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Still self conscious when I thought I was over the whole thing

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Wish I didn't feel so crap about myself but because of narrow minded people's opinions its dawning on me. At school I felt as though I could never win such as in years 7 & 8 I hardly wore a scrap of makeup (though when I was 12 I did wear some to a couple of parties) and some people would nitpick at me about this. No wonder I grew self conscious in year 8 and onwards. As soon as year 9 rolled in I began to take my appearance more seriously and unfortunately I became a little obsessed with my hair, makeup and clothes. But then this resulted in the same people making cracks I quote "I never knew it was panto season," or "the circus is that way Gemma" and so on. On one occasion my classmates grassed me up about my makeup.

I always wore skimpy clothing as I was sick of people stating that i looked underdeveloped and that I hadn't peaked puberty (although they knew that wasn't true) and bitching that I had had the exact same hairstyle since year 7; again another piece of nonsense they knew they were kidding themselves over. Even if I did stick up for myself they'd just laugh or turn into threatening mode. One girl who I thought was a friend (though when I first came across her I thought she was a little detached and aloof) cattily remarked stuff of a similar nature, though-and I don't mean to sound full of myself here-she was jealous of me as I had received more compliments than her. But everyone else always looked lovely and yes it put my nose out of joint hearing such comments.

Though now I don't wear anything really revealing or heaps of makeup etc I still feel self conscious as I do see a couple of girls most mornings-one from my year at school, the other from this performing arts academy I used to attend where it was cliquey- both of whom I didn't quite click with. I get suspicious that they're both gossiping about me saying stuff like "ugh you've seen Gemma Larkin lately? God she looks a right mess! Haha! And all she's doing is delivering papers!" I don't wear any makeup on my mornings as I never know what the weather's doing, and these two girls always look trendy & with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social means it's all too easy for them to keep in touch with those other people who'd treat and regard me with scorn

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Gemma :)

    Nobody should have to deal with these kinds of remarks, and I’m sorry to hear you’re still experiencing it and that it’s causing you to feel conscious about your appearance. Sadly there are those people who will pick on innocent targets often in an attempt to make themselves feel better.

    It’s understandable that you feel the way you do, especially when there are repeated comments. More often than not, the person chooses to pick on another’s appearance because there will be something they aren’t able to deal with in themselves, rather than actually having anything to do with your appearance. Others like this will tend to join in as they’ll look to ‘fit in’ with the majority.

    I’m sorry to hear the person you saw as a friend made some comments too. Is there someone you do feel comfortable around and feel you can trust to talk to about how you’re feeling?

    Remember, just because these girls dress up to look good, it doesn’t mean that you should or that you don’t look nice. Try not to let the comments define you. As long as you feel comfortable and feel yourself wearing/not wearing certain clothes, makeup, hairstyles, that’s what matters *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for your advice & sorry for the late reply. I try and look up to those who've had worse things or gone through a tougher ordeal but remain strong and positive and choose them as my role models I have spoken to someone I trust and whilst she gave some kind advice I still feel that those comments have scarred me. But I do try to stay strong, set myself goals & remember that-I know this is a cliche but it has depth and fact behind it-what's on the inside counts.
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