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Phone anxiety??

One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 599 Incredible Poster
in Health & Wellbeing
I don't know if this is even a thing!

Like most people I'm always on the phone, texting, playing games and social media.
But when it comes to making a phone call I hate it!!!

I get really nervous and can't get my words out right they get jumbled and I can't wait to hang up!

I have recently been talking to this guy but he likes talking on the phone and always want ls to call. I really struggle with it. I loose what I'm saying and end up going quiet. I worry about what people around me are going to think and/or say.

I don't actually think he believes me about it. But I do struggle when calling him or anyone for that matter.

I'm fine talking to people face to face or even on video call (sometimes)

Does anyone else have this problem?

Is anyone else like this?

Comments

  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Omg yes totally but I find its more the person the other end. Some people make me feel comfortable on the phone than others. I always find aswell it's not as bad as I think. I get all anxious of making a phonecall or answering the phone but when it comes to it people always complement me how professional and on point I am but sometimes it takes a couple of times for me to feel comfortable.
  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 599 Incredible Poster
    I think it is the same with me, I can talk to my good (well known) friends with ease but it comes to phoning someone new and I just can't do it.

    The person I have been talking to phone tonight and I was nevous and didn't really say much in the end I just ended up say "I need go
    Sorry" and he asked me to stay but I couldn't. I hate it, I can talk in person without any problems most of the time and yet I can't talk on the phone???

    Just wish it wasn't as hard as I find it
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Maybe you will feel more comfortable once (if) you speak to this person another couple of times?
  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 599 Incredible Poster
    I hope so steph :/ hate this feeling of not feeling able to talk to him properly
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    I hope you feel more comfortable talking to him soon💙💚
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,304 Part of The Furniture
    I think this is actually really common, and you're certainly not alone!

    I totally feel you on this too though. For me I think it's usually a mix of not knowing the phone call is coming (I dislike surprises!) and therefore having to have a verbal conversation somewhat off the cuff, and the added pressure of the other person not being able to see the visual cues for when I'm stuttering and things getting misunderstood (which tends not to happen in person). Give me a textual conversation over a phone call any day of the week. :p

    Something I actually did with a friend recently was a one-way video call. He's someone who vastly prefers verbal communication, so we thought it might just be easier for both of us if he had a video connection and I talked textually. Although a bit unconventional, it worked really well, and might be something worth a go? :chin:

    Also, never feel like you have to make a phone call if you find yourself really not feeling up to it. You're well within your rights to say something like "I'm not feeling too up to a phone call tonight" if you can't manage it. :)

    I hope that helps, and do let us know how things go in future. :yes:
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 599 Incredible Poster
    I do find a video call a little bit better although I am still a bit nervous. It really depends on the person sometimes. I can call my "well known" friends on video chat and some times phone call with ease unless there are other people around me then I find it really nerve racking again.

    I think it could be the fact I don't know the person that well such as calling the doctors or in my case right now talking to a guy im getting to know. It's not the shyness of having a crush on him. I genuinely hate phone calls and he prefers phone calls.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel the exact same way, I can't even talk to my best friend on the phone because I feel so awkward and nervous. Face timing still makes me nervous but slightly less. If a person I rarely talk to tries to call/face time me, I will instantly hang up as I will be so anxious about what to say.
  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 599 Incredible Poster
    Hasn't really got much better guys. He thinks I'm ignoring him but I'm not. I'm just genuinely struggling with the phone calls. I have called him a few time and managed 5 minutes but we seem to just say the same things over and over.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey :wave:

    Sorry to hear you're struggling with talking to this guy you like over the phone. I can imagine it's frustrating, particularly when you are trying to get to know him better, but well done you for managing to pick up the phone and call him a few times! :yippe:

    It's okay that you're talking about the same things for now; perhaps that might help you to feel a bit more comfortable talking to him on the phone, and eventually move on to other things as you get to know him more :) How has he been with you on the phone until now? Have you felt able to tell him that you feel nervous talking on the phone?

    I wonder if you might have tried practising or visualising yourself on a phone call, picturing it going well and feeling positive about your conversation. Sometimes it may help to do a bit of prep if you are anticipating a phone call, about what you might like to talk about or ask the other person - what do you think?

    As Mike mentioned, it's okay to just say you're not feeling up to it, and perhaps the other person would be willing to chat via text or email sometimes too :yes:
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Yes! I hate it so much, but something I have found useful is putting my phone on speaker, and chatting while doing something else as a distraction, like make-up or tidying, it feels more like I'm chatting to a person than a phone 😂
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • louisa982louisa982 Posts: 294 The Mix Regular
    Yeah i get like this alot! I much prefer email so i can plan what i'm going to say
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