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Making friends 21+

So I've been feeling like I need to make some friends this summer because one of my current problems is that I'm feeling lonely.
Only thing is, is that as an adult now (don't feel like it) I'm not sure how to meet people.
Most people my age like clubbing but I don't. I'm not into sports. My creative passions were all ruined by school so I can't meet people through a fun hobby. 
Do you see my dilemma? 
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Comments

  • Lucy307Lucy307 Extreme Poster UKPosts: 617 Extreme Poster
    Hey Butterfly06,

    Totally understandable, not all of us have hobbies etc that allow us to be sociable with new people (me included!!!) so I get it, it's so hard. 

    One of my friends from school recently moved to Bristol, was lonely and found it difficult to meet people, she used this website https://www.meetup.com/ where you can put in your interests and social preferences etc and get put with a group of your choice. She chose to join a group called Bristol Girl with lots of other females her age and had a really, really brilliant time. Apparently they are really friendly to newbies and take it upon themselves to really welcome you in. I think it's a really lovely concept.

    What would you think about doing something like that? 

    - Lucy  :) 
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
    Butterfly06
  • PuffinEthicsPuffinEthics Posts: 74 Moderator
    Hi there @Butterfly06

    I see your dilemma, but I would say a lot of people also feel like this in their 20s, which means something can be done. 

    I find it hard to make friends. I tend to meet people through work, or through writing and performing poetry and that really helps me. Poetry is something I started in my early 20s, and its helped me socially a lot, but just in the way any hobby would really. 

    I've never really made friends out in clubs, or through sports too much, and you say your creative interests were kinda discouraged by school, that doesn't mean you couldn't start something new? Going to a club or something could really help you just socialise with people. 

    It basically works like, you have to be somewhere to meet people, and you have to have a common interest for you to hang out again, doesn't it? So starting a new hobby is a perfect way to do that, and if its something weekly you'll get chance after chance to see who you click with, which takes away some of the pressure. 

    You say your feeling lonely, has anything in particular made you notice this? 

    I hope your feeling okay, and we're all here to listen. 

    Thank you, 

    Puffin Ethics


    Butterfly06
  • Candlestick56Candlestick56 Posts: 90 Miniposter
    Hi @Butterfly06,

    How about volunteering? Have you heard of https://do-it.org/ ? They have loads of different categories so I'm sure you'd be able to find something interesting. I found it a really good way to make friends as an adult in London when I moved back here and was feeling really lonely. 

    Good luck! I'm sure you'll meet some good people soon :)
    Butterfly06
  • SophJayne94SophJayne94 Posts: 45 Cool Newbie
    I know how you feel joining a app or website scares me so much 💖
  • ellyelly Posts: 10 Fast Newbie
    So I've been feeling like I need to make some friends this summer because one of my current problems is that I'm feeling lonely.
    Only thing is, is that as an adult now (don't feel like it) I'm not sure how to meet people.
    Most people my age like clubbing but I don't. I'm not into sports. My creative passions were all ruined by school so I can't meet people through a fun hobby. 
    Do you see my dilemma? 
    I know exactly how you feel and that's the main reason I joined this website. It definitely gets harder as you get older!
    SophJayne94
  • SophJayne94SophJayne94 Posts: 45 Cool Newbie
    Please forgive me I am sorry I don’t know why put I didn’t get a notification through in emails about this and it’s hard using my phone for this site so if you see this please get in touch I would love to talk to you Elly but if you dont then it’s fine it was a genuine mistake 😭💖💖
  • EyepatchEyepatch Posts: 389 Rampant Poster
    I have a similar issue, living on my own and none of my friends are close by. I like chatting online, even being on here makes me feel less lonely :) Fun hobbies can be hard to find as many new things are difficult at first, try looking for craft clubs on your area, they are very kind and like to teach people new skills, I go to an embroidery club and I have a lot of fun even though I never really work on embroidery in my free time. Getting a bike or some other way to travel is good too, as you find more things to do. 

    When joining an app or new website try to keep in mind that you can always walk away from the computer or put down the phone. You are not stuck there and don't have to check in everyday. :)

    Discord is a chatting app where you can be invited to groups, there are loads for gaming, discussions and other topics too, you just have to find an invite link or ask people for groups you can join. 
    "Sometimes we find ourselves stuck between choosing what is right, and what is easy." 
    Butterfly06
  • EyepatchEyepatch Posts: 389 Rampant Poster
    I just realized, you could even start a chat in anything goes about a topic you like :) Then you have loads of people to chat too online as well as looking for places to meet people offline :) 
    "Sometimes we find ourselves stuck between choosing what is right, and what is easy." 
    Butterfly06
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