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Arguing with family

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
As much I love and admire my family and we've all been there for each other arguments do break out sometimes over petty things. This tends to happen whoever I pay them a visit as I live just
round the corner.
And what's worse is that not everyone admits their wrongdoings and I know I'm probably going to sound pathetic and spineless here but as some people are a little intimidating to be around I have trouble sticking up for others sometimes in the family, though I do try and make up for it by doing stuff against my will with those family members I unfortunately can't stick up for and always sing their praises.

I hope people in the family read this log book I've made where I've written down all the things I've kept bottled up over the years since I find it difficult to speak to anyone.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey there @adoreseverycolour :)

    I moved your post over into a new topic of its own so that you can start to get some support around this. It sounds tiring for you to be having these arguments with your family whenever you see them and you say you have been bottling things up which can't be easy.

    When you're feeling intimidated it can be really hard to stick up for people or speak up for yourself as well. Learning how to communicate with those closest to us in a way that helps us to get what we need and to avoid conflict takes time and practice. It's great to hear that you have created an outlet for you emotions through writing things down and also by talking to us here :)

    Is there one person in particular you feel intimidated by?

    How do the arguments tend to start?

    I hope you're doing okay


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Jo7 thanks for your reply & advice. Sorry if mines a little late. There 3 members I get a little intimidated by but don't want to say online (though they do stick up for me sometimes I'll give them that). Arguments begin over stupid petty things, though sometimes I've got to admit there has been some occasions where I've been the culprit. But I always make up for it by admitting my wrongdoing.

    Thankfully things are looking up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there adoreseverycolour :wave:

    Sorry to sound like you're having a really emotionally tough time, it can always be quite tough when families argue and fall out, especially if you feel you have to bottle things up.

    One idea to try and speak to the family as a whole in a non-judgmental and calm manner so that everyone is able to get their opinions across and get answers, it can seem like an extremely daunting idea at first, especially if you have kept things bottled up for a long time, however it may be worthwhile especially if you are able to get your feelings across and as a family come up with ideas of either avoiding the arguments in the first place or things to do when the argument begins to arise so that it can be solved quickly instead of leading into a full blown disaster! Thesite has articles such as this article - http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/relationships/dealing-with-arguments-2934.html

    Another idea is to seek some professional advice which may be able to give you some specialist and trained ways of either communicating with your family or helping you to deal with your emotions, so that you no longer feel the need to hide your emotions. Relate offers live chat, email and telephone counselling with confidential and trained advisers.

    Hope you feel better soon and you find a solution that works for you ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the advice and I will check out that website
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