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Love my girlfriend - but the physical attraction has gone.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,

​I've been in a relationship for 8 months now (only my 2nd ever relationship). I really, really care for her and I feel as though she's a part of my life but over the past couple of months I've kinda stopped feeling 'attracted' to her as much and this feeling is just getting worse. It pains me deeply to say this, but I don't fancy her like I used to and I don't feel anywhere near as sexually attracted to her as I once did. It pains me to say it even now when I type it because we get on really, really well and we share similar values, interests and she treats me better than I could ever imagine. She's done so much for me, like in my previous relationship years ago my girlfriend was nice, but nowhere near as caring, supportive and loving as my current one is. A few examples are when I lost my job a couple of months ago (I've just got back in work) and I had nothing and although she's a single Mum of one she cut back on her own things and helped me get by which I was unbelievably touched by. I've also had a couple of medical problems (anxiety and insomnia) that have made me poorly for brief periods but she stuck by me and supported me through them. She's listened when I've had problems, and just never put a foot wrong and it's hard to imagine i'd ever find someone like that again.

The problem lies mainly that the sexual chemistry side of things has gone. She has had a child in a previous relationship and she has mentioned once or twice that she has 'stretch marks'. I have once seen them for a couple of seconds accidently, I've never seen anything like it before almost like an 80 year olds stomach on a 22 year olds body. She's never taken her top off in front of me, even in bed or during sex and we always have to have sex in the dark but we've never discussed it. Also, she never lets me go down on her I feel as though for fear I may see her stomach. But it's just so off putting for me, I feel as though the sex is almost forced just to make her happy now rather than me wanting to do it.

I love the girl but it feels like it's more of a sisterly/friend love, and I care for her deeply we have such a laugh and enjoy doing so many different things together. I honestly can't imagine her not being part of my life and she'd head over heels for me but I don't really feel the same in that particular way. I'm so confused because I used to feel that way but that side of things has gone so stagnant. I must admit, a couple of months ago it got so much I had a couple of one night affairs from nights out and the sex was so much better, I enjoyed not having the body covered up and being able to be completely free in the bedroom. I don't want to live a lie and having to seek that part of things elsewhere because that wouldn't be fair on her and it would kill me to do that to her again, I already have regrets and major guilt from the 2 one night affairs.

My mind is just so torn and it's making me incredibly down and upset, I can barely concentrate on anything else. I don't know what to do. :(



Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What's changed? How is it that you were sexually attracted to her before, but aren't any more? Had you not seen her fully nude then? Is her saggy abdomen the only unattractive part of her?

    Have you told her that you're no longer sexually attracted to her?

    Does she know that you've had two one-night stands during your relationship with her?

    Do you live together?

    It sounds like you'd be much better suited as friends.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Steve, thanks for your reply.​

    I didn't mind at first, but as time went on it just became very repetitive and dull in the bedroom. I've never seen her fully nude, I've never even seen her with her underwear or top off. When we have sex it's the same routine, she turns the lights off so it's pitch black and we have sex under the covers. At first it was okay but she never lets me see her get changed or anything, just over time it's become more of an issue for me. From a sexual side of things yes, I think it's just the 'saggy abdomen' that is the unattractive part for me.

    I've not told her that i'm no longer sexually attracted to her no, it would fully break her I think. She's emotionally quite vulnerable I feel.

    She does not know about the two one-night stands no.

    We don't live together no but we live in the same town.

    Thanks again Steve.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What's stopping you and her ending the relationship, whilst remaining friends?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We had a weeks break about a month ago, which I called and cited reasons not stated above so I didn't offend her (such as; we've been too intense lately i feel suffocated a little, need a little space) which she reluctantly agreed to. She did state that if it was to be over, she categorically stated that there was no way that she could remain friends with me. Anyway, after the week, she told me it made her so ill not being with me and not knowing what was happening with us. Physically sick, couldn't eat or sleep etc. I felt terrible for causing that for someone I care for so much and I could see how much she madly, ludicrously loved me and wanted us to work so I gave it another shot.

    ​Even now, when she leaves me if she's stayed at mine, or if I leave hers, or even after a night/day out, she tells me she misses me like mad and feels so lost without me. That's what's stopping me ending the relationship, a) fear of hurting someone I love & care about dearly. b) knowing she would be gone from my life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you live so near to each other that you'd likely bump into each other if you split up? Would you likely go to the same places where you might see each other?

    Are you the only person in her life, other than her child?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi blighted, thanks for posting.
    I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. It sounds as though your girlfriend has some self confidence issues regarding her body after having a child.
    Having stretch marks and a "saggy abdomen" as it was so eloquently put is only the tip of the iceberg, having a baby not only changes your body physically but mentally too. I personally have stretch marks all over my body and my body has changed massively after having two children, especially as one was born via c-section. It takes time and a lot of loving and patience from your partner and your self to learn to love and accept your body again. Start things slow, offer her a massage (without the proviso of a happy ending at first ;) ) and work from there?
    You also mention that you have slept with other people whilst in this relationship, do you think of you want to continue with the relationship that it might be an idea to tell her? Only you mention you live in the same town so there would be a possibility of her finding out anyway which surely would break her heart even more? Not only that but feeling guilty is not going to make anything easier for yourself or your relationship.
    One last thing, you mention this is only your second relationship, Could it also be possible that after the "honey moon period" that you are not finding her "as attractive" because things have calmed down a little and you are becoming more comfortable with each other? IYSWIM.
    Sorry, I have gone on a bit, but basically, find the time when the child is asleep/not going to interupt and try to communicate your thoughts and feelings :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Murphy, he's not telling her that he doesn't find her sexually attractive, due to the fact that it would break her heart. He's not telling her about the cheating for the same reason.

    Blighted, does she feel unattractive in general - or is it just her abdomen she hates the appearance of?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the responses Steve & Murphy, I really appreciate it.

    ​Steve, we don't live that close no. Other ends of town, so it would be quite unlikely to bump into each other by chance.

    Apart from her child yes I am the only other main person in her life apart from friends who she doesn't feel close to (as she has been bringing up a child throughout most her younger years and not had much opportunity to socialise). Whereas it's different with me, I have a close, supportive family (she gets on really well with my Mum now, and my Mum has even said she feels like it's her daughter almost - which makes it even harder for me) and good friends.

    She doesn't feel unattractive in general no. It's the abdomen she's very conscious about but we've never discussed the issue as it's obviously an issue that is something very, very delicate to her.


    Murphy, thank you for the words of advice.

    It would be highly unlikely if she found out as the two occasions in question were on nights out in a neighbouring City, and neither of which know my full name for social media etc. It would be very unlikely to bump into them again. I think it would do more damage than good if I were to come clean about that.

    Things have calmed down a lot in all honesty. I no longer feel the need to look my best or make as much effort when i'm wth her. I can be just as I would be if I was on my own slouching around my house, as I know it won't affect anything.

    Don't apologise for going on, completely the opposite, i'm thankful for all the feedback. I've not been able to discuss this before.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How did she cope before you entered her life?

    You haven't mentioned her family (other than her child). Is she estranged from them?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay. Things calming down isn't always a bad thing, it's perfectly normal after a certain time, although saying that it is also important not to become complacent.
    Whilst I respect your right not to tell her about the one night stands, for her own sake, what about you? You mention you suffered (I don't think it ever truly goes away) with anxiety, anxiety and guilt are not a good combination :(

    It is a very delicate subject, so you may want to approach with "kid gloves", Why not remind her that she has stretch marks and stuff because her body bought life into this world! And that is something to be unbelievably proud of. Yes she may never feel confident enough to wear a teeny tiny bikini again but having that little person who loves you unconditionally is worth all the little marks in the world! And stretch marks fade, exercise, correct diet and TIME can help most post partum tummies.
    From what you've said about how helpful loving and supportive she is it sounds like she's a great girl.

    Do you find the thought of stretch marks and such repulsive? Or is it not being able to be fully open and explore all of her body?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Eight months in, the couple should still be in the 'honeymoon period' / have 'new relationship energy' or whatever you want to call it. One person losing sexual interest in the other at this early stage isn't typical - nor is it a good thing.

    She does sound like she's nice, helpful and of good character. However, that doesn't mean that it's a good idea for Blighted to stay in this relationship. Although she's supportive, he's still suffering a huge emotional burden from his girlfriend. It sounds like she's insecure in general. He feels pressured to stay with her for fear of the negative reaction from her if he left her. It sounds like they'd be better suited as friends, which is why I suggested that. However, he's said that he doesn't have the option of transitioning their relationship into a friendship.

    Giving birth doesn't always result in severe abdominal sagging. I know a mother-of-four whose abdomen is tight and as flat as a pancake; she has no stretch marks.

    There are many women who dislike their abdomen (including some who don't have stretch marks or sagging). Many of them insist on the bedroom being dark or they cover their abdomen at all times (except when alone) in order to to prevent anyone seeing it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Really Steve? Every couple ever in the world should still be in the honeymoon period after 8 months?! I find that extremely difficult to believe...
    I never said that all women who give birth experience sagging or stretch marks however it is fair to assume that most women do. And you're very correct many women do have body hang ups irregardless of a pregnancy, which is why I suggested the things I did that may help the pair of them if the poster chooses to remain in this relationship which is his choice.
    As noticed on several posts now we have very different opinions which is absolutely fine. You have suggested that he doesn't remain in the relationship and I have advised what could be helpful if he did remain in it if that's what he wanted..
    I'm sure the poster will take everything we have both said into consideration and work out what is best for all parties involved.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not every couple is still in the honeymoon period 8 months in, but most are. That's by no means an old or long relationship.

    Most mothers do have some degree of sagging and/or stretch marks, but this sounds like a severe case.

    It sounds like Blighted is being kept in a relationship that he's unhappy with due to the guilt he would feel if he ended the relationship. I've known people who've stayed in unhappy relationships and, when they finally left, wished they'd ended it much sooner.

    Blighted, why doesn't your gf have support from anyone other than you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the replies again. I tried responding earlier however it wouldn't allow me to log in on my phone.

    ​Before I entered her life Steve she was in a 7 year relationship with the father of her child with whom she split up with just over a year ago, around 6/7 months before we met however the last couple of years of her relationship she wasn't happy and didn't love him anymore so she ended it.

    Steve, her Mother has been an alcoholic since her father passed 4 years ago and she doesn't allow her child to be with her. Her father abandoned the family and moved to the states many years ago. Her uncle passed a few months ago, and she hasn't got many friends due to being tied down with the child since she was 18 and fell out of the social circle so to speak. She has a few friends, but nobody close like me in her life.

    I think you are right Steve in your last post, absolutely right. But I would also miss all the great times we have together which does genuinely make me happy. I'd like to speak to her about the abdomen situation but I don't want to upset her at the same time so it's tough.


    Murphy, I really don't want to sound terrible but yes I do find the thought of the severe stretch marks extremely off putting. I also feel like because I haven't even seen what i'm having sex with I can't enjoy it. The sex in the dark and under the covers with clothes on is just getting too much now, I feel like I need to say something now but I'd hate to upset her.

    Murphy, I appreciate your comments and I will make my own decision, but in your opinion what would you advise given your experience/knowledge you seem to have? I'd appreciate your opinion.

    Thanks
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your gf needs more support. She's obviously been through a lot. Having a dysfunctional family is a major disadvantage. It's too much for you to be the only person helping her. Has she ever sought professional help, such as a counsellor or psychologist? How did she cope during the months between the end of her relationship with her child's father and meeting you?

    Have you talked about your relationship with people whom you know well? What do they say about it?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay, before I give you my honest opinion. Let's talk about stretch marks... Obviously they are signs of where the skin was stretched. You mention she had the child a while ago now so I just want to tell you that when they first appear are red/pink and can be angry looking, however over time (not much time a few months) fade to a very light pink/almost silver colour. The majority of the time they don't go completely but aren't massively noticeable.

    My opinion, which you don't have to take any notice of obviously, is that you have a woman who is clearly a good egg, and I believe that these issues your currently experiencing can be overcome if that's something you really wanted with helping her with building up her confidence and trust. She won't let you near those parts of her body for fear that you will be repulsed. If it's something you really couldn't get past, maybe it would be kinder to both her and yourself to part ways. I'd suggest having a good long think about it, if you do decide to continue the relationship I would be happy to suggest ideas that could help to build on this but ultimately you need to make a decision.

    A little advice for her regardless of whether you stay together or not; a support network is essential for raising a child. You don't mention how old the child is or where you are from but if you are in the UK please advise her to contact her health visitor who could signpost her to places like Home-Start, her GP or activities at her local sure start centre etc etc.
    I hope this helps somewhat, please let us know how you get on so we could be of further assistance :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She hasn't sought professional help no, the kid's father still has the kid one night a week though and for one afternoon a week so it gives her a bit of a break that way.

    I have spoke about my relationship and it's very split. My family all really like her, they get on with her well and my Mum loves her like her own. In fact, she probably talks more to my Mum than I do (i'm busy with work and part time studying too). My family would be devastated / annoyed at me I think, if I ended it. They're always telling me how lucky I am etc and it just puts more pressure on me. I feel suffocated by it all, even a bit ago my girlfriend text me saying "I'm always think about you non stop you know" with a love heart.

    My friends however, literally all think I should call it a day and said similar to what you said in that I'll feel a lot better once it's done and I've got through the first couple of weeks. They can see how it's affecting me as I've not been myself for a couple of months now really when we've met up for a drink or at the football.

    Part of me thinks, i'm not truly happy or as happy as I feel I would like to be / should be in this relationship. But the other part thinks there are so many relationships out there that aren't perfect, learn to accept it and think/focus on the good/positives of the relationship.

    Murphy, yes they are very similar to how you described. I only saw then once for a couple of seconds when I walked in on her getting changed accidently, they appeared to be like silvery/navy blue and they were massively noticeable. I know someone mentioned exercise, correct diet etc she does none of that but again, i'd have to bring the topic up to discuss that. She's thin as it is so probably feels like she doesn't need to exercise or eat correctly so to speak.

    I'm not sure if I could get past this or not until I've fully seen it all really, or at least discussed it in depth with her about where we go from here. It's a horrible subject to want to bring up though.

    The child is almost 4, starting school in a few weeks too. Yes we are in England.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Many people stay in a relationship which they don't want to be in, for the sake of other people. I think that's a major factor here. You're staying with her partly because that's what she and your mother want. You don't have to do that.

    Bear in mind that all the time you're with your gf is time that you can't be in another relationship which may be significantly better. Do you think you could form a better relationship with someone else?

    I'm not criticising you, but the fact that you cheated on her with two other girls shows that you're not really committed to her. How long ago did the two one-night stands happen? Is anyone else, whom you know, aware of the one-night stands?

    It's your choice what you do or don't do. I think that the relationship will deteriorate further. My advice would be to end the relationship and find someone you're happier with. I wouldn't mention her abdomen or your cheating.
  • StephSteph Posts: 448 Cool Newbie
    Hey Blighted, been looking at your post and it does seem like things have been hard for you. You're doing really well to look for some support here, seems like a tricky situation for you to be in.

    What would you ideally like to happen? Sounds like you been giving it a lot of thought. it's really positive that you're talking it through on here as well. :yes:

    Not sure if you've seen this before but there's an article here that might be worth having a read of.

    We also have this tool which has lot's on relationships, this might help to look at too :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Many people stay in relationships that they're unhappy with, because they believe/hope/assume that things will improve significantly. In many cases, they're wrong and instead the relationship worsens and the person wishes they'd ended it sooner. Blighted, would you want to still be in this relationship in a month's time, a year's time, a decade's time - if it doesn't improve?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes Steve it is a big factor, along with the fact that I'm scared how she will react to it. I have anxiety issues and I can't cope with the aftermath. Not only that, i'm scared of not having her around and having that amazing support she provides me, the great days/nights out we have. I've shared some of the best days/nights out, weekends away of my life with her.

    I'm not sure if I could form a better relationship with someone else, this another great fear of mine. There are so many questions, worries and different possibilities it's hard to work out if I would be better or worse off being with her or not. Whose to say I won't find another partner who I get on with like this.. Afterall, it took me over 5 years since my last girlfriend to find someone else.

    The two one night stands occurred in June, a couple of months ago. This was a couple of weeks after I lost my job and only then I started 'realising' that I was very unhappy in my relationship because I wasn't at work Mon-Fri and we spent a lot more time together and I kinda realised the sex was very repetitve and boring. I turned to drink quite a lot in June and this is how the one night stands came about while I was out. A couple of my friends know, but that's about it.

    I've just got home from an evening round hers. Tonight she mentioned she'd looked at wedding dresses, brides maid dresses. She also asked me if i'm sure I love her. It's just like the pressure on me is reaching boiling point now and I feel like I need to make a decision sooner rather than later.

    Steph, thank you very much for your reply. I appreciate the links, however the first link, as useful as I can imagine it will be to a lot of people, I've actually run myself through every single one of those questions it asks. I've thought about this so deeply there's nothing I haven't missed out and yet I still can't make a decision because of fear of making the wrong one. I have no idea what to do still. I feel like a weak man.

    Thanks again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I kinda just realised something while writing that last post. For the first 6 months of our relationship I was in full time work and because of this we only ever spent the night with each other on a weekend on the night she didn't have her child, so we would always do something different i.e visit new places, go on different days out, nights out, weekends away, there was a lot of variety and it was really exciting doing this with each other. We were so happy looking forward to each weekend with each other. Occassionly on a week night I would go see her after work for tea or spend a couple of hours at hers, but usually it would be a phone call most nights through the week. Once i'd lost my job in June i'd see her more and more through the week and because she had her child we were very limited and all i'd do is sit at hers or go to the park, walks etc. This is when I thought hold on this is actually really tedious for me i'm not enjoying this, and the sex on a night would be the same over and over, and I just began over thinking the whole relationship and since that it's just had me doubting it.

    This is why in July I asked us to go on a week break so I could try and get it back to how it was before, not seeing each other for a week, but it made her very poorly and I felt more guilty that i'd done that to her and it just made her a lot more insecure. I feel like I was happy taking things at a steady-ish pace but she's completely head over heels wanting marriage and everything. I even told her last night it's not healthy to be thinking about me 'literally non-stop' like she said in a text but she said she can't help it. I don't think she can reverse that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is getting worse. She's becoming more and more psychologically dependent on you. She's trying to push you into marriage. She'll likely try to trap you by getting pregnant - probably by telling you she's using contraception when she's not. You need to get out as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be.

    Although I don't know you, I've known people who've been in the sort of situation you're in. They said they wished they'd ended their relationships much sooner - before things deteriorated so much.

    Why was there over five years between the end of your previous relationship and the start of your current one? Could you not find a girl who was willing to be your girlfriend - or did you want to be single and have casual sex for that long? Did you have casual sex with many girls during that time? If so, how was it that you found it easy to get casual sex with many girls, but none of them wanted a relationship with you? There are far more girls who want a relationship than want casual sex. Getting casual sex with girls is usually more difficult than starting a relationship with one.

    Are you back in full-time work now?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Steve, thanks for your response.

    ​I appreciate your concern but she certainly wouldn't trap me into a baby. She fell pregnant at the beginning of July and was more eager to get rid than I was. We both agreed that we don't want a child, me because I have 3 more years part-time studying for my degree and her because having one kid is stressful enough for her. The marriage comments I think are more her getting carried away with it, getting excited for our future and I think it's just a case of her being way, way ahead of me in this relationship than I am. Like I said I'd like to steady the ship back into a slow motion which is what I feel comfortable with, whereas she is full steam ahead. She isn't a psychopath, she's just very clingy and has a lot of insecurities I feel.

    I'm not certain why there was over five years in all honesty. That's a long time between the ages of 18-23 not to have a girlfriend. I went on lots of dates, dating sites, had a lot of casual sex, and just couldn't find the right one. There was two or three girls whom I met on multiple occasions who I believe were interested in taking things a little further, but I tend to be very choosy and if there are certain characteristics I don't like I just wouldn't persue them and i'd look further. There were also a few girls who didn't want to persue things with me after a date or two. Swings and roundabouts as they say. But towards the back end of this I got more desperate and my sights lowered, for example I never thought i'd go for a single Mum.

    Yes I'm back in full-time work now as of the first of this month thankfully.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You and your gf want different things. You want to calm things down, whereas she wants to rush into marriage. This isn't merely a 'rough patch' or a minor difference. You're 'on different wavelengths', 'charting different courses'. This is one of the reasons that you're not suited to each other. She wants to spend much more time with you than you want to or are able to spend with her.

    Does she demand/expect that you buy her many presents, frequently take her out on dates, spend a lot of time with her child etc.?

    Does she suffer from any mental disorders?

    I'd love to have a lot more casual sex than I do. The large majority of the girls whom I want reject me or expect me to wine and dine them many times before they'll even consider sex. They call me a pig, creep, pervert etc. - merely for wanting normal sex. They tell me that I shouldn't even be thinking about sex until I'm months into a committed, monogamous LTR. How did you manage to overcome such obstacles to get casual sex with so many girls? On dating sites, very few girls initiate contact with me (and those who do so are very unappealing, live a long distance from me and want different things to me). The vast majority of the girls whom I send messages to on dating sites don't reply to me, so I don't know where I'm going wrong. I contacted the staff of the dating sites about this. They bit my head off, telling me that their sites are for monogamous LTRs only. However, those sites allow members to tick an option for casual sex / no commitment etc. - so the staff who are angrily talking down to me are in the wrong. When I point that out to those staff, they don't reply.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Completely the opposite Steve. As bad as it sounds, I've never bought her one present. She's bought me a couple though. We're very split on paying for dates and stuff, I'd probably say she's paid for more dates than I have if anything. As for the child, no not at all, she never pressures me into that.

    ​No known mental disorder no.

    As for your bottom paragraph, i'll PM you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Has she had her birthday during the time you've been with her? If so, did you give her a card, take her out or something on that day?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, her birthday is in a couple of months. Why?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Because you'd said that you hadn't ever given presents to her.

    You're lucky to have a gf who doesn't make demands on you. Most girls I've encountered expect and demand to have many expensive presents lavished on them frequently by anyone they're dating - and to be wined and dined at top restaurants, stay in expensive hotels etc. I'm not just talking about gorgeous girls from wealthy backgrounds - I've encountered plain, coarse, underclass girls from council estates who demand all that. Their reaction to me being unable and unwilling to do all that for them is that they label me a 'cheapskate'.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you want to discuss can we do it on Private Message? I already messaged you the other day. Just to free up this post for the topic in question, cheers.
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