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LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
in Health & Wellbeing
Oh my god, I'm freaking the hell out now..

A girl that moved into the other room. Her first night was Saturday night I think? If I remember correctly. Well she slept here and then went out early Sunday morning I think? And she hasent been back since.

I've just spoken to my mum and my mum said she hasent committed suicide has she. Oh my god, I had a funny turn, my mum never uses that word.

I definitely don't think she has from just briefly talking and seeing her but now I'm not going to get that picture out of my head. Living in a flat with a young girl dead next room. I'm really scared. I hear noises.

I'll be texting my home support worker now actually evan though she won't see it until morning.

My mum said have you knocked on her door because I told my mum her age. My mum said she is young and vunerable. She dosent evan know her. My mum dosent worry about me committing suicide.

Comments

  • StephSteph Posts: 448 Listening Ear
    Hi Steph, :wave:

    How are you feeling now today? It sounds like you were having a difficult time last night, thanks for posting this thread to look for help for yourself, it's really positive that you're posting about whats been going on and how you're feeling.

    You also mentioned that you were going to text your home support worker last night, was this helpful for you to text her last night, was she able to reply to you today?

    Sounds like you and your mum are concerned about the girl that moved into the other room recently, seems like a tricky situation for you to be in and that when your mum mentioned the word suicide it took you by surprise and also that you're really scared and you hear noises. You're doing really well to come here and look for some support. Have you heard anything from the girl today at all?

    Let us know how you're getting on, we're here for you :)
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    I did text my home support worker lastnight. The most strangest thing has happened Steph 🤔 The support living project rang me to ask if I was in because someone was coming to look at the washing machine. So I asked them if my home support worker was in the office and they told me SHE HAS LEFT 😲 I only saw her the other day, she must of known herself that she was leaving but she didn't tell me and the bloke that phoned me to tell me someone was coming to look at the washing machine said they didn't know either. So I've got an appointment in the morning with a new home support worker from the project. I also mentioned about the girl and they said no, no she wouldn't have harmed herself. I just think she will be stopping at family's or her boyfriends like if they live far away (like my family do, I stop for a couple or few nights) it was only because my mum said she hasent committed suicide in her room has she that it put images in my head. The girl still isn't back but I'm guessing she will be very soon.

    Steph, the noises are really scary 😔 I'm so paranoid in a flat on my own I hate it so much. The amount of times I shout "hello" or feel someone tap on my shoulder ect
  • louisa982louisa982 Posts: 294 The Mix Regular
    Hey lost Sence

    Being alone and hearing all these noises must be so scary. How are you feeling today? Is there anyone that can stay with you for s while?

    Louisa X
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Hey Louisa,

    It is, freaks me out so much 😔 I hate it..

    Hmmm I don't really know, I feel very misjoined, by what I mean by that I don't know. I just not feel right.

    I've just met my new home support worker and she made me a doctors appointment for Saturday. There's 3 things I need to say to the doctor..
    -Ask for a letter for buss pass
    -Make sure I've been referred to the CMHT
    -Explain the paranoia and voices. Insist I need therapy ASAP and sort medication out.

    I know I'm going to walk in and just blank out! And not get any of those things sorted.

    I need to vaccum but the vaccum makes the noises/voices worser and then going to pop into town inabit.

    How are you?x
  • louisa982louisa982 Posts: 294 The Mix Regular
    Hiya lost sence

    Feeling out of sorts can be confusing! It's good you have all of the things you need to do in a list. I would suggest you write down each point and any extra details and/or questions you need to ask. That way if you blank or don't feel like talking or stumble then you can just put the list on the table and work through it together then at least the doctor will know why you are there and how to help.

    I hate the vaccum too :( Can you ask someone else to do this for you? you could maybe do something in return like washing up or ironing or something you feel more comfortable doing?

    I just popped into town and brought things for uni! What are you going to buy? or just browsing?

    Sorry if this is all jumbled aha

    louisa x
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Hey,

    Yeah that's what I have done in my memos on my phone wrote them out in more detail. Maybe I'll write it out on paper and just give the doctor the paper. I feel abit wierd giving the doctor a piece of paper though!

    Do you hear noises and voices aswell? Or you just hate vacuuming? I don't mind vacuuming but it makes me more paranoid having any sound on, vacuum, music, washing machine any noise makes me more paranoid and hear the voices more.

    No thankyou! Haha, I hate ironing! I'll just stay paranoid!

    Oooo you're at uni, what you studying? I just bought bits and bobs. Waiting for the bus back now, there's been about 5 but I've been waiting thinking I'll wait for the next one. I always find it hard to go back home once I've been out.

    There was a big bang not long ago I thought it was a bomb I jumped up off the bench lol. Everyone always stares at me in town lol. I always carry a hammer in my handbag and around my neck I've got a panic alarm and pepper like spray (it's not pepper spray but similar) because of the incident that happened last year (you may have seen my threads about it) I'm in Birmingham city aswell lol. Evan if I go down the road to the shop from where I live I'll wear my safety equipment lol.

    It wasent all jumbled up. It was in perfect order 😊 x
  • louisa982louisa982 Posts: 294 The Mix Regular
    hiya

    Don't feel wierd about it! I know alot of people write letters/notes/lists and the doctor doesn't seem to mind at all. I think having it on paper would garentee things get sorted and/or talked about.

    The vacuum is too noisy/loud for me and i don't like it.

    Yeah going to be studying accounting. well make sure you don't miss the last bus! Do you think living somewhere else would help?

    That sounds like quite alot of worry for you when ever you go out. Just make sure it's all legal to carry the things around. (I know they have strict rules about knives but i have no idea where the law stands on anything else)

    Do you have any coping strategies for when you start hearing noises?

    louisa x
  • LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Well I have wrote out on a piece of paper a page now that I'm hopefully going to give the doctor!😊

    Buses run in Birmingham unill like 10pm I think so another few hours yet lol but I'm home now.

    I don't care anyway, I've got to protect my safety. No-one else can do that.

    Well my old CPN told me to turn the voices into nice voices but when they're voices telling me how to kill myself IN A LOT OF DETAIL I will say. It is very hard to turn it into a nice voice but when the voices say stuff like "they're here" then I will thank them for telling me that they're here.

    X
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