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Worried I've Fucked Up
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am an incredibly open and honest person, and sometimes this can be seen as a good thing and others... it's really quite bad. In the current situation I'm thinking it's a bad thing since I may have landed my partner in the shit. I was talking to my partner's mum on the phone about him, and talking about how proud I am of him that he's wanting to turn his life around considering everything that has gone on in his past. During the course of this discussion I had mentioned that my partner used to be a heroin user (he has been clean for a couple of years), thinking that his mum knew about this... Well it turns out she and her partner didn't know... And now, her partner is... very unhappy to say the least. I'm worried I've completely gone and fucked up my partner's relationship with his mum and her partner even more and am now terrified about having to tell him about this. His mum asked me not to let him know that she knew, but I felt that keeping this from him would end up hurting him even more when it all finally came out. I'm worried he's going to feel like I betrayed him, and that he won't trust me with any of his problems any more. How do I tell him my mistake and reassure him that he can trust me? I'm seriously freaking out over this as I don't want to hurt him, but it's probably going to be inevitable... 
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Comments
Sounds like a difficult situation. As they say, s...t happens and sometimes in spite of our best intentions we say something and it all turns out really badly. It was obviously a mistake, you didn't know that his mum was not aware of his past addiction. People make mistakes. He did, and now you made one too, he was forgiven and surely you should be too. It might be better to talk to him about this honestly - even if his mum asked you not to let him know. It's better if he hears it from you first. He may not receive it well at first but hopefully he will get to understand that it was an honest mistake.
Good luck and let us know how it went *hug*
Its really good that you managed to speak to your partner straight away before he heard it from anyone else.
I'm glad to hear that your partner wasn't really mad with you even though he was still annoyed. At least you told him and was honest and that's all what matters.
You might find talking about your anxiety with him can only help your relationship to be more of an a open one so if you feel like this again then your partner will know how he can help.
Also it's about helping him two and know your there for him. You know he has a problem but just making him aware that your there for him and will help him with this can make you deal with anxiety from time to time.
You might find the website anxiety uk can give you tips and advice on how to deal with your anxiety in a more controled way and with your other relationships and there's a lot on the site about communication on relationships two.
Maybe for your bf he could have a look at the website drug awarness uk for further support and have a look at anxiety uk two.
I hope that helps x
Of course it takes time to get over these issues, and reassurance will help for sure. But it's also important to eventually be able to reassure yourself.
I saw a quote once that said "be happy for no reason, otherwise if you're happy for a reason, you're in trouble because that reason can be taken away". Don't get me wrong, Its not to say that we can't rely on people we love and trust for certain things and of course people can add many wonderful things to our lives - but being able to fullfil what we need OURSELVES is a great gift and powerful too, as no one can truly take that away :yes: