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Having butterflies to some friends? Help?

SneakylilmochaSneakylilmocha Somewhere tropical 🌴Posts: 177 Helping Hand
edited December 2020 in Gender & Sexuality
During high school, I had butterflies on my stomach for a few times with multiple friends (all of them are girls) and it's really confusing to me. It sometimes appeared when I had fun talking to one of them, and sometimes can be overwhelming on my stomach while we were really neared each other.
I have a moment when me and my childhood friend were having fun hanging out together inside her bedroom ( watching youtube together, playing games, etc) since we were kids, those butterflies on my stomach were very overwhelming almost eveytime we were hanging there, it's felt very fluttering and pulsing on my stomach.

Actually, I had crush on guys few times in my life but I experienced butterflies more often on my girlfriends, I'm not sure about this, did I have crush on them?
Also, labelling myself bi or demisexual really fits me, but i'm still not sure though.
I just don't know if this related to sexual / romantic attraction or just normal.
"Grow from the dirt they left you in."


  • SneakylilmochaSneakylilmocha Somewhere tropical 🌴Posts: 177 Helping Hand
    Side note: Honestly, I think I experieced sexual attraction and feelings, but those effects wont last long and I don't feel romantically on them.
    "Grow from the dirt they left you in."
  • coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 1,058 Wise Owl
    Hey @Sneakylilmocha

    It's very normal to be questioning feelings like this and to wonder what label fits you. I really understand, from experience, that sometimes neatly slotting into a label is exactly what we want to do, as a way of understanding ourselves. However, sometime it's not that easy. And that's okay. You don't have to label yourself at all, or if you would like to, there is no real rush to figure this out. Sexuality can be fluid and can take time to figure out and that's perfectly okay :heart:

    If you'd like to talk about your feelings here, as a way of understanding them better, you are more than welcome to. A question that might help to explore these is - you say a label of bisexual or demisexual fits really well, but you still aren't sure. Do you know what it is that you aren't sure about?

    It could be that you just lean towards certain genders in certain ways. So, you may be attracted to  males and females, but when you break it down, you are more male-leaning in a romantic sense and more female-leaning in a sexual sense. 

    Either way, discovering your sexuality is a journey. You made a great step by sharing your feelings here, as talking about your feelings is a great way to better understand them. I would really love for you to know that this journey can take as long as you need. There is no rush - take every feeling as it comes. And remember that all of your feelings are valid, accepted and should be celebrated. Love, in any form, is so beautiful :heart:

  • GemmaGemma Posts: 123
    Hi @Sneakylilmocha

    As @coc0mac has said it's completely normal to consider these feelings and what they mean. I know there an overwhelming number of labels out there but there is no pressure to leap to one unless it feels right for you. It's possible that what you were feeling was a crush but could also be a sign of attraction.

    It shows strength how you've shared your feelings here and we're all here for you on this journey. Embrace all your feelings as they come, feel free to explore them and be open to any experiences you'd like to have.

  • SneakylilmochaSneakylilmocha Somewhere tropical 🌴Posts: 177 Helping Hand
    Thank you everyone! I'm sorry for the late response, I don't really know what to reply and discuss about this kind of topics.

    @coc0mac I do agree with you, exploring sexuality does takes time a lot. Sometimes I'm very confused and really want to label myself right away. What I'm not sure about is that: I do attracted to guys in sexual- way too if it's in media, but in real life I attracted girls more than boys in real life. Because I feel butterflies more after I became friends with them, I want to call myself demi-sexual but I'm very hesitate too because I'm afraid someone will tell me I'm just Bi-curious if I told somebody and this topic is very taboo in my country since they don't allowed LGBT+ people in society or just being look down upon. 
    I don't know if this important, but I mostly attracted to fictional characters and most of them are protagonists. All of them are male, I think that I become really attracted to them because I can get to know them really well, after that phase, I usually attracted to them, whether romantically and sexually. Most of my friends prefer the handsome-looking side kick, but I don't find them attractive usually. 
    That's what I got from my own past from now, I don't know if there'a more evidence about me that I can acknowledge in the future.
    Other than that, thank you for your kind response again :smile: thank you for validating my feelings and support, I hardly talk to anyone about this in real life. 
    Have a good day! :heart:

    Thank you @Gemma! I also agree that labels can be overwhelming, some of them can be relatable since sexuality is very fluid and different to everyone. Even labels are unnecessary, I feel like I really need a label that really fits me, and I also agree that it could be sign of attraction, Sometimes I'm having sexual thoughts and fluttering stomach can be overwhemling when they're nearing me or being alone with them. I'll find another interesting experiences in the future and thank you for validating my feelings too! :smile:
    "Grow from the dirt they left you in."
  • Rose124Rose124 Posts: 69 Boards Initiate
    Hi sneakylilmocha

    I just want to let you know that what are you feeling is completely normal. You said that you feel as though the label of bisexuality fits you really well - i too am bisexual, and I have noticed that sometimes I can be romantically attracted to one gender and not the other, and then sometimes I can be sexually attracted to one gender and not another. Also, I've noticed that sometimes I might have a preference to date women for a few days or weeks and then afterwards, this preference of mine might flip towards men. This might be what you are experiencing? I find that sexuality is often very fluid.

    Hope this helps.
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