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How can I say I'm not into that - without having my head bitten off?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
On many occasions people have started talking to me about their hobbies, interests, likes & dislikes etc. I've honestly and politely replied that I don't share them. On a high proportion of those instances, they've talked down to me in a patronising way, telling me that I'm boring/dull, "a bell-end", "a prick", "a faggot", "a retard" etc. for not being into what they're into. Many of them tell me that they "couldn't go a day/night/week/weekend" without watching/doing certain things and can't understand how I do.

In many cases I don't even understand who or what they're talking about, because our points of reference are so different. It often feels like I'm metaphorically on a different wavelength or speaking a different language to them. On one occasion, someone was talking to me about how we're doing in Europe, how we're doing better than some countries and worse than others, how we've got better or worse during particular years etc. I thought that he was talking about the economies of various countries and how we compare to them. For me, it was a Eurozone/EU/economic/political conversation. It was only after several minutes, when he mentioned "being beaten on penalties", that I realised that he was talking about a football tournament. He'd mentioned people whom I hadn't heard of, but I thought at the time that they must be politicians/economists etc. and didn't want to ask who they were because I didn't want to seem uninformed by having not heard of them. After he said what he was actually talking about, I realise that they must be football players/managers/referees etc.

Is there a good way to say that I'm not into something, without a high risk of eliciting an angry, patronising, puzzled response from them?

It's difficult for me to start a conversation with new people about my interests, because most people aren't into what I'm into. If I say: "Have you seen the latest episode of Drifters?", the vast majority of people haven't a clue what I'm talking about and don't want to know.

Comments

  • plugitinplugitin Noob Posts: 2,197 The Mix Regular
    I think for both sides it's a case of give and take. Someone might start a conversation with me about something that I have absolutely no interest in but it's polite to try and show an interest, ask some questions before trying to move the conversation on. And I would expect it of whoever I was talking to - if they shut me down I would find them rude and it would immediately make me feel negatively towards them.

    If after this it turns out you have absolutely nothing in common, then fine, move on - but it's worth trying to move the conversation on before saying it's not your thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been polite when I've said that I don't share their interests. I haven't insulted them or talked down to them.

    The problem with me asking them questions is that it gives them the impression that I share their interests and that encourages them to talk about those things to me all the more - both on that occasion and on future occasions.

    I do move on - but I've been on the end of this sort of exchange with many different people.
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