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Raising the subject of sex with someone new
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've been told not to mention sex too early; when is a good time to start talking about it? How should it be brought into the conversation? Many people say not to talk about sex as the first topic of conversation. Is there a good subject to talk about immediately prior to moving the conversation to sex; something that will likely make her receptive to sexual conversation and having sex?
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But you're right - don't make sex the first topic of conversation. That won't come off very well.
What type of things should I ask her in order to get to know her? I don't want to ask her the wrong things, causing her to not want me.
The wrong answer is whether or not she is sexually attracted to you.
Why is that the wrong answer? That's the most relevant thing about her which I want to know. How about me asking her that in an indirect way, such as by asking her what she finds to be attractive attributes?
I want to hook up, get laid, get fuck buddies, have no-strings-attached sex - not enter a monogamous relationship. I wish I'd had a one-night stand last night.
The Site approves of casual sex; that's why I came here.
She'll be putty in your hands.
YOU CANT MENTION TO A GIRL WHEN YOU FIRST MEERT THEM CAN WE HAVE SEX!! If a guy said that to me I would be put off the idea straight away. You need to know what goes on in a girls mind before you even go there.
You need to think about questions she might want you to ask her, ways of complimenting her in the right way ie you look stunning, what she wants to know about you and the type of person your looking for but when I say that I DONT MEAN YOUR JUST LOOKING TO GEY INTO HER TROUSERS!! That's a no go! It's good to be honest and up front but all you should say is I'm looking for a non serious relationship as that's sounds much better and not going to conflict matters.
Again just being yourself, dressing the part, buying her flowers, talking to her respectfully and listening to what she's got to say will help you to set a good first impression. I'm not saying buying her gifts and taking her out is the way to her heart as not all girls like that. Some girls just like to get to know a guys personality and what they can bring to the relationship. You don't have to go all out buying gifts.
You might want to get some first dating advice from someone who's already been in the position you have been in from meeting so many girls but not found the one for you. I would preferably ask a guy on this one. Is there any guy mates on here your close to Adam0?
Maybe that will give you a bit more confidence to talk to a guy and get there opinion on things. You might be more prepared and relaxed. Remember nerves is fine but it's how we control them. Take a few deep breaths, stay calm and be postive.
Heres a website you might find interesting.
www.calmzone.com and you can look on the site for more information and advice on relationships and communication.
I hope that helps x
x
I've tried asking for advice from male acquaintances. They told me vague, useless things like: "just say what you think feels right" and "just go with the flow". They also told me obstructive, defeatist, useless things like: "you'll never get sex, regardless of what you say; you couldn't get laid in a brothel" and "it can't be learnt - you're either born with charm or you're not".
I don't know what to say to lead up to sex; if it can't be learnt I have no chance.