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Not well.
Riley_2001
Posts: 64 Boards Initiate
I haven’t been around here very much as of late. Sadly, I became rather unwell. I’ve been in and out of hospital, mostly in. Now seeing the at home treatment team. Overall, I’m not doing very well. I am low, I am struggling, in a constant state of questioning my worth and the worth of life. It all seems so frivolous, until I’m watching a movie and it makes me laugh, then it fades for a moment, or so it seems. I believe in the lowest of depths we find our genuine strength, we find what matters to us, what we love, what we want out of life. But I’ve taken many blows, and my dimly lit candle is only one blow away from fading into non existence. I do question how much more I can take, until I take more and realise I’ve managed the load, but become weaker with each added load. But in said weakness, we find our strength. Quite the paradox.
I don’t write this to rant or vent. To write this because I want you all to know that it’s okay to be at your lowest. It’s okay to not be able to imagine tomorrow, or a future for yourself. The weight may feel so suffocatingly heavy, but you will get past it. A future of love, peace, happiness, and loving oneself may just be next for you. It would be an injustice to take that away from yourself after all you’ve been through. Keep going. I believe in YOU. ☺️🖤
I don’t write this to rant or vent. To write this because I want you all to know that it’s okay to be at your lowest. It’s okay to not be able to imagine tomorrow, or a future for yourself. The weight may feel so suffocatingly heavy, but you will get past it. A future of love, peace, happiness, and loving oneself may just be next for you. It would be an injustice to take that away from yourself after all you’ve been through. Keep going. I believe in YOU. ☺️🖤
My forest welcomes your sad days too.
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Comments
i’m really sorry to hear you’re feeling this way, i can’t even begin to imagine how hard things be for you, but the way you put your feelings into words is incredibly powerful - you really do explain it all so so well too, i know sometimes putting how we feel into words can be super challenging!
even in the depths of what you’re going through, you still have the strength to remind others that things can get better and that says SO much about the kind of person you are. i know it might not mean much in the grand scheme of things, but we all believe in you too.
you’re not alone, and no matter how dim things feel right now, your light is still there. forever proud of you, you’ve got this @Riley_2001
Hey, Shannon. ☺️ I can appreciate the thoughtful reply, very kind of you. When I was in hospital, I was surrounded by those that I could relate to. We supported each other emotionally and mentally. I hope I inspired some hope within them. We all deserve to be happy. The world is cruel; therefore I won’t be. No matter how hard my life may get.
I am really sorry you are going through this and truly hope you find some relief and recovery soon. You deserve peace and happiness, even if it feels far away right now. Keep holding on, even if it is just for those small moments of light. They matter, and so do you.
Thanks to you bro for the kind words and same to you my guy.
from seeing your posts on here, i’m very sure you did inspire them in some way!