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being aggressive

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 411 Listening Ear
in Health & Wellbeing
If you are brought up around people who are angry quickly and resort to violence, do you think you are likely to grow up to be that way as well?

Men in my life are aggressive and very angry all of the time. They love fighting and being strong so much, they are always boxing the air or flexing their (sometimes none existent) muscles. It makes me cringe but I saw my 1 year old cousin do it yesterday.

When my dad was alive I remember feeling so safe with him I could say anything. He used to get aggressive and hot headed but I would remind him to calm down and he would apologise. I cant do that with other people because they don't listen the way my dad did.

I think my dad was a good person who wanted to be good and calm but didn't know how because of the people he was brought up around.

How can I make sure I'm not the same ?

I am feeling very down right now. I remember last time I felt real down I snapped at someone. But I feel like I want to cry idk why and now its making me feel angry with myself. but i don't think I am angry. just sad I think

i want to be a good and kind person. Mam said I'm very like my dad and my uncle said my dad was more of a man. I would like to be like my dad but more able to control how I feel but still able to be a man.

Comments

  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,030 Supreme Poster
    Obviously I’m looking at this from a female POV, but I was raised around shouting and aggression (not violence) from one of my siblings .. I have absolutely no clue where she got it from as my parents were never like that. I don’t think it will automatically make you the same. I was never ever an aggressive angry person before i went through trauma. That was worse than listening to shouting for 10 years for me.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 411 Listening Ear
    Cheers for the reply . Female povs are welcome . I’m sorry you had to go through the trauma . That must be hard




    Last night a fella here was roaring I’m the king of all men and then looked at me and said who am I king of? I really did not want to say of all men. It made me feel small. He got right up in my face and asked again so I said it. He scruffed up my hair and said ya that’s right. I feel like he would’ve been really angry if I didn’t say it

    I feel like this was aggressive for no good reason and a lot of people around me are like that. Maybe I won’t be like that. I hope I can be a good person

    I might go to mass Sunday to see if I feel better. I’ve been trying to go every week but stuff is just hard at the minute
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,030 Supreme Poster
    That sounds to me like it might be a bit of a cultural thing if a lot of people around you are like that. It’s interesting to me because I haven’t seen it much but then again I am from a different background. Doesn’t mean you automatically have to be like that. You are already a good person if you’re thinking so critically about this, for what it’s worth. You don’t want to be that person and that shows a lot about your good character IMO.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 411 Listening Ear
    Yea maybe cultural. Thanks @independent_ 🙂
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