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How the hell do I get over my ex??

TiredSquirrelTiredSquirrel Posts: 28 Boards Initiate
edited June 2020 in Sex & Relationships
I'm getting sick of it now. I've been upset today about it and its been 6 months. Yes, she did come back to me after 3 months and then changed her mind again which didn't help, but I want to be in a position where when she eventually gets with someone else, I am ok about it.
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Comments

  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandPosts: 6,133 Master Poster
    Hi,

    Breakups are really hard, I hear you on that. Especially because your ex came back to you and changed her mind, I’m guessing that gave you some false hope? That must have been awful when she chose to leave again.

    How long were you and your ex together? The trouble with breakups is that time is the best healer, and the longer you two were together, the more time it will take for you to go through that process.

    Have you got anything that you find helps when you’re feeling upset and thinking about your ex?
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
    TiredSquirrel
  • TiredSquirrelTiredSquirrel Posts: 28 Boards Initiate
    @independent_

    We were together for around 16 months. This was my first proper girlfriend, so my first breakup (which is why I guess it's so hard). We went to uni together (where I have now dropped out of and starting at a new one with friends in September).

    I try and keep busy which sometimes helps, but days like this when it's raining it's hard to find things to do, as I would normally drive somewhere. I could see friends, but there's always the danger my ex will go (as we have mutual friends) - I have written other posts about this issue.

    I know they say time is a healer, but I hate that saying as it hasn't got a lot easier (or at least how I had hoped). Because of the mutual friend thing (and I avoid doing things with them if she is there), it's made it way harder to avoid her and remove hyer from my life completely, which I feel is what I need.

    Tbh I am just waiting for September when we all move back to uni so she is away from where we live.
    Jordan
  • Han93Han93 EnglandPosts: 309 The Mix Regular
    Hi @TiredSquirrel

    I hated the whole time is the biggest healer thing to when I was trying to get over a break-up but annoyingly I think it is true. It sounds like you have an exciting, fresh start in September so maybe you can spend the next few months planning for that - look at what your course involves or what are the fun things at your new uni that you're looking forward to being a part of and start to think about this new part of your life.

    The mutual friends part sounds really tricky - have you told your friends how you're feeling? It might just be nice to get some reassurance that things won't be awkward when you're out with them and that they will support you if you have to bump into your ex.

    We also have some articles here which might be useful:
    https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/single-life-and-dating/mending-a-broken-heart-3184.html
    https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/relationships/how-do-i-get-over-a-break-up-4176.html

    TiredSquirrel
  • TiredSquirrelTiredSquirrel Posts: 28 Boards Initiate
    @Han93

    I have told them that I won't be doing things if my ex is there and they understood that. Last week when there was a gathering, my ex was there so I didn't go and apparently she said she's not gunna stop doing things with them cos of it, which is her way of saying she doesn't care.

    Just find it hard.
    Zen
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