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whats youre thoughts on oral?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm 26 years of age and have never given a blow job a guy only just recently went down on me and I did enjoy it but I got up after like 2 minutes because it was a new experience for me he kept saying please please and about 2 days later I gave in and I did it I just did it for like 2-3 minutes and then was like what the hell am I doing and got up I ruined the mood quite abit because of my past holds me back from really enjoying myself and then he went in a mood turned over started giggling and then casually said 10 I was like what he said I rate you 10 out of 10 I'm unsure if he was being nice but how could I be rated 10 out of 10 when its the first time I did it ??

​I always thought it was dirty as I was told it was but now I feel a little different about it ?

​after all that we ended up having sex for the first time about 10 minutes after I was on top and he was like go slow slow slow and then within 2 minutes he came why so fast? should I be offended ?

Comments

  • peachysoopeachysoo Posts: 151 The Mix convert
    Hey @shawty1992,

    In my opinion, there is absolutely nothing wrong, or "dirty", about oral sex, so long as it is fully consensual (and not breaking any laws!!). That said, people are entitled to their opinions and may disagree with my view (i.e. believe it is "dirty"). But that is still an opinion, and you are just as entitled to your own opinion as they are, so if you don't think it's so bad anymore, that is absolutely okay! You are allowed to grow and change your mind.

    Please don't pressure yourself, nor let anyone else pressure you, into doing anything you're not so comfortable with. Ultimately, your safety and comfort should be your priority; who cares if it 'ruins the mood'?

    I'm not quite sure on what you mean with the 10 and giggling, but if you feel a bit apprehensive about that (to me, it seems a bit objectifying, personally) then it would be something worth mentioning to your partner, and maybe this could help you feel more sure.

    I, nor anyone else, can't really tell you whether you should or shouldn't be offended, with the last situation. I think that offence is a personal thing, so no two people are necessarily going to be offended by the same thing.

    Best wishes,
    -peachysoo
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 617 Extreme Poster
    Hi @shawty1992[/USER], I agree with [USER="102038"]peachysoo here I don't think it's dirty as long as you are both happy with it and are able to enjoy it! That said, remember it's your choice to do whatever you feel comfortable with, and please say no to anything you are uncomfortable with. There is no rush with these things!

    It sounds like the 10/10 line was just to let you know he enjoyed it and I personally don't think you need to be offended that he came quickly, I would assume that was because he was enjoying it. I would encourage you to ask him if you are worried about anything though, it's good to talk about these things! How are you feeling about it all now? Has it progressed since then?

    - Lucy :rainbow:
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • Hey
    @shawty1992
    ,

    ​I don't think oral sex is dirty either as long as you have both consented to it.

    ​Try not to worry or feel bad about 'ruining the mood' - sex (including oral sex) is meant to be enjoyed by both people, you have the right to stop at any time if you change your mind or if you don't feel fully comfortable in the situation.

    It is also completely fine to change your view on oral sex. Now that you have had this experience, you may find it useful to think about exactly why and how your views have changed, and if you want to continue engaging in oral sex in the future. Remember that there is no wrong or right answer to this, and absolutely no pressure to come to a final decision right away.

    Your partner may have rated you a 10 out of 10 to make you feel more comfortable and confident, but it may be worth asking what they meant by it if it's bothering you!

    If you did feel offended in that situation then no-one can tell you that you were wrong for feeling that way - your feelings are always valid. Again, try bringing this up in conversation with your partner to put your mind at ease.

    ​- Esther :)
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