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TW talking about rape when I was 20

LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
in Health & Wellbeing
Can someone work out which catogrie this post should be under please. As I don't like it under sex and relationships because it wasent sex it was rape and it wasent a relationship.

It disgusts me that still Shaun was found guilty for rape but not guilty for attempted rape (he tried to ram his penis in my bum) I was 20 when it happened so I'de never done anal before. The one which hurt me the most. I just thinking about this now😥

I just thought aswell that I'de love to speak to the Woman who was in charge of the case because I havent spoken to her for years but she was lovely but I can't remember her surname. I think I know her first name but don't know her second name annoyingly😔

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    Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Not sure where it should sit but hopefully won't matter as you'll be supported all the same  <3

    I'm sorry to hear he was found guilty for rape but not for attempted... That sounds really tough. I know you said his release date is soon too. Sending massive hugs, I can only imagine how difficult the thought of that is. Have you spoken to counsellor about how you are feeling about it all? Wouldn't want you going through this alone. 

    Was the woman from the police or elsewhere? Perhaps could send an email to where she works asking whether she would talk to you, if it will help? Her first name and description would help with that anyway. 

    All the best Lubna
    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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    Han93Han93 Posts: 309 The Mix Regular
    Hey @Lubna

    I have nothing to add to Lucy's reply but just wanted to send you hugs and remind you we are all here for you <3
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    LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    I havent got a counsellor atm but I see my cpn once a week.

    She was from the police. I found an online form so I have filled that out hopefully they can track her down and ask her to get in touch with me🙂
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    LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    Ah the police lady has left and been transferred to her local police station😥 she was so nice. I wished I could speak to her🤷‍♀️
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    LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    Omg😭 only just found out the Worcester news (not living there now) published what happened back in 2015. Reading it has bought me to tears😥
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    LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear


    Does anyone know how I can comment on this?
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    LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    I think it's cause it's old I can't comment on it.
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    LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    I'm glad I found it on the same day I'm seeing my cpn though. On the way to see her now.. 
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    JamJarJamJar Posts: 274 The Mix Regular
    Hey @Lubna

    Wanted to check in and see how your conversation with your cpn went? Did you talk about the Worcester News piece you read before going in? 

    Sending hugs and positive vibes your way ✌️
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    LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    edited December 2019
    Conversation went okay with my cpn, I showed her the article and she read it herself too.

    I have felt utter saddness since I have been back from my cpn appointment😥 I tried to self harm but it hardly did anything😔
    Post edited by TheMix on
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    LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    I can't stop crying maybe it was a bad idea me coming along that article😥
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    LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    Keep thinking if it was unsucessful I'de be an inpatient during next week and I don't want to be in during Christmas😥
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    JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,306 Part of The Furniture
    edited December 2019
    Lubna said:
    Can someone work out which catogrie this post should be under please. As I don't like it under sex and relationships because it wasent sex it was rape and it wasent a relationship.
    Just chipping in super briefly to clarify this. It's whatever you prefer, really. It's completely fine to classify conversations around sexual assault as a Health & Wellbeing issue (I agree it's probably not right to put them under Sex & Relationships). I've moved this to H&WB now. :)
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    hey how are you feeling now Lubna. ? Now its been few days since came across the article. Hooe youre okay
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    LubnaLubna Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    **no judgement or negative comments just want to be heard**

    For the past few days I've been bleeding from my back passage. When I wipe there is blood on the tissue. It's really painful to poo aswell. 

    I know it's not a period because it's coming from my back passage and having pain when I try and poo.

    I'm not sure if I have collitus because my mum has it too or if it's from an injury from when I was raped but my mum is'nt really helping because she said how can I be bleeding from an injury from when I was raped because the rape happened years ago but I've never gone back to a gp so it's not been sorted so to me I could still be bleeding from an injury from the rape. It's not constant bleeding or pain. It's just every now and then since I got raped.

    I have been to a gp before because I think I have collitus but they said they need to do a bottom examination but no-body should be evan asking me the question why I don't want a bottom examination..because I have been raped! But I'm just thinking now I have bite the bullet and have a bottom examination to see what's going on but I'm so scared and worried about having a bottom examination. Has anyone had one before? I'm sure the gp will talk me through it aswell but just wanted to ask on here first.

    Also I want to know if I do have any injuries from the rape because if I don't then that will clear it from my mind. The doctor who did my rape kit said I had brusing and I'm sure he also said a tear at the time too.

    This all hasent been significant to me and still really is'nt. Do you think I should go and see a gp? I have lived in the house I'm living in now for 4 months and havent evan changed my gp surgery yet because if I had a list these kind of things would be at the bottom of my list because it dosent feel important or I don't feel important.
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    mags98mags98 Posts: 287 The Mix Regular
    hi @Lubna,

    I don't know much about this or have experience. It might be worth going to your GP about it, as you said it will clear it from your mind if it's not from your rape and put you at ease knowing what it is from.

    I think this post might be worth making a separate discussion for as people who have knowledge or experience might be able to find it easier. Would you be comfortable with that? 
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