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I've lost sense
Lostsense
Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
So I'm very close to my specialist face2face counselling. I called up my local rape and sexual violence centre on the 29th of July 2015 and was called in for my assesment in September 2015. I called them nearly a fortnight ago to see how much longer I would be waiting and they said you usually get called in for your first session 12 weeks (so 3months) after the assessment so for me that's this month. I called 2 weeks ago Wednesday coming they said if I haven't heard anything to call back in 2 weeks so I will be calling back Wednesday but
I've lost the feeling that it matters feeling of now it's all gone somehow. All the feelings are gone. I'm just confused. Really confused. I FINALLY near a time that I will be in long term specialist face2face counselling, like a specialised counsellor trained for victims of rape and sexual violence, and now I don't know what I'll say, and I don't feel like I even care if I do, I've lost the sense of urgency, and it's disappearing back into the depths of my mind and I don't know. Very confused. Maybe I'm just over thinking because I'm in a spirl wind of flashbacks right now. This night, the rape had happened. I done my police statement and I was probably waiting at the SARC just about to have my rape kit done. I know I got back at the hostel at 4am, and then for my abe interview in the afternoon. Need to get some meds for flashbacks😪
I've lost the feeling that it matters feeling of now it's all gone somehow. All the feelings are gone. I'm just confused. Really confused. I FINALLY near a time that I will be in long term specialist face2face counselling, like a specialised counsellor trained for victims of rape and sexual violence, and now I don't know what I'll say, and I don't feel like I even care if I do, I've lost the sense of urgency, and it's disappearing back into the depths of my mind and I don't know. Very confused. Maybe I'm just over thinking because I'm in a spirl wind of flashbacks right now. This night, the rape had happened. I done my police statement and I was probably waiting at the SARC just about to have my rape kit done. I know I got back at the hostel at 4am, and then for my abe interview in the afternoon. Need to get some meds for flashbacks😪
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Comments
Firstly, congrats on the specialist counselling coming so soon. I can tell you've been waiting for this, so I hope it comes with some sense of relief (despite what your original post is about).
The void-type feeling you're describing there sounds super understandable, though. When you wait for something so important for so long and then finally get it, it must only be normal to feel a little lost and aimless with it. Give yourself the time you need to gather yourself and adjust to this, and maybe see how you feel in a little while. You may find the lost sense calms down, but equally it's okay if it doesn't.
Also, it's worth bearing in mind that knowing what to talk about and how to go about it are things the counselling itself can really help with. I'd take a bet that the amount of counselling clients who start a course and know how they're going to vocalise things and what they're going to talk about is low to non-existent. Helping you through the process of opening up is a big stage in that journey, so try not to put any pressure on yourself to know how to go about it beforehand.
I realise you posted this a couple days ago - how are you feeling about things now? Did you investigate medication for flashbacks at all?
I have been waiting for this, since July.
I phoned up my local rape and sexual violence project again today as said I would and I spoke to the lady who is in charge of the waiting list and she said there's just a few people who she needs to allocate a counsellor too before me but because I can do anytime day or night inc weekends she said it shouldn't be too long at all.
I haven't investigated meds for flashbacks yet but intend to tomorrow and on the 1st when I have medication review.