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Social Anxiety is messing up my life!!!!

christinaj123christinaj123 Posts: 29 Boards Initiate
I've not been diagnosed with anything, hell your lucky I've spoke to anyone on here about it but i'm pretty convinced i have social anxiety. I feel like i need to talk about it but to someone i don't know, so i'm just going to tell my story so far. It started around the beginning of this year (2019) I don't know what brought it on but i had just came back to school after the Christmas holidays and i was sitting in class and i started to have a panic attack, at the time i didn't know what it was so i just ignored it. A wee while after that every time i went i went into school, i overthought everything and stopped talking to loads of people, at this point i still didn't know what it was. There was this one week were i started chocking and breaking into a sweat and panicking, it happened in nearly all my classes about 3 or 4 days that week, on the weekend of that week i searched in google all my symptoms and it came up that it was most likely panic attacks. From about May this year i had stopped going to certain classes, always said i wasn't feeling well or just didn't go, because i absolutely hated the feeling that everyone was laughing and talking about me and then having a panic attack because i was overthinking. It came to after the summer holidays and i had been put into new classes as it was a new year, i didn't talk to anyone or go out during the summer holidays so as you can guess i don't have any pals not even one close pal anymore. Its now November, i still absolutely hate anything where i have to socialise or talk to anyone, i still overthink every little thing everyday. I had to do a presentation in class today with someone, i refused to do it and sat at the back of the class having a panic attack even though i didn't do it. I could tell stories about all my panic attacks and overthinking every single day but that would be about 500 pages long so i just included a few of them. I do think i need help but i can't bring myself to do it. If anyone has actually sat and read this, thanks i really appreciate it and could you let me know what you think? I've also took quite a few tests on google and most of them said i should see a GP.


  • _John_John Posts: 56 Boards Initiate
    Honestly, I've literally have the same problems as you have back in time when I was in school and it left me crippled for my entire life. If you don't contribute society enough, this is what we get.

    I'd say that if you're confident enough to seek GP then yes go for it. Otherwise, talk to somebody that you're comfortable with or just being brave and try reach out others. This community will ease your feelings and one of the best around, I'm sure of it.

    You don't want to go on the same direction as I did, it got me depressed and lonely more than ever for the past few years and I feel like to don't want to seek help whatsoever.

    This is why I'm telling you that there is support out there and it's really important to do so. Hope this helps. :)

    "Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak."  - Sun Tzu
  • christinaj123christinaj123 Posts: 29 Boards Initiate
    I do want help with it, and i could talk with my pastoral care teacher or my gp but they'd need to notify my parents and i don't want anyone i know finding out 
  • _John_John Posts: 56 Boards Initiate
    edited November 2019
    I'm no expert, so seeking help is confidential in any way unless you tell them your personal information but you won't do it anyway. You could try and seek local counselling if you want to work your way through the problems you had or try, depending on where you live or how reliable they are. You don't have to meet in person though, you can just seek support online by; phone, text message, webchat etc. 

    There are many organisations you can choose from, this website of one of them.

    The fact that you said that you don't want to know your parents about it, it's really hard to open up. I still have this feeling years ago to today and I am still reluctant anyway. Glad I'm not the only one who is feeling this.

    "Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak."  - Sun Tzu
  • christinaj123christinaj123 Posts: 29 Boards Initiate
    thanks i appreciate it  :)
  • PoppyBPoppyB Posts: 219 Moderator
    edited November 2019
    Hi @christinaj123, it's great to see that you have posted on the boards about this - well done! Speaking out can be so difficult so I'm glad you've made this positive step :)

    I can tell from your post that you are really struggling with your social anxiety and the panic attacks must be really overwhelming, so it is understandable that it will be impacting on your school life.  

    Remember that you are not alone with this and we have a community of people here that are willing to listen to you and support you in whatever way we can <3

    Mind has a really helpful page on managing panic attacks here, such as focusing on your breathing, alerting your senses and speaking to someone you trust.

    @_John has given some great advice about reaching out to professionals, if you feel comfortable. The Mix also has a good article on social anxiety here, with a few ways to cope, including:
    • Do something every day that scares you as this will be super effective in reducing anxiety.
    • Rank difficult situations in order of how anxious they make you feel. Start confronting the least scary thing and gradually work your way up.   
    • Try to remain in a situation until your anxiety reduces by at least half. E.g. if you’re at a social event, try to avoid leaving as soon as you arrive.   
    • Try to focus on the present such as the conversation and the people around you to distract yourself from the way you’re acting. 
    • Challenge your thoughts. Is there any hard evidence for what you’re thinking? 
    • Try not to predict the future. If you say that a situation will be scary, the more likely it will be. 
    • Be kind to yourself. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Eg. I am kind, I am safe in social environments.  
    I hope some of that helps :) keep us updated with how you get on!
  • christinaj123christinaj123 Posts: 29 Boards Initiate
    @PoppyB thanks, im thinking i might talk to my pastoral care teacher tomorrow about it because i have her class, but i'll update yous tomorrow if i tell her or not and what she says  <3
  • PoppyBPoppyB Posts: 219 Moderator
    Hi @christinaj123 I thought I would check in and see how you're doing this week.  
    How did it go with your pastoral care teacher? :)
    Sending you lots of hugs <3
  • christinaj123christinaj123 Posts: 29 Boards Initiate
    hi @PoppyB, i was so close to telling her but i started having a panic attack and didnt do it.

    ive been doing alright, this weeks been good 

  • Jade09Jade09 EnglandPosts: 570 Moderator
    Hey @christinaj123

    It's good that you had a good week, how are things at the moment?  <3

    Have you managed to speak to your pastoral teacher?  :)
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 9,686 Supreme Poster
    That does sound really horrible. Panic attacks can literally feel soo awful, great you are still going to lessons and stuff <3. The first step is to start thinking about telling someone and that decision - can be the hardest one of them all. Its okay if you didnt manage to tell her but maybe next time youll get closer to telling her. 
    Maybe you could write it down so you dont have to speak? I know with my overthinking i literally over think how my voice sounds lol so writing it down could help, im not sure if youd agree?

    im glad this week has been good <3 do you know whats helped that? Can be good to try to recongise why. 

    I hope things go in right direction for you and that you keep seeking help! Sometimes it is good to speak to soemone you dont know so kee posting here if youd like ! <3
    if you have the strength to sustain anorexia you have the strength to overcome it
  • christinaj123christinaj123 Posts: 29 Boards Initiate
    I signed up for counselling on the mix and i'm just finished my first session and honestly even though i talked more about my family stuff instead of my anxiety today i feel a bit better 

    honestly if my mum didn't get texted when i didn't go to a class, i would barely go to any classes 

    the only bad thing about talking about it to someone i don't know is that they cant let me just walk out of class if i need to. if i just walked out of class unannounced the office would be phoned to get the head and depute head on me, id get demerits and referals, my parents would be phoned and i'd be put on a behaviour sheet for a week or two. and honestly everyone would just think i'm doing it for attention and i cant be arsed with all the drama just now 
  • StephanieStephanie Posts: 704 Super Moderator
    Hey @christinaj123

    It sounds really positive to hear that your first counselling session went okay, and that you're feeling a bit better. 

    Sending hugs, how are you doing? :heart:
                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" 

    - Albus Dumbledore 

    "Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"

  • GemmaGemma Posts: 103 Moderator
    edited December 2019
    Hi @christinaj123
    I'm glad that you're feeling a bit better after your first counselling session. Do you have more sessions booked?

    It's difficult when no one knows that you are struggling and need to take breaks at times, especially at school with classes. Sometimes knowing that you have someone who knows and supports you outside might ease the pressure and make it easier to get through it as you have people here for you at the end. 
  • christinaj123christinaj123 Posts: 29 Boards Initiate
    hi, Iv'e been good today i couldn't stop laughing all day 

    This is why I've been in a good mood today. Know how everybody jokes about having that one creepy teacher and he's just like pure creepy, well i do have a teacher like that and he always tries to talk to me but i ignore him right but today there was only 5 people in class and he was pure heavy trying to talk to me. the period before that, i told the people that were in my class how he's been talking to my big sister about me. and when he came up to me today i just burst out laughing and nearly started crying of laughter cause Liam an Emma were standing behind him staring at me and making faces and he was pure trying to get me to say why i was laughing so much it was too funny. I could tell he was getting annoyed that i wasn't talking to to him so i started talking to everyone else but him to make him even more annoyed, that made it even funnier, so i was in a good mood or the rest of the day. Anyway tomorrow is my last class with him cause he is leaving and i'm going to try annoy him again so i can be in a good mood all day because it's funny and puts me in a good mood about how annoyed he gets when i don't talk to him. Everyone in my class agrees with me that he's creepy and a little obsessed with me  :p

    i have 3 sessions of counselling left  <3
  • christinaj123christinaj123 Posts: 29 Boards Initiate
    I didn’t go to school today because I had the hospital, but my school is changing its times and my little sister who’s a year below me in s1 (year 8) said her year had an assembly and apparently the classes are getting changed about and I’m sitting here pure panicking that classes are getting switched about. I’ve just got used to the people in my classes and that was hard, I just don’t think I can cope with having to get used to another set of people to then get it changed again after choosing options for s3 (year 10)😕 
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