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Really struggling

GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
in Health & Wellbeing
Am I just invisible? Am I just that hate, I no longer matter to anyone?

Just want someone to care tbh. I'm struggling so much

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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Just want a physical hug tbh. I'm really really struggling at the moment. I have been all week but I've been busy. I'm tired of putting on fake smiles. Its mentally exhausting pretending to me ok when you aren't. I feel like I can't do anything without being in the wrong at the moment. Self harming on a more regular basis. Feel like my meds are just making me worse. Im sat out on the door step with a cider in hand crying into the cold night.. fearing what tomorrow will bring. Can't handle anymore shit. I honestly can't. I wish I was understood. I wish my anxiety wasn't invalidated daily. I wish I just mattered. I feel like everyone around me wants me dead and I'm starting to feel like my existence isn't worth it anymore.
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Anyone? :( H went to bed and now I feel so alone
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    _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
    I’m here for you @GreenTea 💙
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Thank you.
    Cried so much my eyes burn and hurt to close. I want to sleep but I can't switch off
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I'm exhausted. I haven't slept
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    DandelionDandelion Posts: 1,911 Extreme Poster
    I care @GreenTea, we are all here for you xx
    The steps you take don’t need to be big, they just need to take you in the right direction. 
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited April 2021
    I've had an hour and 16 minutes sleep. I have a banging headache and just not motivation to do anything. I'm falling apart.
    Post edited by Connor on
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    StarlightStarlight Posts: 1,436 Wise Owl
    That sounds so tough, I hear you @GreenTea it sounds like such a hard time and getting no sleep always makes things so much worse, I know. It’s alright and valid the way you are feeling, I know you are struggling but it will be okay and if you ever need to talk we’re all here for you!
    “I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight
    I need you all night, come on, dance with me”

    * Shine like the star you are! *
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited April 2021
    Thank you @Starlight
    I'm really struggling on barely any sleep. Feeling really fed up to be honest. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I get moaned at for anything I do these days, before you know it I'll be told in in the wrong for breathing
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I feel physically sick from stress of everything at the moment. It's just one thing after another.
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    SkyeSkye Posts: 103 The Mix Convert
    Hello @GreenTea what you are going through sounds very rough and I do not promise to completely understand your situation because I don't, no one else does except you, but I do relate to it a little bit.

    I want you to know that you matter. Your mere existence matter more than anything. The universe wouldn't be the same if you didn't exist and I'm very glad that you do. And people care about you but sometimes they are not good at showing their love and care but they do, in their own messed up way they do care. And the absolutely do not want you dead.

    Breaking down and crying is alright because sometimes keeping emotions in does us more damage. You are strong and brave just for getting out of bed and living the day. I believe in you and you should too.

    Everyone is born with a reason. Sometimes it takes us a while to find our reason to live. Don't just give up before you find yours. You worth more than a million stars. Don't compare yourself to others to find your worth.

    As for self harming, my friend gave me a tip and I want to share it with you. To whatever part of yourself you want to self harm, draw a small butterfly or any small animal there, and harming yourself there will harm the butterfly. You wouldn't want to harm the butterfly, would you?

    Just calm down and breathe. It will be okay.

    I don't have any tips for sleeping but i too struggle with that. But I hope you get a good sleep today.

    At last, I dare you to be what you want to be, to let the art in your heart out, to let the song in your soul play loud, to be alive, to never settle, to find what you are looking for, to chase the clouds and the light and your dreams. I dare you to come alive. ❤️

    Won't you come over and watch the stars with me?

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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Thank you. I've self harmed for a long time and tried lots of different things to help. Thank you for the suggestion though.
    I'm feeling really deflated today. Just trying to look after myself but I'm finding it very difficult
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Sending hugs to you @GreenTea :heart:

    We are here for you :heart:
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey @GreenTea I’m so sorry to hear that you have been struggling, always here for you💜

    How are you feeling today?
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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