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Being home is tough

BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
in Health & Wellbeing
As you may know I've just come out of a psychiatric hospital, I had to come home as my Dr didn't want me going back to my flat on my own... I thought it would be great seeing my family again as I haven't seen them since July. It is good seeing them, but it's hard being back. It's just reminded me of everything I tried so hard to escape from. So many bad memories are held in this place, in this room, all the self harm, suicide attempts... Its so damn triggering. I just don't know what to do to make this space safe, I don't feel safe. 
' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  

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    JamJarJamJar Posts: 274 The Mix Regular
    It's good to hear that you're glad to be with your family again @BubblesGoesBoo , but this does seems like a difficult situation... It's also encouraging to read how self-aware you are of all of the triggers, but again not good that you don't feel safe. Have you said anything to your family about any of this?
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Hey @JamJar I haven't spoken to my mam as it will do more harm than good... I've just been coping by getting drunk every night which I know isn't the best but its the only thing keeping me going right now... Spoke toy new psychiatrist yesterday and extra support is being put in ace for my return home, but I just feel like I'm wasting their time, someone else needs it more... I dunno, just coming to realise things... 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    Hi @BubblesGoesBoo

    Sending so much love your way, this sounds tough :heart:

    I'm pleased you are getting some extra support put in place for your return home. You did so well to speak to the psychiatrist about how you are feeling at home, and to share it here too - I'm so proud of you x

    For what it's worth, I want you to know that you're absolutely not wasting their time. And I truly hope that one day you can feel and believe that too. You deserve to feel safe, supported and comfortable in your space, always. And it's absolutely okay if you need a little support along the way with that. You are just as important as everybody else - you matter a lot :heart:


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