like them) to handle them instead, or even just putting in earbuds on breaks so you can mentally check out? i know none of this actually fixes the problem, but any small way you can create even a tiny bit of control might help. i’ve also added some self harm specific helplines too in case they are helpful for you:
https://harmless.org.uk/
self injury support: https://www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk/
national self harm network:
https://www.nshn.co.uk/
recover your life:
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/
rightlines:
https://rightlinesuk.org/
beyond that, i think the most important thing is to have a plan for when you feel overwhelmed. when you feel that urge creeping in, is there anything that helps ground you? whether it’s squeezing something, stepping outside for air, or even just having a specific song or video that helps shift your focus? anything that interrupts the spiral might make a difference. even if it doesn’t fix everything, getting it out might relieve some of the pressure.
i also just want to remind you that you’re not alone, even if it feels like it right now. i know your family isn’t supportive, but im here, and i care about you. you deserve so much better than this, and i really hope that job interview comes through soon so you can get away from this toxic environment.
you’ve got this
I’ve still got three hours left on my shift. So I’m praying I don’t encounter them 🙏
im so proud of you
How are you taking care of yourself this evening and decompressing after your shift?
Generally speaking, I struggle with emotional regulation. My mindset is very extreme and it’s often difficult to snap out my episode.
A few posts ago, I mentioned being on a waiting list to receive therapy. A part of me wonders whether I suffer from petulant BPD. I haven’t got a diagnosis, but I feel I relate to a lot of the symptoms.
So while I wait to receive therapy, I want to see if I could do research on how to help myself.
of course ill check in with you again later today as i do rly care abt you and always will do bc you matter so much
But my next challenges is to deal with future episodes where I either feel extremely low and unlovable, or extremely bitter and irritable. Sometimes, these episodes don’t have a trigger and start as soon as I wake up. I’m hoping to do more research on how to cope.
if your ever struggling you can always make a post on here and ill support you.
ill also check in with you throughout the day if you need anything just tag me.