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Sudden realisation

CharlotteCharlotte Posts: 229 Trailblazer
in Health & Wellbeing
Today I hashit me hard, a year ago today I was so positive, I remember this day a year ago well. Having an amazing time and living life to the full without a care at all. Creating new friends. A year today it was freezing cold but it was a good time.

What's happened? Why has it changed? I wish I was able to answer these questions myself but I don't have any idea. It's so annoying how things can change so quickly.

Sorry
Harriet

Comments

  • micamica Deactivated Posts: 98 Budding Regular
    Hi Harriet,

    I'm sorry to hear you've had such an upsetting realisation. I know it can be really frustrating to feel like you're going backward, especially when you don't know why.While I can't answer your questions of what has happened or changed, I really do empathise with how I think you're feeling. This might sound a little cliche, but i think it's worth saying-- know that you're on a two way street. Yes, you feel like you've gone backwards, but you're not stuck there. You can (and I truly believe you will) move forwards in time too. Life is not static; we move forward and backwards on our two way street and that's okay. If the metaphor doesn't make sense, or is not helpful, I apologise. My main message is just that I believe in your ability to become positive again.

    Something to think about might be one small thing you can do that would move you closer to being as positive as you were?

    Hugs *hug*

    -Mica
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    Hey Harriet.
    Its so horrible and upsetting when something suddenly hits you. Especially when you remember when you was happy but not now.

    Unfortunately i also don't have your answers. But maybe thinking of how you was then makes you move motivation to get better and makes you realise it will all be worth it. Once you get to that place again and to back to feeling happy. Because I feel that you will because you seem really lovely and you deserve to be happy

    Here if you need someone to listen to you!x
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • CharlotteCharlotte Posts: 229 Trailblazer
    Thanks shaunie and mica, I understand that no one will be able to ever answer thouse question, I might even never be able to hopeful I will be able to in the future.

    I have just over a year to make this better again, but I can't see it ever getting better at the moment, it just seems to get worse everyday. You will have one good day then it will be loads of bad days and you fall even worse.

    Thankyou both for you amazing words, it means a lot. This is going to be a long journey but i am more determined than I have ever been to make it better. Sorry
  • CharlotteCharlotte Posts: 229 Trailblazer
    and I didn't think today could get any worse and I have deleted everything off my phone, lost all photos trying to do a backup.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    As hard as it is - You shouldn't feel so much pressure to get better. And shouldn't force it. And can't put a time scale on it. Cause when it comes to it and your not better it's very disappointing. Although with your determination I think its possible. Hope youre doing better today
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • CharlotteCharlotte Posts: 229 Trailblazer
    I am doing better today I think so thanks shaunie. I need to put a timescale on it at the moment I know I shouldn't and I also feel I need to put pressure and force myself to get better because otherwise nothing is going to end, but i think I want to make sure that it is better and that it works. If it is not better by summer next year then I don't know what I am going to do, I would be so confused and lost. Sorry if this doesn't make sense.
  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,030 Boards Guru
    Hey Harriet,

    I'm sorry to hear you've had this realisation, it can be really hard when we think back to how things were a year ago. A lot can happen in this time, and we experience new things and different pressures in life. I'm glad to hear you're doing better today. One of my favourite quotes is 'fall down seven times, stand up eight', no matter what setbacks we have they will teach us to be stronger and move forward. Like Mica said, you're never stuck and you can move forward I really believe in you.

    We're always here for you whenever you need to talk *hug*
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • CharlotteCharlotte Posts: 229 Trailblazer
    Thanks aife after a few days thinking about things I am glad I had this realisation it's made me want to get better and back to where I was before. I like the quote definitely one I am going to save.

    Thank you aife and everyone
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    One day at a time, even if it's teeny tiny baby steps*hug*

    Sending lot's of positive energy and :heart:
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