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Nervous of my Dad's idea for summer

L100L100 Fast NewbiePosts: 128 The Mix Convert
i'm currently worrying about summer which will be in July which isn't very far away
So bassically afteri had a big argument with my mum saturday. My dad said in the summer said he'll pay for my own house in England help pay for things like the neccersarites like chlothes, food, bills etc.. but transfering a x amount of money into my bank account till i find a job and have enough money to pay for things myself. So i can get used to living on my own like i will in the future but i'm worried as and my mums agreed.

1, i have things i love in my current house like my hamster, xbox games etc....
2. I don't want to loose my nearby friend as i've already lost friends from moving different primary schools.
3. My college is easy to get too from where i live and i might be staying on in september
4. I'll have to change my address on my bank card/ provisional license etc....
5. i'm worried there's be more crime in that area as in my county which branches into over 20 different towns the town i currently live in is the town that is least likely to have crime.
6. My hobbies like cycling i'm worried i won't be able to cycle as much as i currently do.

these are a few points there's other things as well.

Comments

  • MirabelleMirabelle Owl Whisperer Kensington.Posts: 1,020 The Mix Regular
    Your father is doing something great; it's called tough love. Bearing in mind you will always have worries about how things are going to work out, the greatest offer he is promising is to buy you a property so you won't ever have to worry finding rent, or pay large monthly sums for a mortgage. Most young people have to wait years to save up for a deposit before a bank or building society would consider getting them a foothold on the property ladder. Instead, your father is bypassing all that to ensure his daughter, namely you, will have a roof over her head. Also money for clothes, food and utility bills paid upfront. Your father, despite whatever you feel about him, must care for you an awful lot.

    1. You may love your current home with its comforts including your beloved hampster (it will come with you I expect), but xbox games may have to wait.
    2. If your friend is loving enough, then they keep in contact.
    3. College may have to become a commute
    4. Changing addresses / contactable information is a necessity wherever you move and you may have to do this several times during the course of your life
    5. Crime is everywhere, even in the sleepy little village where I live. We cannot get away from crime, but can look after ourselves throughout. More on that shortly.
    6. You can always work around your hobbies.

    Wherever you move, you will never have the perfect life. Live in town and you'll have street noise. Live out in the sticks and the silence will be deafening. There again, the dawn chorus in the country is beautiful as are the stars at night for the lack of street lamps.

    Regarding (5): crime, learning some situational awareness can keep you from being attacked. Being vigilant will reduce risk of burglary, allsorts.

    Growing up before our time is tough; I know the feeling well. I inherited a fully furnished country house, but the sting in its tail was its mammoth utility bills. Instead, I work full time as a musician and my hobbies are doing a degree course which I use as part of my self-care. The rest eventually fell into place when my adoptive aunt and family contributed towards utility bills, and the rest I sort of muddle through one day at a time. Also to earn cash, I street busk; it's part of fending for myself. So really, you like me must count our blessings. Toughen up and the bite the bullet of life. Anxiety incidentally is treatable, and we have to find ways of coping with it.

    Tough love? Tough love is good, though you'll disagree for a while! It's certain your cosy life is going to be seriously disrupted, but it won't be forever and, you'll have a roof over your head. Head of your household, you will make your own rules and a omfy bed to sleep on. Looking back, I found ways of getting by. Even at 17.


    'If you think education is expensive, try estimating the cost of ignorance'.

    - Howard Gardner
  • L100L100 Fast Newbie Posts: 128 The Mix Convert
    Mirabelle wrote: »
    Your father is doing something great; it's called tough love. Bearing in mind you will always have worries about how things are going to work out, the greatest offer he is promising is to buy you a property so you won't ever have to worry finding rent, or pay large monthly sums for a mortgage. Most young people have to wait years to save up for a deposit before a bank or building society would consider getting them a foothold on the property ladder. Instead, your father is bypassing all that to ensure his daughter, namely you, will have a roof over her head. Also money for clothes, food and utility bills paid upfront. Your father, despite whatever you feel about him, must care for you an awful lot.

    1. You may love your current home with its comforts including your beloved hampster (it will come with you I expect), but xbox games may have to wait.
    2. If your friend is loving enough, then they keep in contact.
    3. College may have to become a commute
    4. Changing addresses / contactable information is a necessity wherever you move and you may have to do this several times during the course of your life
    5. Crime is everywhere, even in the sleepy little village where I live. We cannot get away from crime, but can look after ourselves throughout. More on that shortly.
    6. You can always work around your hobbies.

    Wherever you move, you will never have the perfect life. Live in town and you'll have street noise. Live out in the sticks and the silence will be deafening. There again, the dawn chorus in the country is beautiful as are the stars at night for the lack of street lamps.

    Regarding (5): crime, learning some situational awareness can keep you from being attacked. Being vigilant will reduce risk of burglary, allsorts.

    Growing up before our time is tough; I know the feeling well. I inherited a fully furnished country house, but the sting in its tail was its mammoth utility bills. Instead, I work full time as a musician and my hobbies are doing a degree course which I use as part of my self-care. The rest eventually fell into place when my adoptive aunt and family contributed towards utility bills, and the rest I sort of muddle through one day at a time. Also to earn cash, I street busk; it's part of fending for myself. So really, you like me must count our blessings. Toughen up and the bite the bullet of life. Anxiety incidentally is treatable, and we have to find ways of coping with it.

    Tough love? Tough love is good, though you'll disagree for a while! It's certain your cosy life is going to be seriously disrupted, but it won't be forever and, you'll have a roof over your head. Head of your household, you will make your own rules and a omfy bed to sleep on. Looking back, I found ways of getting by. Even at 17.


    Thanks and thinking of the positive side one of my college friends mum did the same thing like my dad's going to be doing. My dad said it'll probably be in the same county and i would easily be able to get to town by bus/train. I know crime is everywhere it's just you rarely hear of crime happening in my area and we rarely have street noise apart from dogs barking compared to other areas nearer to town because my county is big. i'm always aware of my surroundings whenever i go out. I know this sounds stupid but when i started school i was both a bully and got bullied but the way .i stopped myself reacting to bullies/idiots and bullying as i just find it hard to open up to people is that i either get my anger out in xbox games like killing random people on the games and through cycling or both and if i'm not able to do those things when i do move in the summer. I feel i might get back to my old habits when i don't want to especially when i was in minor trobule with the police once.
  • MirabelleMirabelle Owl Whisperer Kensington.Posts: 1,020 The Mix Regular
    L100 wrote: »

    Thanks and thinking of the positive side one of my college friends mum did the same thing like my dad's going to be doing. My dad said it'll probably be in the same county and i would easily be able to get to town by bus/train. I know crime is everywhere it's just you rarely hear of crime happening in my area and we rarely have street noise apart from dogs barking compared to other areas nearer to town because my county is big. i'm always aware of my surroundings whenever i go out. I know this sounds stupid but when i started school i was both a bully and got bullied but the way .i stopped myself reacting to bullies/idiots and bullying as i just find it hard to open up to people is that i either get my anger out in xbox games like killing random people on the games and through cycling or both and if i'm not able to do those things when i do move in the summer. I feel i might get back to my old habits when i don't want to especially when i was in minor trobule with the police once.

    Thanks for your reply. :)

    I should think though once you have settled into your lovely house your father will have given, instead of xbox gaming you'll play with the paint brush. Renovating homes is quite satisfying, and you'll get to choose the decor you want plus shopping around for furniture bargains. Also if your house has the space, building a stud wall and making another bedroom will vastly increase the value of your property. All that considered, I doubt you'll have time or the energy to return to your old habits. ;)
    'If you think education is expensive, try estimating the cost of ignorance'.

    - Howard Gardner
  • PuffinEthicsPuffinEthics Posts: 74 Moderator
    Hi @L100 ,

    Have you been able to speak to your parents calmly after the argument? How are you feeling after the argument now?

    I can understand how this is a big change and that can be quite nerve racking. But it sounds like your Dad is going to be helping you through it all with support?
    It is a big change, but I'm sure there will be some good opportunities?

    Maybe you could try speaking to your Dad about the worries you have, and that might clear some of it up for you. This link about moving into your own home could help too http://www.themix.org.uk/apps-and-tools/home-truths

    Just to address your worries...

    1. Are you going to be able to take your hamster and your xbox with you?
    2. It may be harder to see the friend, and you may not see them as often but you could still maintain the friendship.
    3. Would it be in cycling distance, because that may help with number 6?
    4. Normally you can just go into the bank and tell them your new address its very easy, and provisional license I didn't change for a while when I moved, but then just sent off for a new card on https://www.gov.uk/change-address-driving-licence
    5. Crime statistics can be misleading, its good to be careful, but what worries you particularly about crime?
    6. The amount you can cycle may change but you can always make it a priority to do it, on weekends or evenings in the summer.

    What ideally would you like to happen?

    Hope your okay,

    Puffin Ethics:rainbow2:
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