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Situation with my crush

scottyjones98scottyjones98 Posts: 13 Settling in
Hello Everyone,

I have a bit of a situationship with my crush and was wondering if anyone had any advice. So me and my crush stopped talking back at the end of January this year, they stopped replying to my messages and stopped being active on social media and I got this feeling they need some space as they had some big things going on in their life at the time.

They have recently started being active again on social media and from some of the things they have been posting it looks as though they have/are struggling with their mental health.

I want to message them to check they are okay and say I'm here if they want to talk as I do care about them but to also make contact again with them. But I am not sure if I should message them as they may feel they aren't ready for a relationship and may feel that is what I am wanting and so should I just carry on giving them some space.

I'm also thinking will they be a bit annoyed at me for not messaging sooner and only messaging now they have become active on social media again, when really I was just trying to give them space as that is what I felt was right at the time.

I overthink a lot hence why I would like some advice as I don't really know what the best course of action is as I've never been in a romantic relationship before. I want to show I care but I don't want them to feel pressured about entering a relationship yet if they aren't ready. We never got to a dating stage (cos of COVID) but we did message and chat all through January, so I don't know if it would seem weird to suddenly message them again or what to say.

Any advice would be much appreciated.


  • RileyRiley Posts: 814 Super Moderator
    I can totally see why you're struggling with this situation @scottyjones98 I think it's the kind of thing a lot of people have to deal with at some point. It's certainly very considerate for you to want to give your friend some space when they need it, I'm sure they appreciated it if they were going through a difficult time. What you might want to consider is sending a message that makes it clear you're happy to talk but leaving it up to them depending on if they still need space.

    You also mentioned that you're worried they won't want to talk to you if they don't want a relationship, are you only interested in them as a potential partner or do you want to be friends with them? There's nothing wrong with just wanting to date someone but I would hate for you to get mixed up in an awkward situation because of a miscommunication.

    I hope that all makes sense, I know it's a complex situation so feel free to ignore my advice since I'm just an outsider here but I really hope it all works out for you eventually! <3
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Sparkle ✨ Posts: 1,170 Wise Owl
    I agree with @Riley I hope everything works out for you @scottyjones98 🙂🤍
  • lovemimoonlovemimoon 🦋 Posts: 2,021 Boards Champion
    @Riley couldn't have said it better themselves.

    If you're feeling particularly anxious about what to say, it's always good to address the elephant in the room.
    Something like "Hey, I know we haven't spoken for a while but..." or "Hey, how have you been? It's been a while since we've spoke but..."

    I hope things goes well with your crush! <3
  • scottyjones98scottyjones98 Posts: 13 Settling in
    @Riley @_Tech_Addict_Girl @lovemimoon thank you for all your great advice I have sent them a message today as regardless of if anything happens with the relationship I just wanted to make sure they were okay.
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