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Stage 4 cancer

LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,331 Wise Owl
I know I'm making a lot of threads but I needed to make this one. It's been emotional! My aunty has cancer and she's at stage 4 she got diagnosed at stage 4. She's recently started chemo tablets after normal chemo wasn't working and she had news that it has spread recently. My grandad passed away from stage 4 cancer and it would of been his birthday today. So some of us has been out for food. My aunty just burst out crying (she' hasent done that before) and just said she needed to go home. We know my aunty is going to die but my grandma (who lost my grandad) is in denial and dosent want to prepare. We all started crying and she said she wants to be left alone now but we're all so worried about her. My grandma will break especially after loosing her husband for like life passed away so we are so worried about her aswell😢

Comments

  • MikeMike 🎧 LandaanPosts: 3,614 Community Manager
    Eesh, must be quite a roller coaster going through all this Steph. :( Terminal illness and loss can really take its toll on people and it does sound like it's weighing you and your family down right now, so it's great that you're reaching out about it.

    I realise this was a couple of days ago now, so just wanted to check in and see how you're feeling about everything?
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.

    Want to join the community champions? Drop @TheMix a message!
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,331 Wise Owl
    My mum is really concerned about my grandma if my aunty does pass away then I'm concerned about my mum and my grandma aswell. My grandma just won't accept that it is possible that my aunty could die very suddenly.

    I remember being at my grandmas having a family visit and my grandad was fine he was bed ridden (but ok) we left and I popped my head around the door to say bye to him and he put his hand on his heart (I knew that he was telling me that he was dying but I didnt say that he did that, I kick myself for not saying so). We got like 5minutes from home and my grandma phoned my mum to say come back something isn't right. I think my mum dropped me off at my auntys (the aunty that has cancer now) just down the road to where my grandma lives. My grandad had it all planned to live by family and evan mot my grandmas car and everything so my grandma wouldn't have to worry about a few things for a long time. Anyway my grandad died that day.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Steph,

    So sorry to hear you're having to go through this, especially with so much else going on :( I'm glad that you've felt able to share this all with us; feelings can get really intense and overwhelming at times like this, so do keep posting if you feel it helps.

    It's nice that you, your mum, your aunty and your grandma all have each other. How are you doing at the moment? I wonder if you have heard of Hope Support Services - they offer online support and other services for young people when a family member has been diagnosed with terminal illness.

    As well as being there for the family, it's important to look after yourself in this too, even if it's just taking some time out for yourself, or reaching out to talk on here :)
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,331 Wise Owl
    Hey..

    I'm doing okay thankyou. I haven't heard of them but I have now, thankyou!
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,331 Wise Owl
    Hey Raich

    I just wanted to say thankyou again for suggesting Hope. I've spoken to a lady from their this morning and also passed it onto my cousions (son and daughter of my aunty that has cancer)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lost_sense wrote: »
    Hey Raich

    I just wanted to say thankyou again for suggesting Hope. I've spoken to a lady from their this morning and also passed it onto my cousions (son and daughter of my aunty that has cancer)


    That's really good to hear Steph, glad you managed to get in touch with someone :) have you found it helpful?

    Hope you're okay *hug*
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,331 Wise Owl
    Yeah I found it helpful thankyou
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,331 Wise Owl
    My aunty has started wearing her wig now as her hair is falling out. I wonder how long she's got left. It is going to break my family💔😭
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,331 Wise Owl
    So I know this was started a while ago but my aunty has now been told there's no more treatment that she can try. They went to Wolverhampton a while back, London the other week and Oxford this week and all the doctors have said there's no treatment that my aunty can now try. Oxford told her that she should do all she wants to do now and we all think she is going to pass very soon.
  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Noob Posts: 523 Incredible Poster
    Hey lostsense I'm so sorry to hear about this. I know exactly how you're feeling as I said in my other thred my nan passed away yesterday of cancer.

    We were also told the same, there was nothing else they could do and to make the best of it. The most I can say is exactly that make the most of what you can. Even the tiny things make a big difference. I know a few weeks before my nan passed she wanted a fritter from a certain fish and chip shop we always use. I got her a few for her tea and she was so happy. It was only something small it it really cheered her up.

    Towards the end she slept alot. At first I didn't want to go down in case I disturbed her. But the last few times I just went and sat there with her while talking to my grandad even though she was asleep.

    Really just spend as much time with her as you can.

    I know it's not going to be easy and I'm sending my biggest hugs your way Xx
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,331 Wise Owl
    OIAM yes I know your nan passed away the other day which I'm so sorry about💜💙

    My head feels screwed so I don't know what else to say atm.
  • DreaDrea The Mix Posts: 292 Budding Regular
    Hey lostsense (or Steph as I saw on another thread?),

    I'm awfully sorry with what is happening to you at the moment. This is really difficult and it's nice that you have decided to share it with us :heart: The most important thing is for everyone to try their best to be as supportive as possible. Just because someone isn't there physically, doesn't mean that they aren't there <3 It could be nice to go somewhere as a family and just have some quality time to try and make more wonderful memories. Here to talk whenever you need.

    Hugs *hug*
    Drea:heart:
  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Noob Posts: 523 Incredible Poster
    I understand lostsense honest it's completely normal not knowing what to say. I'm struggling with exactly that issue right now. I wish I could give something useful right now but unfortunately I'm feeling a bit all over the place.

    I'll just let you know that I'm here for you
    Hope you're ok

    EmmaXx
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,331 Wise Owl
    OIAM-💛💜
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