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Scared *triggering*

Jacob101Jacob101 Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
Yesterday like 10 minutes before seeing my counsellor i so nearly attempted to take my own life, i then went to see my therapist as normal and i wrote down what happened and he advised i go to A&E but i didnt because i didnt want others worrying about me, i bet the doctors would do nothing anyway and i dont want to be sat waiting for hours on end to be told they cant do anything. Just no point.

I woke up this morning feeling like someone is stamping on my head, got the worst headache and my strong suicidal thoughts are back (i know this isnt a crisis support service) and i really regret not going to A&E while i had the opportunity, im trying to keep myself safe by sitting on the sofa listening to music and watching some TV, hopefully that will work. I am not in immediate danger and i have no plans, its just these thoughts are so consuming. Im tempted to call up the doctors but the receptionist will likely question why im calling and my GP is working all day today and i really want to talk to him but i would have to lie to the receptionist to actually access a call with him. He said i could call anytime when hes working but the doctor on call on each day is the only one who answers emergency telephone appointments and i dont want to talk to any other doctor. He could possibly be the on call doctor today but i dont know, im too anxious to find out.
''You were in the wilderness
Looking for your own purpose
Then you became a butterfly, a butterfly
I knew you always would''

- James Arthur (YOU)

Comments

  • CarolineVCarolineV Posts: 133 The Mix Convert
    Hi Jacob

    I hope posting here helped you slightly, and that things are a little easier today. Did you manage to contact your GP?

    It's great that you have some methods to keep yourself safe, like watching TV, it's really positive that you were able to try and distract yourself like that, as well as reaching out to us.

    Remember that services such as Samaritans and our Crisis Messenger service are there if you need them. How are things going for you today?

    Sending lots of good wishes
    Caroline
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