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Boyf left due to stress and to lessen pain he caused me, will he really come back?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
My (quite serious) boyfriend of 9 months left me a few days ago. He's very stressed and has a lot on his plate, and i don't really want to say what tbh. He also said he doesn't have to time to give to me and to commit to me in the way that I deserve. We met up the other day, he wants me to still have his stuff. We cuddled, I helped with some of his stress, we talked and kinda sorted some stuff out. We still love each other, and sort of always will, or at least a part of us will always love the other completely.

What will happen is I'm going to give him time and space to get over the break up and sort his stuff out. I will also help with the main cause of stress from afar, so he still has space but I am helping (kind of hard to say how without giving it away).

I said to him to message when he's ready, you know my door is always open and my light is always on. My question is, do you really think he'll come back? And will he want to be together? He said "that may be a while", I'm guessing around end of September to the beginning of October but I'm not sure, as long as it's before our anniversary I'll be okay to be with him.

If he doesn't, I'll be okay. I'm working on myself and I'll be better and more whole for when he comes back. I just want to know what your opinion is on when that will be, if it will actually happen and what he will want? I'm worried this period of however long of no contact will make him move on and forget about me.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you and that he doesn't want a full-time relationship with anyone. I doubt he'll ever want to resume a relationship with you. If he does, it will probably be a part-time (perhaps open) relationship.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Sally,

    I am sorry to hear about what happened between you and him. Like you said you keep yourself busy for now. its more of a waiting game you wont know until he is ready to talk a little more. and that is okay until then just try to focus on you. I hope that you get back together if thats what you would like..


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Steve_ wrote: »
    It sounds like he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you and that he doesn't want a full-time relationship with anyone. I doubt he'll ever want to resume a relationship with you. If he does, it will probably be a part-time (perhaps open) relationship.
    Why do you think that? Just wondering as to what I've missed, and oh he's definitely not a part time or open relationship kind of person
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Sally,

    Ups and downs are normal in a relationship, and stress makes things worse, so its good that you are taking some time for yourselves. I like to think positive, and in my view he will come back, its just a matter of time, you both needed a break from the relationship before it got nasty, so I think there is a solid chance that he might come back to you. Don't put any pressure on him, and don t be too worried about this as he might sense that. See what happens. As turtle09 above said, focus on yourself, and pamper yourself.

    I am keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed for you!

    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sally, you said that he said he doesn't have time to give to you or commit to you. That sounds like he doesn't want a full-time, committed relationship. What you've said also makes it appear that he wants to break up with you permanently without stating that intention of his clearly. It sounds like he's trying to initiate a relationship break, which he will extend indefinitely.
  • StephSteph Posts: 448 Cool Newbie
    Hi Sally and welcome, great to have you here! :yes:

    Sounds like a hard time at the moment, just wanted to let you know that we have an article here at taking a break which might be useful to have a look at :chin:

    We also have live group chat where you can come to get support and support others, it's on tonight from 8-9.30pm, you can join the chat here :)

    Keep talking to us, we're here for you *hug*
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