everyday a new battle to win

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  _John Posts: 87 Budding Regular

  January 2020

  Hey @joya ,
  
  
  I get what you're saying, opening up about your mental health is just plain difficult to do and not really easy to pull off. Did this when I opened up about my mental health towards my new colleagues for the first time, and I started to slow down a little bit. That's because we haven't told the truth about the problems we've suffered in the past.
  
  Personally, I don't think that talking about your struggles to another person isn't always a "bad guy" as you said, most people will feel sorry for you and understanding that mental health is something people to worry about and the possible consequences it has, so it's a good thing that you've opened up about it.
  
  

  joya said:
  
  

  But today i waked up feeling good and in one second, everything was not good at all: my humour become darker and negative and i really have no idea why (it's always that way to be honest)

  
  

  And that's really sucks, because i just stay in a bad or sad mood for no reason; that's can be so exhaustive and so incapacitant for me thats makes me sad too.
  

  
  

  Sorry to hear that, you might had a mood-swing from what I've experienced. But don't worry though, I always had that feeling and when you're getting into that stage, I knew it's coming so maybe chemicals in the brain affect the emotions from what I've heard. When I encountered that situation, I usually get myself distracted and busy as in the way that mental health won't bother me, so it might work for you. 
  

  
  

  So if you want to be more open about your current state, talk to someone you can trust and maybe offload things that are in your head as well as keeping the conversation smooth and long as possible. I've done this before when I contacted a helpline and does a really good job, so maybe it could suit you better. It worked for me, but you can come up your own ideas too. I understand that you're trying to get to know the website more.
  
  
  You're doing really well though, so well done and keep that momentum going!
  

  
  

  "Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak."  - Sun Tzu
  

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  joya Posts: 220 Trailblazer

  January 2020

  @_John Thank you so much for your kind words!!
  
  When i said the "bad guy" thing i refered to my own brain, because looks like "he" don't like to see me being happy at all. But I agree that be open about our mental health it's something really important and can change for the better many things on our life and the way we treat ourselfs.
  
  The problem for me isn't talk about my mental health, but talk about my thoughts (ocasional thoughts, like ideas or values). I gone diagnostic with severe depression and nothing more, but my mind keep saying that i have the bipolar disorder, something that at the same time i feel i don't have, i feel i do (it's really controverse, part of me know that i'm just thinking nonsense, but other part knows that i'm a little right). Talk about these thoughts for others make me feel vulnerable, because exist the possibility that i be wrong and be ridicularizate because of it (it's that what my mind think sometimes about be open...)
  
  But at the same time, be open about these thoughts and ideas, make the topic disappear from my mind. It is really difficult to explain and i feel very paradoxal kkkkk
  
  What real happens it's that: I think about something too much, I become very obsessed with it and when I talk about it, I stop thinking too much... But it's really hard for me to talk. ^^
  
  

  _John said:

  
  

  Sorry to hear that, you might had a mood-swing from what I've experienced. But don't worry though, I always had that feeling and when you're getting into that stage, I knew it's coming so maybe chemicals in the brain affect the emotions from what I've heard. When I encountered that situation, I usually get myself distracted and busy as in the way that mental health won't bother me, so it might work for you. 
  

  
  

  So if you want to be more open about your current state, talk to someone you can trust and maybe offload things that are in your head as well as keeping the conversation smooth and long as possible. I've done this before when I contacted a helpline and does a really good job, so maybe it could suit you better. It worked for me, but you can come up your own ideas too. I understand that you're trying to get to know the website more.
  
  
  You're doing really well though, so well done and keep that momentum going!

  
  And again: thank you!!! I'll try to distract myself too, it's being a little hard to stay concetrate, but i guess that if i talk to someone and practice long talks (something i'm not used to), will help me to overcome those bad thoughts.
  
  Really, i'm very glad for what you said 
  
  And you? You're ok?
  

  everything always goes ^^

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  Han93 Posts: 309 The Mix Regular

  January 2020

  Hey @joya
  

  
  

  Glad to see you're getting some use out of The Mix.

  
  

  Sounds like you're finding it a bit confusing to work out how you're feeling. Mind have a really good website that looks at lots of different symptoms - maybe you could use it to look at bipolar and see if you recognise some of the symptoms. There are also some great self care tips for coping with bipolar which you might find useful https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/bipolar-disorder/self-care/

  
  

  joya said:

  
  

  It's day by day, winnig one battle per day too...

  I think it is so important for you to remember this! Life is a marathon, not a sprint so remember to celebrate every win, no matter how small. You should be so proud of yourself.
  

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  _John Posts: 87 Budding Regular

  January 2020 edited January 2020

  @joya  
  
  You can have a look at about my current state diary since I update it regularly.
  
  Here's my recent one. 
  
  
  
  

  "Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak."  - Sun Tzu
  

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  joya Posts: 220 Trailblazer

  January 2020

  @Han93
  
  Heyyy,, thank you for send me the link!
  
  I read the whole page and helped me a lot! I separated some topics and attitudes that fit my mood patterns and the past phases i passed; tomorrow I will talk to my therapist about these topics and who know's how is gonna be...
  
  And i'm trying to celebrate every win too, even when my moods compromise it 
  

  everything always goes ^^

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  joya Posts: 220 Trailblazer

  January 2020

  @_John
  
  I'm gonna take a look! ^^ 

  everything always goes ^^

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