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Some advice

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I just don't know what to do tbh. I think this lad like me but I part of me thinks he doesn't and it is just a game/ playing with my feelings as I had this done back in March up until middle of June by a different lad which it was horrible and creepy.

This is what happens when he sees me: always smiles, laugh's at what I say, says take care, looks to see where I am, always listen's to what I say, interested in what I say, always looks at me and laugh when I laugh.

Comments

  • SunshineSoulSunshineSoul Relationship Squadee Posts: 57 Boards Initiate
    Hi Stormy :)

    ​Thanks for posting, sorry to hear that you had your feelings hurt by someone you liked previously. I understand it can be difficult to gauge what people are feeling/thinking especially when it comes to romantic partners and when we like them back it can feel 100x harder to suss them out and move forward in fear of rejection. Although the behaviour you listed could be that this guy is into you, they could also just be a super friendly person so I would suggest speaking to them next time you see them.

    ​Do you feel confident to ask this guy to spend some time with you so you are able to get to know each other more? It doesn't need to be a 'date' but could just be a casual meet up for example going for coffee. That way, you will know whether he would be interested or not and you can take it from there. If he doesn't seem too keen then you know how far your relationship will go and you can try to put romantic feelings to rest, but if he is then you can explore your relationship further.

    ​Feelings and relationships can take time to develop so don't feel as if you need to rush into anything - you can always be friends first, there's no need for any labels. This guy could be in the same boat as you and worried to make the first move so communicating is the best answer - also a little bit of flirting doesn't hurt anybody. ;) Don't feel pressured to do this straight away just go with the moment and let things develop naturally.

    ​Good luck, let us know how it goes and if you need any more advice you know where to find us!

    - Sunny :rainbow:



  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Stormy :)

    ​Thanks for posting, sorry to hear that you had your feelings hurt by someone you liked previously. I understand it can be difficult to gauge what people are feeling/thinking especially when it comes to romantic partners and when we like them back it can feel 100x harder to suss them out and move forward in fear of rejection. Although the behaviour you listed could be that this guy is into you, they could also just be a super friendly person so I would suggest speaking to them next time you see them.

    ​Do you feel confident to ask this guy to spend some time with you so you are able to get to know each other more? It doesn't need to be a 'date' but could just be a casual meet up for example going for coffee. That way, you will know whether he would be interested or not and you can take it from there. If he doesn't seem too keen then you know how far your relationship will go and you can try to put romantic feelings to rest, but if he is then you can explore your relationship further.

    ​Feelings and relationships can take time to develop so don't feel as if you need to rush into anything - you can always be friends first, there's no need for any labels. This guy could be in the same boat as you and worried to make the first move so communicating is the best answer - also a little bit of flirting doesn't hurt anybody. ;) Don't feel pressured to do this straight away just go with the moment and let things develop naturally.

    ​Good luck, let us know how it goes and if you need any more advice you know where to find us!

    - Sunny :rainbow:



    Hey Sunshine Soul,

    You're welcome. I never liked the other lad gave him no signs nothing but he wouldn't take no. Okay but I don't have any confidence to ask tbh as I would feel I would be laughed at. Thank you for the help and advice. :)
  • SunshineSoulSunshineSoul Relationship Squadee Posts: 57 Boards Initiate
    @Stormy93 Ah, I see well I'm sorry you had to go through that, unwanted attention can be very difficult to handle. I am glad to have offered some help, if you do not feel confident to approach him yet then don't worry, keep talking to him like you have been and see where that leads. I am sure that over time your confidence will improve as you get to know him more and if you still feel the same way, then you'll be ready to make that move when the time is right. :)

    ​- Sunny :rainbow:

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    @Stormy93 Ah, I see well I'm sorry you had to go through that, unwanted attention can be very difficult to handle. I am glad to have offered some help, if you do not feel confident to approach him yet then don't worry, keep talking to him like you have been and see where that leads. I am sure that over time your confidence will improve as you get to know him more and if you still feel the same way, then you'll be ready to make that move when the time is right. :)

    ​- Sunny :rainbow:


    You're welcome and okay but I only see him when I go into the shop he works in and when he serves me that we speak.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Stormy!

    Being confident that someone is genuinely into you is difficult for many people, even after knowing each other for a while. Doubt is a difficult emotion to deal with and is especially harsh when it comes to relationships.

    I agree with SunshineSoul here, there's nothing to worry about and there's no time pressure. Just keeping on talking to him sounds like a good plan. Perhaps, if you're not already doing so, you could gradually extend your conversations over time (with small talk, asking questions such as "this must be a fun job, right?"). Hopefully this will help improve your confidence as well as gauge if he truly is into you without asking him to meet up with you. :)

    Hope this helps,
    ~Kaze
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kaze wrote: »
    Hi Stormy!

    Being confident that someone is genuinely into you is difficult for many people, even after knowing each other for a while. Doubt is a difficult emotion to deal with and is especially harsh when it comes to relationships.

    I agree with SunshineSoul here, there's nothing to worry about and there's no time pressure. Just keeping on talking to him sounds like a good plan. Perhaps, if you're not already doing so, you could gradually extend your conversations over time (with small talk, asking questions such as "this must be a fun job, right?"). Hopefully this will help improve your confidence as well as gauge if he truly is into you without asking him to meet up with you. :)

    Hope this helps,
    ~Kaze

    Hi Kaze,

    Thank you for the reply and advice. :) I worry over nothing really and doubt everything. :( So he doen't like me? I have jumped to the wrong conclusion.
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 971 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi Stormy

    Sounds like you are in a bit of a confusing situation and you don't feel confident enough to pursue this guy at the moment. That's OK, there is no rush with these things, you can build your confidence and friendship with him up slowly. I like Kaze's idea of making small talk with him when you see him, like "how's your day going?" "have you been busy today?". It sounds like you would like to get to know him and this is a good, friendly way of starting that.

    It is completely normal to feel doubtful about whether someone likes you, it's part of being human. It's a shame we can't read their minds to know what they think of us!! The closest we can get to that is to talk, and that can take time.

    - Lucy :)
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lucy307 wrote: »
    Hi Stormy

    Sounds like you are in a bit of a confusing situation and you don't feel confident enough to pursue this guy at the moment. That's OK, there is no rush with these things, you can build your confidence and friendship with him up slowly. I like Kaze's idea of making small talk with him when you see him, like "how's your day going?" "have you been busy today?". It sounds like you would like to get to know him and this is a good, friendly way of starting that.

    It is completely normal to feel doubtful about whether someone likes you, it's part of being human. It's a shame we can't read their minds to know what they think of us!! The closest we can get to that is to talk, and that can take time.

    - Lucy :)

    Hi Lucy,

    I agree with what you say but I have no confidence around anything tbh and I always feel like I will get laughed at. I agree I wish we could read minds.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Should I find him on social media and go from there?
  • SunshineSoulSunshineSoul Relationship Squadee Posts: 57 Boards Initiate
    Stormy93 wrote: »
    Should I find him on social media and go from there?

    Before you send a send a friend request, it may be a good idea to assess the level of "friendship" you have with this lad. I would suggest that if you're always speaking to one another in the shop it may be a good idea to bring up Facebook/Instagram etc. in person and then suggesting to friend/follow from there so that he'll expect a request. I understand the difficulties of social media etiquette with new acquaintances and what I find easiest when I get along with someone is to flat out ask them if they'd mind me adding them. After all social media is meant for socialising and if you're getting on well I'm sure he won't mind.

    ​- Sunny :rainbow:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

    Before you send a send a friend request, it may be a good idea to assess the level of "friendship" you have with this lad. I would suggest that if you're always speaking to one another in the shop it may be a good idea to bring up Facebook/Instagram etc. in person and then suggesting to friend/follow from there so that he'll expect a request. I understand the difficulties of social media etiquette with new acquaintances and what I find easiest when I get along with someone is to flat out ask them if they'd mind me adding them. After all social media is meant for socialising and if you're getting on well I'm sure he won't mind.

    ​- Sunny :rainbow:

    Okay, thank you I'll do that. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ooops sorry I clicked to many times to post.
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 971 Part of The Mix Family
    Let us know how you get on, Stormy :)
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lucy307 wrote: »
    Let us know how you get on, Stormy :)

    I will do. :-)
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