I am really freaking out right now. I don't know what is happening to me. I've been having issues with eating for absolutely forever. But it seems like this past week it has been horrendous. I've managed to lose more than a healthy amount of weight in these past 5 days. I won't specify how much bc I don't wanna trigger anybody. My sister and I (and perhaps my brother) decided for fathers day we were gonna take our entire family out to eat. That was 3 weeks ago. Now I can't face it. I tried to look up the menu for the place we are going to see if I could have something which would not freak me out or make me break down. What a massive fail it was. The menu's have no nutritional info whatsoever. I'm so so so scared. I can't cope with eating anymore or not knowing what I'm putting into my body. I know I'm just going to ruin everything for all of them just like I always do. I hate myself so much. I just want all of this to end. Why can't I just be normal? I can feel a panic attack coming on. I don't know what to do.
I am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.