Home› General Chat
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

Jokes Thread

DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,802 Master Poster
in General Chat
Feel free to share any jokes you find (or even make your own.) We all need a bit of laughter especially when there are challenging times. If they are dirty or possibly triggering, please put them in a spoiler. No racist jokes please.
"There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 

Comments

  • Options
    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,802 Master Poster
    How do you test if someone is ticklish? You give them a testicle.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • Options
    sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,062 Wise Owl
    edited December 2023
    Love this idea, here's another joke - i hid the answer in a spoiler :3 :

    What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
    Sofishticated
  • Options
    JJLemon18JJLemon18 Community Champion Posts: 1,926 Extreme Poster
    How do you tell the gender of a snowman?
    By his snowballs
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • Options
    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,802 Master Poster
    edited December 2023
    A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.
    If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
    What’s the difference between hungry and horny? Where you stick the cucumber.
    How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
    Husband: The doctor said I can touch myself whenever I want. Wife: No, he said you could have a stroke at any time.
    Knock knock! Who’s there? Boo? Boo who? Stop crying, you pussy. It’s just a joke.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • Options
    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,802 Master Poster
    Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? To look for Pooh!
    What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli? Kids don’t eat broccoli.
    Knock knock! Who’s there? A yam. A yam who? A yam so wet for you right now.
    Why was the banana sad after its race? It lost to the eventual wiener.
    What`s long and hard and full of semen? A submarine.
    My dad always used to say: "If your sex doll is leaking, it`s not sick. It`s full."
    If you were a dinosaur, you`d be a Gorgeousarus.
    If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • Options
    Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,017 Community Veteran
    Where do cows like to go in their free time?. They like to go to the moovies
    what do you call a reindeer with no eyes?. A no eye deer!

    Love everyones jokes
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • Options
    Matthew_04Matthew_04 Moderator Posts: 78 Budding Regular
    I got told this one yesterday, it took me a minute to understand but I think it's hilarious:
    How does a nonbinary samurai kill someone? ...They slash them!!
  • Options
    JJLemon18JJLemon18 Community Champion Posts: 1,926 Extreme Poster
    Matthew_04 wrote: »
    I got told this one yesterday, it took me a minute to understand but I think it's hilarious:
    How does a nonbinary samurai kill someone? ...They slash them!!

    Lol this took me a while too. Its a good one!
    Believe in me - who believes in you
Sign In or Register to comment.