Home Health & Wellbeing

Not Being Heard/Feeling Shunned

ThatFelixGuyThatFelixGuy Always Look Up. Optimism > PesimismPosts: 212 Trailblazer
edited October 20 in Health & Wellbeing
I just need to vent and be heard, before I end up choking on my own tears.

In March I was made redundant and ever since then, living has been hard. Applying for jobs, getting rejected, eating food, going to bed, repeat. For days now this cycle has continued and recently I decided I REALLY needed some help. I gave The Mix a go, and the few discussions I had, I felt like I was being heard and I could feel a little at ease.

I just felt like my issues were not serious enough to even warrant being spoken to about. I felt pushed right back to start. It is a horrible feeling to doubt everything you do, and even more so when you are feeling low, neglected, and just genuinely like poop.

But now, I feel that 'virus' as such has hit my real life. My family won't listen, I have no friends to talk to about it, god forbid I call the doctor and tell them I feel anxious, because of these restrictions...I am returning to stress eating, I am on the verge of crying every day, I bailed almost every group activity I am supposed to do...this feeling of not being heard is getting to me.

I want to live again, I want to be heard, be held, be loved. 

I gave it another go because the mods and 90% of the community are worth it...but I just feel my problems are not being listned to. And I am at my wits ned. Nobody will give me the time of day...nobody. I am not asking for advice or given different techniques to do. I just want someone to validate my feelings are OK and that I can be this way, without being judged or belittled by others.

I feel like crap for the first time since a teenager, and that is not going away anytime soon...
"Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." - Bruce Lee
errrinindependent_EleanorLaineAidanDandelionAnch0r33Mel_Salix_alba_2019

Comments

  • errrinerrrin Posts: 103 The Mix Convert
    Hi @ThatFelixGuy I’m really sorry you were made to feel that way. You’re feelings are valid and your problems are just important as everyone else’s. You deserve help and I’m always more than happy to listen.

    I don’t know firsthand how it feels to be made redundant but I watched my dad go through it once a few years ago and then again because of COVID. I remember the horrible cycle or applying and feeling rejected. And I’m ashamed to say I wasn’t helpful at all, and at the time I was too caught up in my own feelings to help him in the way I should have.

    I really wish you the best with finding a job, and I’m positive the right job will come soon. I’m really sorry you felt pushed aside in a time when you really needed help. It doesn’t matter how big or small a problem may seem to someone else , all problems deserve help.

    I’m  sorry if I’ve come across rude or insensitive or intrusive. But I really do care and if you ever want to talk I’ll be more than happy to listen. Hope you have a good day  :)
    ThatFelixGuy
  • ThatFelixGuyThatFelixGuy Always Look Up. Optimism > PesimismPosts: 212 Trailblazer
    errrin said:
    Hi @ThatFelixGuy I’m really sorry you were made to feel that way. You’re feelings are valid and your problems are just important as everyone else’s. You deserve help and I’m always more than happy to listen.

    I don’t know firsthand how it feels to be made redundant but I watched my dad go through it once a few years ago and then again because of COVID. I remember the horrible cycle or applying and feeling rejected. And I’m ashamed to say I wasn’t helpful at all, and at the time I was too caught up in my own feelings to help him in the way I should have.

    I really wish you the best with finding a job, and I’m positive the right job will come soon. I’m really sorry you felt pushed aside in a time when you really needed help. It doesn’t matter how big or small a problem may seem to someone else , all problems deserve help.

    I’m  sorry if I’ve come across rude or insensitive or intrusive. But I really do care and if you ever want to talk I’ll be more than happy to listen. Hope you have a good day  :)
    Your good <3 thank you for that however!

    You did nothing wrong, I am just very close to breaking point. I needed that <3
    "Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." - Bruce Lee
    errrin
  • EleanorEleanor Living the Zen life 🧘🏼‍♀️ Posts: 1,556 Extreme Poster
    @ThatFelixGuy I'm sorry you've had a bad experience in the chat :( 

    Have you filled in  a feedback form about what happened, that way the staff will get your experience directly?
    Alis propriis volat 
    ThatFelixGuy
  • ThatFelixGuyThatFelixGuy Always Look Up. Optimism > PesimismPosts: 212 Trailblazer
    Eleanor said:
    @ThatFelixGuy I'm sorry you've had a bad experience in the chat :( 

    Have you filled in  a feedback form about what happened, that way the staff will get your experience directly?
    I did that earlier! Thank you for the idea!

    This is not about the problem per say, I am just fed up of not being heard at all.
    "Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." - Bruce Lee
    EleanorMike
  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandPosts: 5,353 Part of The Furniture
    I’m really sorry you feel that way Felix, it’s horrible when you’re feeling like you’re not being heard. It’s good that you’ve filled out the feedback form and if you did feel you wanted to discuss it in terms of who was involved, you could always drop @The Mix a PM. 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
    ThatFelixGuyEleanor
  • LaineLaine Llama Mama Gone for GooPosts: 2,467 Boards Champion
    Glad to hear you filled out feedback! You can also contact the mix if you wish to discuss it nobody should have that experience! :)

    Sometimes support chat can get quite busy and users can go unnoticed it's totally not for any reason regarding someone's needs as all are worthy of support and don't feel bad repeating yourself once or twice x

    Everything sounds real tough sucks to hear your parents are not listening! Are the Drs planning to help in any way? 

    We're all here to listen ❤️ remember the 1-2-1 services are also there 

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it?" ~ Bastille

    "Here's to the ones that we got
    Cheers to the wish you were here, but you're not" ~ Maroon 5
    ThatFelixGuy
  • ThatFelixGuyThatFelixGuy Always Look Up. Optimism > PesimismPosts: 212 Trailblazer
    Laine said:
    Glad to hear you filled out feedback! You can also contact the mix if you wish to discuss it nobody should have that experience! :)

    Sometimes support chat can get quite busy and users can go unnoticed it's totally not for any reason regarding someone's needs as all are worthy of support and don't feel bad repeating yourself once or twice x

    Everything sounds real tough sucks to hear your parents are not listening! Are the Drs planning to help in any way? 

    We're all here to listen ❤️ remember the 1-2-1 services are also there 
    I am trying to avoid the doctors due to implications being in the armed forces. If it continues, I will need to see the doc, but it also mean having a Triage with the rank's nurse and I wanna avoid that lol.

    What are the 1-2-1 services? It is late and I am dumb i cant remember haha.

    Thank you laine <3
    "Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." - Bruce Lee
    Laine
  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandPosts: 5,353 Part of The Furniture
    edited October 17
    The 1-2-1 services are the helpline, online chat and email services that you can use to speak to a member of the mix’s team. Basically it’s a signposting service but you can speak to them about anything that’s bothering you and they recommend places to help :) 

    https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/speak-to-our-team 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
    ThatFelixGuy
  • ThatFelixGuyThatFelixGuy Always Look Up. Optimism > PesimismPosts: 212 Trailblazer
    The 1-2-1 services are the helpline, online chat and email services that you can use to speak to a member of the mix’s team. Basically it’s a signposting service but you can speak to them about anything that’s bothering you and they recommend places to help :) 

    https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/speak-to-our-team 
    Yep I totally knew that already! Me be tired lol.

    Thank you <3
    "Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." - Bruce Lee
  • DandelionDandelion Posts: 886 Part of The Mix Family
    @ThatFelixGuy I’m so sorry you had that experience. I understand how you feel when chat gets busy you can feel ignored and pushed to the side. Please continue to reach out on the discussion boards if you need any support on anything. There is also 1-2-1 chat like others have mentioned. And support circle which has less people in than chat and everyone gets there time to speak so people don’t get ignored xx
    Today is a great day for a great day. 
    EleanorThatFelixGuy
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Crazy Rat Lady 🐀 Posts: 563 Incredible Poster
    edited October 20
    Hey @ThatFelixGuy I'm sorry you had a shitty experience and felt ignored. 

    As others said, SC gets like that. It gets very overwhelming (and I've only properly been once).

    The next time I went I felt very similar to you, although one of the other boards members joined me in sc and made sure I was heard. That helped me massively and stopped me giving up with what I needed to say. 

    If you ever need something like that I'm happy to join you and make sure you're heard, because I know how important that was for me. 

    We're all here to support you so please don't be afraid to speak up <3
    👁️👄👁️
    ThatFelixGuy
  • ThatFelixGuyThatFelixGuy Always Look Up. Optimism > PesimismPosts: 212 Trailblazer
    edited October 20
    I feel I'm just unhearable, completely. Not sure if support chats in long run are for me.
    "Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." - Bruce Lee
    Anch0r33LaineDandelionSalix_alba_2019
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Crazy Rat Lady 🐀 Posts: 563 Incredible Poster
    How was the situation dealt with at the time? Do you feel it could've been handled better? 

    In a perfect world how would that session have went? 
    👁️👄👁️
    ThatFelixGuy
  • ThatFelixGuyThatFelixGuy Always Look Up. Optimism > PesimismPosts: 212 Trailblazer
    Anch0r33 said:
    How was the situation dealt with at the time? Do you feel it could've been handled better? 

    In a perfect world how would that session have went? 
    I kinda took it away with me as it was not a big deal at the time...it just built from that point. 

    I just wish I felt a little more respected when presenting my problems. As I said before, that is not the issue here. I just feel completely ignored by most people...it is nobodies fault in particular, but it just sucks you know?

    You are all great people <3
    "Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." - Bruce Lee
    Anch0r33Laineerrrin
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Crazy Rat Lady 🐀 Posts: 563 Incredible Poster
    That makes sense. It's good you've been able to tell us how you feel though rather than letting it build up further. 

    I know this probably doesn't help but you're already a big part of this community and we will be here through the good and the bad <3
    👁️👄👁️
    ThatFelixGuy
  • LaineLaine Llama Mama Gone for GooPosts: 2,467 Boards Champion
    Sorry to hear the circle didn't go well! You are a big part of the community and we all care it's important everyone is heard ❤️ 

    I'm glad you're able to vent you shouldn't have to keep it in :)

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it?" ~ Bastille

    "Here's to the ones that we got
    Cheers to the wish you were here, but you're not" ~ Maroon 5
    Anch0r33ThatFelixGuy
  • ThatFelixGuyThatFelixGuy Always Look Up. Optimism > PesimismPosts: 212 Trailblazer
    It just hurts sometimes to keep all this stress locked in - losing my job, finding out who I really am and what I like, getting locked in all in a years work...it is hectic and just a load of bull. Whenever I let it out, pople just nod and agree like I am asking them a question.

    And that one expierence the other week just made me think, well maybe my problems are best of cooped in my head. 
    "Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." - Bruce Lee
    _John
  • _John_John Posts: 80 Budding Regular
    edited October 18
    Hey @ThatFelixGuy

    You’re not the only one who experience this type of problem, I do it all time. Sometimes whenever you need that touching feeling when you having a bad day and you say that to a person. Their reactions sometimes be unpredictable whether they show support to you or they just shrug it off and calling you the attention seeker. I always have this problem where if I offload most of my dark thoughts, where I don’t get enough satisfaction and relief and getting up to the point where it’s best to handle problems on my own. I’ve been doing this for years and it won’t be good for my health after all so you will get an idea of what I’ve been going through. 😂

    To be honest, sometimes you might have a hard time getting along with other people but seeking your GP or doing a counselling/therapy session is probably a way to be actually better overall, well I haven’t properly tried any of these yet so I’m so stupid hahaha 😂.

    I don’t know what to say really, I never felt long-term happiness but I’m still happy at the end as long as I have something to do like a hobby or work that made my day, so maybe this could work for you? I’d rather not worry about employment for now, just go with the flow and maybe if you have new job opportunities you can do that too.

    I hope something goes well for you. Take care of yourself 👍.
    "Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak."  - Sun Tzu
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