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Rejection

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have been in a long distance relationship for the last two years. Over the christmas period my boyfriend would no long have sex with me, going back to university over christmas we drifted a lot, mainly on my side, I felt so rejected by him and started going out with my friends a lot and ignoring his calls. At the start of march we decided to go on a break, I soon after decided I wanted it to work but we were on different pages, we ended up breaking up but continued to talk daily, we went away over easter weekend together and i thought it was the start of something again. But speaking on the phone yesterday he doesn't want to try again. I am shattered, I don't know how to get my head around this or how to let go, i wish he would change his mind. How can I cope with this.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have been in a long distance relationship for the last two years. Over the christmas period my boyfriend would no long have sex with me, going back to university over christmas we drifted a lot, mainly on my side, I felt so rejected by him and started going out with my friends a lot and ignoring his calls. At the start of march we decided to go on a break, I soon after decided I wanted it to work but we were on different pages, we ended up breaking up but continued to talk daily, we went away over easter weekend together and i thought it was the start of something again. But speaking on the phone yesterday he doesn't want to try again. I am shattered, I don't know how to get my head around this or how to let go, i wish he would change his mind. How can I cope with this.

    The same way you coped before the break. You ignore if he wants to get in contact and hang about with your friends a lot. He is not interested in you anymore. It happens, people grow apart. There is no exercise you can do or pill you can swallow to get over him faster. It is time that does the healing and you cannot slow down or accelerate that (and if you do, PM me, we gonna be the richest people on earth).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi erieberrie22, this is must be really difficult at the moment from what it sounds like to me. I do hear what ur saying and I understand how u feel.

    I know u never wanted this to happen just like ur partner never wanted this to happen either. You two spent good times together and also bad times two. You know what being in a relationship is like and it comes with trust, honesty, loyalty and commitment. This is something I believe u and ur partner had from the start right?

    Can u tell me when things started to change? What was the main problem in the relationship when things didn't start working out? The reason why I am asking these questions is to get a bit more of an understanding why u both ended up splitting up, then getting back together and then splitting. There may of been a change of heart from him or u may of not had much in common but I wanna know the real reason to why u arnt together.

    I do believe that u still love him and hoped that things would work out again. I can tell this is like what has happened previously and so it's no surprise there. I could proberly say the same to him two that deep down he still loves u.

    The problem is I know these feelings will never go away but in order for u to move on u need to cut all ties from him. Meaning u have to not go there again and do everything u can to get through this with helping itself moving on and support including family and friends. I dont feel like u have tried doing this just yet cuz u feel like u can't or that u two will be together again like before but u have been here before and there's no chance what so ever u will be back together.

    I see he's may of moved on but im not saying this for own good but for u to show him that u really have moved on now by taking action then using words. That's why u should have no contact with him and no way of thinking u two will be back together as u once did. You do deserve a lot better and will find someone who cares about u and he needs to realise that. I think it's wrong that he's played with it emotions and feelings hanging u on a piece of string ready to do what he wants when he wants not giving u a clear answer with carrying on hurting u so that's why going about the right way would be the way forward right now.

    You will in time get over this and ur not on ur own. This is part of the process when it comes to Relationships and finding the one for u. Dont feel like ur the only one because ur not and when u know next time I think it will be easier for u to forget.

    Please reach out if u need to.

    I'm here for u x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with Strubbles that it sounds like you may have just drifted apart. It hurts being rejected by someone you love but I'd reiterate the advice being shared here that the best thing to do is to go out, spend time with friends and let time heal your wounds. It's going to hurt for a while, but there is always plenty of other fish in the sea. You never know who you'll meet in the future and when you do meet someone else- you'll forget your ex ever existed. I hope you feel better soon any way. Sending love and support your way :)
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