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Dont want to go work- autism/ lunch food
Invisible_me
Posts: 287 The Mix Regular
Hello so currently I have quite a few 0hr contract jobs etc but whst I want to talk about today is, I work for a mental health place, face to face role byt all wok from a large community room currently 1 day a week. Shifts are 8hrs, 30min lunch break.
Have autism as above.
I was looking forward to this but im I'm not to sure I'm finding it very long, tiring (you spend more time on a tablet doing admin than sessions.). Get headaches, struggle witg the background noise and 'being still'.
I so don't want to go tomorrow:
- all the bove plus..
- supervision face to face (who is opposite gender to me)and I don't feel comfortable with that at all! His aware of my autism but feel like he now "looks ar me differently ", I feel uncomfortable.
- food- I hsvr massive sensory issue's surrounded food so taking eating lunch is a mission. Found a 'safe linch ', only to realise today the hot cross buns went bad now what sm I goibg to have. I cabt cope with any other bread- too soft, trird toasting it no. How am i going to c get through a 8hr shift on just a packet of raisins my other safe food for lunch!
Also Previous shifts I've ended up havibg a sensory ocerwwhrlm in front if others. Ladt week I was doing certain things perhaps without realising to calm me down but everytine it was " is that you" (then) " oh sorry " ( me) ×3. I was like tapping, rocking thrn dunno what else and how do I control that.??
Have autism as above.
I was looking forward to this but im I'm not to sure I'm finding it very long, tiring (you spend more time on a tablet doing admin than sessions.). Get headaches, struggle witg the background noise and 'being still'.
I so don't want to go tomorrow:
- all the bove plus..
- supervision face to face (who is opposite gender to me)and I don't feel comfortable with that at all! His aware of my autism but feel like he now "looks ar me differently ", I feel uncomfortable.
- food- I hsvr massive sensory issue's surrounded food so taking eating lunch is a mission. Found a 'safe linch ', only to realise today the hot cross buns went bad now what sm I goibg to have. I cabt cope with any other bread- too soft, trird toasting it no. How am i going to c get through a 8hr shift on just a packet of raisins my other safe food for lunch!
Also Previous shifts I've ended up havibg a sensory ocerwwhrlm in front if others. Ladt week I was doing certain things perhaps without realising to calm me down but everytine it was " is that you" (then) " oh sorry " ( me) ×3. I was like tapping, rocking thrn dunno what else and how do I control that.??
Previous related threads on this section of board.,reasonable adjustments
5
Comments
It sounds like your role at the mental health centre can feel extreamly overwhelming somedays, and I can imagine it being so hard to feel uncomfortable with your supervisor, and unsafe with the food options around lunchtime. From what you've described, the shifts seem very long too, and it makes sense that you might get restless or stim by rocking or tapping. How did it make you feel when your colleagues noticed this?
You mentioned too that you have been talking with your workplace about possible reasonable adjustments - is that right? What might ideally help your working environment to feel safer and easier to navigate for you?
I really hear just how tiring these days can feel - I can imagine when you get home afterwards you might feel really exhausted. I wonder what taking care of yourself both before and after your shifts looks like? What feels within your control?
Keep us updated if you wish to, and we're here
Thank you! I jbow but ive had enough all the time.
With her music his aware he says for me to be furthest away from it and he'll let thr other leaders know. Well the further desks get taken. Other leaders act as if they dont know so...
What else can thry do?
I cany cope with headphones or earplugs or anything!!
Hi @Sian321 ,
Thanks for reply! I'm exhausted your right! Physically and mentally my head doesn't switch off from how uncomfortable I felt.
It started off okay, was doing a rhymetic activity sorting oyt folder.
I don't like it when others notice.and comment on it thst way it makes me feel exposed, vulnerable.
I had a supervision with me, for several hours before my head was how am u going to sit in a room with a supervisor of other gender in my own. Just buried myself in the corner moved my chair away and wrapped my massive scarf all around my body.
He done yhe normal supervision bits. He asked about reasonable adjustments but like his asking me to thibk if them, I said other places they suggest it themselves but he still didn't seem to get the gist of you just name some..
Adjustments round ensuring music low or away from me, a bavk desk free, extra breaks, pre notice.
Throughout though he was like ",you okay,",..
"you seem a million miles away today" , I judy said yeah, sorry (could be because I made no eye contact with him).I was like messing with a bobble quite visibly. He kept asking if I was okay you seem very nervous, I just said well aren't I always and tried to laugh it off but he was like yeah but you seem more so today. And he did ask at the end if there was anything I wanted to say, discuss but just said no and he was like you sure 100%. But I was literally thay close to bursting in tears but I trued to just hold it in because I'm not cry in front of someone I don't knoe or off another gender. I guess in a way this shows his a bit aware and perhaps could tell.
I did say the fact i came in todau is an achievement in itself, i didn'twant to come in (didny say why) i think he said " wrll well done i guess"...right at tbf very end after he said you 100%, sure. He said if there is anything then just let me know and i said well I'm no good at just saying and he was like well uoy need to or find another outlet for yourself because we don't want you to get the poibt of not wanting to come in and the more you don't say the more it will just creep up on you and how can you help others when they are coming to you. I can help them and that's fine its jusy I can't cope with "hidingmy autism", I've been volunteering for a mental health charity fir 5 yrs and no probs there supervisor therec are all aware mostly and understanding and just know (but guess that prob took time to build not that much though).
...Same time I feel like I couldve said stuff I had that opportunity but didn't but like how could I trust him? I was testing the waters perhaps?? And thirdly prob just wanted to get out.
i hear you. it sounds like you’ve got so much on your plate, and i completely understand why we’re dreading this shift - between the long hours, the admin-heavy workload, the sensory challenges, and the discomfort with supervision, it makes total sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed!
first off, it’s okay to acknowledge that this job might not be the right fit for you long-term, and that doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it just means you’re learning what works for you and what doesn’t. if the job isn’t accommodating your needs properly, especially with the sensory overwhelm and the discomfort around supervision, that’s something worth addressing. if you haven’t already, is there a way to ask for reasonable adjustments?
with the sensory overwhelm, please don’t feel bad about how you self-regulate. stimming is not something you should feel ashamed of, and you shouldn’t have to suppress it just because others don’t understand, but i totally get that being watched or questioned about it makes it worse.
i know this is a lot to navigate, and you’re doing so well just by recognising your limits and trying to find ways to cope. if this job continues to drain you, i really hope you allow yourself to reassess whether it’s worth it. you deserve work that doesn’t make you feel like you have to fight through every shift just to survive.
whatever happens, we’re all here for you. you’re not alone in this, and i truly admire how hard you’re trying despite all the challenges. i’m really proud of you
Hi @shannon_164 ,
Thanks for replying back!
I know it's okay to kike not fibs the ideal job but when 5 tears after graduating your still not in a job properly, abs not abke to say to yourself or othwrs I work here uts disheartening!
- the sensory overwhelm only the nusic is job related which they wer supposed to have made thr adjustment of it being away from me but I dont think its being implemented as such. Food lunchtime uoy take own food and this is a constant issue I have in every job, so I'm forced into not being able to work full-time. I'm trying to push myself because I want hi work and I'm struggling to get a job part days.
- it's also important to note in only working here employee on a 0hr contract basis, obviously because im still in training I'm going in once a week I was hoping to increase it and they were advertising for 15hr contract but I chose not to.
- discomfort around supervision- I have a line manager who is of the opposite gender to me and that makes me feel v.uneasy ive always felt uneasy about this (even as a student in school having a teachwr of the opposite gender mace me uncomfortable snd will behave differently even when there'd like 20 other students, this I'm in a room in my own with thrm). Also like its verbally saying stuff, knowing whst to say, what they think, then this added stress if 'my autism, reasonable adjustments etc.. ". He obviously picked up I'm very nervous and now that makes me feel incapable if doing the job when I am capable. Me messing with a bobble well that's normal at her mental health charity I volunteer at I'm always grabbing stressballs from there. But then at the same time It's good that he obviously has the inkling that I'm not exactly 'fine'. It also feels like what's the point he asking for adjustments as likr I'm only there once a week to prob may then 0hr basis, so it feels pointless making a whole 'song dance out of it'. But his in leave now for1 month. The service manager (person who ive had mire contact with as she managed all my recruitment, books me in on the rota etc..) however is calling me Wednesday to discuss 'pay review ' apparently as she texted today. So thay could be an opportunity to discuss some things maybe??
It's difficult because if how much is my autism related and how much is eployment related where they can do something about it).
Sorry this is long!