Stereotypes

I am an undiagnosed autistic ADHDer. I have been referred for a diagnosis.
over the last month or so I have been doing loads of research (neurodiversity is my main special interest) especially about autism and ADHD in teen girls and I found that I related to a lot of it.

I am now 99% certain I am AuDHD but I have a twin brother who is very stereotypically autistic and ADHD which has lead to a lot of doubt not exactly thinking that i'm not neurodivergent (I am either way I was diagnosed with dyslexia age 8) it's more that I am not autistic / ADHD enough that cause I don't meet the expectations and I don't immediately across as AuDHD. (although i don't know how I come across to other people I'm no mind reader) of course this does not mean I am not autistic and ADHD I currently identify as self diagnosed for both but cause I don't have the official thing it doesn't stop the doubt although it probably won't end it completely anyway but still.

Also me and my family have been watching a TV series (which I recommend to everyone) called A Kind Of Spark on BBC Iplayer which is awesome but it does mean I compare myself to the characters which is not all bad as the main ones are mostly autistic girls. (I hate to say these next words) but I still feel a bit like I'm faking or I'm becoming more autistic or that i'm copying or that it's just in my head.

does anyone have any advice on how to accept and explore my authentic AuDHD self and keep out negative thoughts?

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AnonymousToe

Hi @AutisticGirl and welcome to the mix!
I’d say try not to compare yourself to your brother. I don’t know much about ADHD but I know that autism can present very differently in males and females, and just in people in general.

Former Member

thank you

AnonymousToe wrote: »

I know that autism can present very differently in males and females, and just in people in general.

in ADHD there are 3 presentations:
inattentive
hyperactive/ impulsive
combined
(i have inattentive ADHD

Anonymous55

@AutisticGirl
I get it. Me and my bro are both somewhere on there, and he's diagnosed while I'm still going through that. Our parents didn't realize for a while, especially because we weren't the stereotypical AuDHD kids. I was a bit more than him, but I never told my parents about it because I was worried about how they'd react. So that might've been partly on me lol. Point is, don't try to fit into anything, because you literally can't. Everyone is different, and we all see each other differently to how we do ourselves and vice versa. Also I love a kind of spark! I've read the book and it's awesome! It makes me feel so, so seen and now I know there's a show I'm absolutely watching it!

Some advice I'd give on exploring yourself is to notice and observe the way you interact with your friends and family. If some of the things that happen feel off to you, try to figure out why that is and not be too judgemental of yourself or anyone else. I'd also advice to start breaking down (slowly) any barriers you've built against displaying habits others have discouraged in the past, such as stimming, not holding eye contact, etc. It took me a while to feel comfortable doing certain things, but it gets easier if the right people are there to support you. Hope this helped!

Former Member

thank you by the way who's your favourite character in A Kind Of Spark?

lunarcat522

@Anonymous55 I didn't know there was a book for a kind of spark! I really want to watch the TV show - is it worth reading the book first?

Also I can relate @AutisticGirl so I'm sorry you're going through this, my brother is autistic (diagnosed very early at age 2) so I get the self-invalidation you might be experiencing. Are you at school or university where you could request access to an educational psychologist for a screening?

Former Member

yes the book is definitely worth reading (a kind of spark that is) and there's a sequel which came out recently called Keedie which is when Keedie was 14. I am home educated and have been referred for an official diagnosis

BensonE

Hi @AutisticGirl I haven't read full post yet

I'm now 20 but I was diagnosed as autistic at 11 years old and have researched it ever since and I also work with SEN teenagers

ASD looks very different in girls and boys there's a great BBC documentary on this if I can find it again I'll post it on here

Former Member

cool

Former Member

cool

Amy22

Hey @AutisticGirl I too am a fellow neurodiverse and AuHD'er as I have got both ASD (Autism Spectrum disorder) and ADHD with anxiety, ocd and depression (all the A's). I was diagnosed quite early in life at the age of six (my primary school teacher went on a course and noticed I had neurodiverse traits and told my parents one day about it) but originally the doctors used to think I had a condition called Angel Man Syndrome and I had to have a blood test for it and that's how they found out about my autism.

I also feel the same in the way you mention that you don't always feel 100% neurodiverse or qualify as AuHD as I find sometimes that I'm not even though it's part of my DNA. Likewise the main thing is not to compare yourself to others even though this is super hard to do sometimes. I know saying this sounds a tad bit cheesy but comparing ourselves to ours can also make us feel worse sometimes because we think maybe we aren't what we say we are. However eventhough you identify as neurodiverse you can still be neurodiverse regardless of what others think or how you compare yourself to other people.

I'd defo say keep exploring yourself and learning about neurodiversity as this is something that has helped me in the past especially with self identity too. As a young person too your growing and learning so it's good that you want to explore and discover yourself more.

I have heard of the show A Special kind of Spark and its a show I will need to watch at some point. I have watched a lot of documentaries on autism too, I think there was one I watched and they had a girl on there who identified as autistic and I think she loved cosplay. I can't remember the name of the doc but I think it was on bbc three or one a while ago. I don't think it's still on iplayer but it was very insightful and made me learn more too about people.

I'm also always here if you need someone to chat to or if you need advice on neurodiversity and self identity. I'm more than happy to have a chat and help out with anything.