Vent

When will people fucking realise that life doesn't fucking change. Life doesn't get "better" and it never fucking will so why do people even say that shit, there no point in saying the lies just to get people to stay alive. It doesnt help no one. Why cant people see that, why cant people see that most shit they say is fucking bullshit. People leave, they always will. They rock up one day and act like they care and that they are there for you and then the very next day they up and leave like they never gave a fuck about you. They see how complicated and sensitive you are and then decide that they can't be bothered dealing with you. No ones stayed in my life for even a year and I doubt anyone even will. People are so fucking fake like no one gets the fact that I give people a chance like they fucking deserve but everyone turns into backstabbing idiots that soon treat me like crap. Im so done with people. I cant deal with it. Clearly people that pretend to not be fake are gonna turn it so why should I bother anymore, it just makes me re question who is and who isn't fake and a lier. Im tried of people always proving that im better off by myself, its always "ill never leave" and they might not but they sure make me want to leave. I've reached that point where I wanna just fucking cut people off and disappear because it sure feels better than to be made feel crap all the time. I know im hard to deal with and people have to put up with me but fucking hell can people not just cut me some slack for once and make like actually feel bearable and worth living because at the fucking moment all I wanna do is vanish forever. Ive reached breaking point and I dont even know what to fucking do about it other than just live with suicidal thoughts and urges until I have the gut to actually do it.