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Sleep escape
nem Posts: 114
The Mix Convert
Is sleep good to avoid my mum?
Is that okay?
Is that okay?
4
Comments
Posts: 114
The Mix Convert
Community Champion Posts: 1,396
Wise Owl
i’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. it makes sense that you’d want to escape if the environment feels oppressive!
sleep can offer a temporary break, but it’s also important to make sure you’re finding ways to care for yourself beyond that.
it could maybe help to talk to someone about what’s going on? whether it’s a counsellor, a trusted friend, or someone else who can offer support - or even me if that’s something you felt comfy with, i’m always happy to listen if you need, i’m only ever a message away!
you deserve to feel safe and at peace in your environment, and i hope you find ways to make that happen, even if it takes time. you’ve got this @nem - i believe in you
Posts: 114
The Mix Convert
Community Champion Posts: 1,396
Wise Owl
i know counselling can sometimes be really helpful, but i also know that it can take several attempts to find the counsellor that fits best for it be an effective and helpful form of support. it’s good that you’re open to trying though, that’s a big step itself - i’m proud of you for that!
what do you mean by they threaten to kick you out? only if you’re comfy sharing more about that of course - if you don’t want to that is totally ok!
i hope you’re ok
Posts: 114
The Mix Convert
Community Champion Posts: 1,396
Wise Owl
i’m really sorry you had to hear that. that’s a lot to deal with, and i can only imagine how you’re feeling right now. do you have a plan or somewhere safe to go if it comes to that?
we’re always here for you
Posts: 114
The Mix Convert
I went to the housing executive before
They can put you in a hostel kinda but yeah sounds bad
Maybe there’s like one neighbour who’d let me sleep on her floor for a night but not really I don’t think I’d ask I don’t know really
Posts: 114
The Mix Convert
lol
Would be nice tho
Posts: 114
The Mix Convert
Community Champion Posts: 1,396
Wise Owl
that does sound like an incredibly difficult and overwhelming situation, and i’m really sorry you’re going through this.
you don’t have to figure it all out alone though, we’re all here and want to help however we can.
i know it probably feels like there aren’t many good options, but you deserve a safe place to stay and support that doesn’t come with uncertainty or risk. even if the hostel doesn’t sound great, it might be better than being somewhere unsafe / where you are feeling at risk of losing?
i can’t imagine how difficult it must be if you feel that you need to lean into your eating disorder to cope, you deserve kindness and care, from yourself and from others.
i know sometimes it can help knowing someone else is in a similar position, so if it does help you, i am currently in the same position and trying to find somewhere else to live as soon as i possibly can. there is a place called ‘spare room’ where people will post a room they are renting out, that could maybe be an option for you? also, if you’re comfy sharing, what part of the uk are you in? i’m in northern ireland so could share all the places i’ve came across that offer support for people who are homeless / at risk of being homeless if you would be interested? i only know the places for northern ireland though!
you’re doing really well to share everything, im proud of you
Posts: 114
The Mix Convert
Cus my parents aren’t like violent or anything
But it does seem that when I’m around them I get depressed and manic and desperate and my eating disorder gets worse .
Posts: 114
The Mix Convert
Posts: 114
The Mix Convert
I have a clean bed and clean shower
They buy food that I can eat
I’m trying to shift my sleep schedule (slowly, last time I did it way too soon and went all wrong) to wake up at 6:30am so I can always get the first bus out? I’m scared to be in my room
it feels harder to escape the eating disorder
For months I just cried and overate and binge ate and that was horrible.
Now I like my body and that is amazing and I have not binge eaten or over eaten in MONTHS.
But I get extreme fear loads of intrusive thoughts
When I wasn’t allowed to be picked up late before I put into my calendar “hours of suffering” every night, on Christmas I just lay on the floor crying for a few hours and my parents were just there
They didn’t say much
I felt extremely extremely extremely bad
Community Champion Posts: 1,396
Wise Owl
that sounds really tough, and I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. even if your parents aren’t violent, it’s still completely valid to recognise that being around them affects your mental health in such a serious way. you deserve to be in an environment where you feel safe and stable, not one that makes things harder for you.
i know figuring out what to do next probably feels overwhelming, but you don’t have to go through it alone. do you have any support around you? even if things feel uncertain right now, you’re not stuck in this forever, there are options, and we want to help however we can.
you’re not alone in this
Community Champion Posts: 1,396
Wise Owl
it sounds like you’ve been carrying so much on your own for so long, and that’s not fair. even if your basic needs are being met, that doesn’t mean you’re in a safe or healthy environment for your mental health. feeling trapped, scared, or overwhelmed in your own home is a huge thing to be dealing with - i understand how you’re feeling with that though, i promise you’re not alone with that feeling!
i also want to acknowledge how incredible it is that you’ve come so far with your relationship with your body and food. that’s a huge achievement, and even though things still feel really hard, that progress matters - i am so so proud of you! you deserve to feel safe, not just physically, but emotionally too.
you’ve got this, i believe in you