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remembering things from the past

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I really dont know what to do anymore. My dad abused me when i was younger yet he got away with it, im remembering things about it yet i have to pretend to him that everythings normal when it isnt. I dont know how to tell him. Im worried about telling him i dont want to see him anymore because he lives on the same road as me and my mum and he knows lots of people in the town and i dont want them all to hate me because they will only hear his side of the story. Im going through A levels at the moment and all this is effecting my college work :(

Comments

  • Cat88Cat88 Moderator Posts: 377 Boards Initiate
    Hi Emmajulia,

    Firstly - a massive virtual hug, this must be so hard for you. I really want us to help you deal with this so that you can focus on your college work and move on from these horrible memories.

    This is a very tricky situation - if you have chance, take a read of this page as it deals with what you're going through and some of your options. I think in the long term speaking to someone trained who can help you is likely to be a good idea, but have a read through and try to think about what might work for you.

    And of course, keep chatting to us and we'll help in any way we can.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I go to see someone to talk to every tuesday but at the moment i just want to phone my dad up and say 'i know everything' but i cant because it will make everything worse. i dont know what to do anymore. I feel like i wont be able to ever get away from it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This sounds awful. I wish I could help. :/ *hug* This sounds like a diabolical situation to be living in. I wish and hope you strength to get through this and to make the decisions that are right for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Nayaru Lovegood, you really don't have to deal with this right now as you got to concentrate as you said on your exams.

    I know its difficult but could you try talking to your mum about this help you get things off your mind? You know that nothing will be taken further and its completely confidential. Have you looked into talking to The Samaritas or ChildLine? Again they are someone who you can talk day or night 7 days a week etc.

    You need to remember to put yourself first as its not easy for you right now but I think having someone to talk to will help.

    Remember were here if you wanna talk x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    @ emmajulia sorry that message above was for you
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you everyone, i have just seen some of the papers that were used in my case at court, its that first time i have felt able to do so. I kinda wish i hadnt, it was really hard but i felt i had to read them. The things in it were worse than i had remembered but i now remember saying most of the things. I feel like the walls are coming in and i cant do any thing about it. Im ment to be seeing him tomorrow to go and see a band i like but i feel sick just thinking about seeing him. I saw him today aswell and he suggested coming to stay with him for a weekend after my exams because 'they havent seen much of me', i nearly phoned him when i got home to tell him i know everything but i didnt. Feel so helpless, i had everything planed out in my life. Go to college, do a levels, go to uni and become a teacher but it feels like its all falling apart. Right now i feel like i cant even look at a male because im scared they may be the same.:crying:
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