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Lost all motivation

The hardest thing for me to do is talk. When talking to others, or posting on social media I portray this idea that my life is okay. When in reality I feel like everything is crumbling down around me.

I feel like I should appreciate everything I have going on in my life; I have a family who I know love me, I'm at university, I have friends. Somehow I just cant. I hate myself, I feel like I'm not worth it, and nothing that I ever do is good enough. I know there have been several issues that have built up to how I feel now. I spend my nights either drinking to forget, and making all the wrong decisions, or alone in my room crying. I don't really know what the next step is, but I know I need to change something.

Comments

  • MirabelleMirabelle Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    First of all, welcome to our forums, @GillyWeed :)

    Many on the forum and chats have been very good to me, so you are not alone in your struggle talking about real life things. I promise you that many will be supportive. All too often we hide our feelings for fear of opening up, because to do so we become vulnerable, but that feeling is natural. Here though is a link to chats we have on most nights, so you can get help from very caring people, people who will encourage you to reach out and do it in a gentle way.

    http://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/group-chat

    To have achieved university is absolutely great, but this fantastic place of learning can be daunting, so you must look after your health while there. Here is an excellent guide on how to look after your mental health at university.

    http://www.themix.org.uk/work-and-study/student-life/looking-after-your-mental-health-when-starting-university-25015.html

    And it is from here that you can begin making changes - just baby steps, even - because you have recognised the need to change something.

    I look forward to getting to know you more, and wish you all the very best.

    ~ Belle x
  • tashtastictashtastic Posts: 30 Boards Initiate
    Hey GillyWeed

    Just want to say it's great that you've decided to talk about how you feel :)

    I know how scary it can be open up to your friends and family, especially when everything is okay on the surface. I've felt very similar to you in that I felt like there was nothing in my life that could justify how I felt. Something I've learnt though is that the the most important thing is not why we aren't feeling okay, it's about how we can make ourselves feel better again.

    If you're okay to talk about how you feel, you can try getting in touch with the wellbeing service in your area and see what they recommend. Your friends and family won't have to know what is going on if you don't want them to. The easiest way to access this is through your gp, but you can try contacting the services directly as well.

    It might take months before your referral is processed though, so in the meantime you could try the one to one chat on the mix, or calling our helpline 0808 808 4994

    You can always talk on here or pm if you want a chat

    Hope this helps

    Tash *hug*
  • MochanMochan Posts: 65 Boards Initiate
    Hi @GillyWeed. Welcome to the forum. Thank you for taking the time to share what sounds like a tough experience that you're having. The first thing you said is that talking is the hardest thing for you to do. Taking the first step to start talking on this forum is something to be proud of. It's never easy to admit to anyone in person or online that you're struggling with something.

    You aren't alone in portraying the idea that your life is okay, but doing so can sometimes make us feel our life is okay. You can also appreciate what you have and still feel down. It sounds like you're a really caring person but that something is causing you to feel like everything is crumbling around you.

    Can you tell us more? It's been a few days since you first posted. How are you feeling today?
  • GillyWeedGillyWeed Posts: 2 Newbie
    Hi guys,

    Firstly I'd like to say thank you for listening, and responding. I feel like everything is so complicated just now, and instead of it just being one thing, how I feel is a chain reaction of events. I feel like I'm stuck in a vicious cycle that I can't get out off. Its always the same, I try and keep myself busy in the day. I just feel I can't do anything right at the moment. Its making my assignments impossible, and I feel like I'm shutting everyone out. The day is okay, it's the nights where it all comes crashing down on top of me. I know I need to speak to someone, but I find speaking to someone online so much easier than in person. I don't think I'd have the courage to speak to someone.
  • RileyRiley Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey there GillyWeed.

    Firstly I'd like to say great job on feeling comfortable enough to talk about your issues here, lots of people find it hard to talk about what they're dealing with so it's understandable that you'd have trouble talking in person. If you feel more comfortable talking about your problems on here then that's great, we're always here to listen! Even if what you're dealing with feels way too complicated to deal with just talking about what's bothering you can be a great first step.

    Other than that there are a lot of great resources out there for you to try and figure out what you're going through or talk about your problems. A lot of these services have e-mail or online support available to so that might be a little easier for you to deal with. If you want you can try checking out Mind https://www.mind.org.uk/ and SANE http://www.sane.org.uk/home as they both have a ton of great information as well as contact details like I said. You also mentioned that you have particular problems at night, are you managing to sleep okay at the moment?

    I hope you find what I've said useful and as I said if you want to talk about how you're feeling the boards are a great place to do it.

    - Riley

    P.S Welcome to the boards!
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  • nish215nish215 Posts: 64 Boards Initiate
    Hi GillyWeed

    It's a great step forward in the right direction that you're opening up, even if it is online. You can try talking to your GP if you find it difficult to talk about how you're feeling, because they can offer you the right support in a confidential and safe environment.
    Mind https://www.mind.org.uk is also a great website you can use for more information and it also has a helpline so you can talk about how you're feeling in a more relaxed way without having to physically face them. If that's not an option you can even text them.

    We're always here to talk! :)

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